YOU think we don't know?!?! Hunh?!?! You THINK WE DON'T FUCKING KNOW?!?!?! Believe me...we fucking KNOW and I'll tell you what we know right about goddamned now: we know that week before last 18,678 of you were reading our funny funny joke joke shit. 18,678. OK, 20 of those were us. Add 12 more if you want to count our Moms. Maybe 28 more if you wanna add angry ex's who are hoping to figure out where our "heads are at" by reading our funny funny joke shit but the hard cold fucking reality is this: if all 18,678 had bought ONE piece of porn that week we'd not be here. Which is: on SkullGame Pledge Break. Unlike Public TV this works a little different. All you FUCKING FREELOADERS buy something over a certain dollar amount and we don't do this....
WELCOME TO SKULLGAME: WE...KNOW...WHO...YOU...ARE. HAVE A NICE DAY.
FIRST THE SCIENTOLOGY. THEN THE FAGOLOGY. TRAVOLTA'S STORY: ONE MAN'S JOURNEY TO GAYITUDE
YOU AIN'T FOOLIN' NOBODY BARBARINO
WEST HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- FRED DURST has been involved in many strange episodes, especially if by "strange" you mean "gay," but none quite as strange as this story that's going around LA. Or gay.
Fred, through a tattoo guy we're friends with, met JOHN TRAVOLTA recently and the two men got
quite chummy. Especially if by "chummy" you mean "strange."
One night, we hear, Travolta called Durst to say he was coming round. When he arrived, Travolta said
"Johnny wants mouthwash. Johnny loves mouthwash."
Durst gave him the mouthwash.
Next thing he knew, Travolta leaned in for a kiss. Seeing Durst's surprise, Travolta took a step back, saying that he got the wrong end of the stick and left. Durst stood there, horrified. Not because of any kiss. But because Travolta wasn't wearing his wig.
John, we hardly knew ye.
NEGRO IMPERSONATOR EMINEM SAD IN WAYS THAT NO NEGRO WOULD EVER BE: HE, APPARENTLY, IS TOO RICH. "AIN'T THAT A BITCH," SAYS SKULLGAME'S RESIDENT NEGRO.
"YOU SEE...I'M SAD, BECAUSE, UM, WELL BECAUSE THE MAN IS HOLDING ME DOWN LIKE HE ALWAYS DONE. US MILLIONAIRES TIRED OF TAKING THIS SHIT, G. WHEN'S IT GONNA STOP?!?!"
DETROIT (SkullGame) -- Close friends of EMINEM are worried the hip-hop star is considering suicide after suffering a heart-breaking series of tragic events when lost count of his personal fortune somwhere around $378 million and had to start again. At the beginning!
While the rapper recently announced earlier this month he was divorcing wife Kim, just 81 days after the couple married for a second time, and the star was left stunned by the murder of his best friend, rapper Proof, earlier this week, it was the shocking loss of count around $377 million that may be the golden straw that broke the golden calf's back.
A friend of the rapper tells SkullGame, "I'm not sure that (Eminem) can handle all this ... I'm worried that he may try to hurt himself. Staring over again at zero could be just about fatal for him.
The rapper attempted suicide in 1997 after Kim left him and barred him from visiting his daughter, Hailie.
IN RELATED NEW: PEPE, SkullGame's 65-year-old janitor, is quite happy to have received a 1.78 percent raise this year over the $10,000 we paid him for fiscal years 2004-2006.
IS ZIONIST BRETT RATNER FUCKING FINE ASS ANOREXIC LUNATIC LINDSAY LOHAN?!?!?
"WILL NO ONE RESCUE ME FROM THIS INTERGENERATIONAL LIVING NIGHTMARE?!?!?"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- LINDSAY LOHAN has given up on 20-something lovers and has her sights set on aging filmmaker Brett Ratner, according to tabloid reports. The actress/singer and the old and overweight Rush Hour director were spotted enjoying each other's company at a recent party at Los Angeles' Dime club. Especially if by "enjoying" you mean her trying to steady his palsied touch with a special sippy cup full of vodka.
One reveller tells us, "He was all over her, touching and caressing. Slobbering, drooling. Talking about shit like how it was almost as cool as Studio 54 was and shit."
At 37, Ratner, who was most recent intergenerational maurauding saw him dating tennis ace SERENA WILLIAMS, is almost twice the 19-year-old Aryan woman's age. After splitting from Wilmer Valderrama, Lohan has been romantically linked with a string of hunky young stars, including Jared Leto.
IN A PREVIOUS INCARNATION RATNER WAS BONING TENNIS TITAN SERENA WILLIAMS. PICTURED HERE WITH WILLIAMS HE APPEARS TO SPORTING AN ANKLE HURT WHIILST RUSHING TO THE BANK. TO ROB IT.
Also...Lohan and JESSICA SIMPSON have sparked a new Hollywood feud after falling out in a Los Angeles nightclub. The pair reportedly had a nasty run-in last week after Simpson maintained that she was much of a stupid bitch. A characterization Lohan disputed.
Lohan's rumored beau, the Hebrew Ratner, who directed Simpson's "These Boots (Are Made for Walkin')" video, stepped into the fracas and tried to calm Lohan down, convincing her "you're BOTH totally stupid bitches. Young. Stupid. Bitches. Did I say 'young' already? Gimme my cane now you goyischer fuck and get outta my way."
SKULLGAME SAL PACINO EDITORIAL ANALYSIS: "When I read this, I initially grabbed for my wallet, not unlike the way I normally do when a Puerto Rican or Jew walks into the room.
After reading further I realized that in all liklihood it was probably true and that all my prayers to God and the Baby Jesus had in fact been answered.
Thank you BABY JESUS for smiting the evil Huckster Eminem.
