BUT FIRST THIS WORD OF KIND FUCKING APOLOGY
A while back we had run a playa haters issue wherein we picked some good-natured fun at our own CORNHOLIO. Post-article the silence was glacial. And then this photo showed up and apropos of this we thought it best to take the time to say "we are sincerely sorry that we called you a Black Motherfucker, sir."
HOT BLONDE BITCH TEACHER SAVAGELY RAVAGES THE WORLD'S LUCKIEST FUCKING 14-YEAR-OLD BOY
THE MARAUDING SUCKSTRESS AT HER RECENT COURT APPEARANCE
TAMPA (SkullGame) -- A newlywed middle-school teacher in the grisly grips of fellatio fever, has been charged with having sex numerous fucking times with a 14-year-old student, including in a classroom, her apartment, once in a vehicle while his 15-year-old cousin drove, in her ass, and in copious drip drops down the length of her sex-crazed face.
A BEAUTIFUL HEART, SPIRIT AND TOTALLY FUCKING STUPENDOUS SUCK SKILLS
DEBRA BEASLEY LAFAVE, 23, turned herself in to grinning Marion County authorities in Ocala, Monday. She was released on $25,000 bail.
Lafave, of Riverview, is a reading teacher at Greco Middle School in Temple Terrace, a few miles north of Tampa where she largely advises students on how best to read words like "fuck" and "me" and "in the ass." She was charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition and additional counts of misleading a nation of 14 year olds into thinking they got a fucking chance.
"SAY. ISN'T THAT THE GUY WHOSE WIFE RAPED THAT KID WITH HER ASSHOLE? YEAHHH. I THOUGHT SO. LET'S WAVE AT HIM. AND LAUGH."
Authorities say Lafave, who has been married less than a year to a very, very fucking UNamused sap who if he knew what was good for him would start releasing their fuck vids through SKULLGAME, had sex with the student in the back of her sport utility vehicle while the student's 15- year-old cousin drove them around the Ocala area, asked if he could get "next," and almost crashed the fucking truck no fewer than three times trying to watch what the fuck was going on.
Lafave's nervous lawyer, John Fitzgibbons, said he was not ready to respond to the allegations. Until he sees the video. A few more 20 times or so. "There is a presumption of innocence in this country," he said, struggling to look all serious and shit.
IN A RECENT LUNATIC RAPIST MONTHLY, LAFAVE MODELS THE TOOLS OF HER NEFARIOUS TRADE
Marion County detectives said the boy and his cousin provided matching statements incriminating the teacher and that the 14-year-old was able to identify tattoos and birthmarks on Lafave's body and the layout of her apartment.
The teen told investigators that he and Lafave got to know each other very, very, very well on their way back from a middle school graduating class trip to SeaWorld Orlando last month.
He said that she would invite him to her class during detention and ended up taking him to his basketball practices at a recreation center, to get his hair cut and to his house, the report said.
The boy told detectives that Lafave told him that her marriage was in trouble what on account of her sucking so much spring sausage and that she was aroused by the fact that having sex with him was not allowed by laws of God or man.
AFTER THE FUN AND GAMES. AND THE SUCKING. AND ASS FUCKING. WE CAN ALL REST EASIER KNOWING THIS COCK MONSTER HAS BEEN APPREHENDED
Lafave, who has worked with the Hillsborough County school system for two years, has been placed on administrative duty and could be suspended without pay following the next school board meeting, officials said.
Whoopidi fucking do.
MR. XTRA [P] RESENTS: TENNIS BIZNATCHES--THE SLUTTIEST RACKET
Women's tennis is about two things: legs and nipple poke. I guess that's four things. Some people have tried telling me the women also hit balls and score points and shit, but you know what? Just between us, I think those people are trying to fuck with me.
Rackets? Deuce? Break point? I don't see any of that shit. And I've been paying attention. I've been watching Wimbledon like I watch porno.
That's with a bottle of bourbon to my left, a bottle of oil to my right, and my dick straight down the middle.
Yeah, sometimes I get too heated and swig from the right. But I just spit that shit back down the middle.
So here's my top 5 tennis bitches I'd like to fuck:
1. SERENA WILLIAMS:
TENNIS?
She's got those big natural fucking jumbo tits that look like they'll give her a KO whenever she jumps. Plus I don't mind muscle bitches. As long as they haven't got a cock, And Serena's outfits are too tight to be hiding a cock. Which reminds me of something else tennis is about: sweat-drenched camel toe.
2. MARIA SHARAPOVA:
COME TO XTRA, BABY. COME TO XTRA.
People are calling this Siberian tiger bitch the new Anna Kournikova except better cos:
a) She's got a cuter face than puffy-cheeked Anna,
b) Her legs are longer than most people are tall,
c) She's won tennis tournaments as if anyone gives a fuck.
3. JENNIFER CAPRIATI:
NOW THAT'S ONE BITCH WE WOULDN'T WANT TO FIGHT
This thieving drug-taker may have the face of a hardened criminal, plus George Hamilton just called and asked for his suntan back, but she's got nipple poke that'd poke a hole in a goddamn dyke. Which many people say tennis bitches are. But not Jennifer. As far as I know. I haven't fucked her yet.
4. KAROLINA SPREM:
WITH HER SUPERIOR BALL-HANDLING SKILLS SHE...WELL, SHE HANDLES BALLS VERY WELL
Dresses like a street-walking ho on the tennis court. Which just means she's from Eastern Europe. But I'm convinced that surname's an anagram for something... hmmm, not sure what... but if I watch her long enough maybe I'll put my finger on it.
5. ANNA KOURNIKOVA:
DUMPS LIKE A TRUCK, TRUCK, TRUCK
Officially she's only semi-retired. So her ass still counts, And it's her ass I'd count on. There's my dick, once, twice, there it is again, three times, and, oh lookee here, there's my fucking man-jit. All over her tennis bitch ass. Game, set and match.
PARIS HILTON'S SELF-INVOLVEMENT REACHES CRITICALLY SELF-INVOLVED LEVELS
WHAT? OH NO, HAHA. IT'S NOT FOR ME. IT'S A GIFT FOR SOMEONE ELSE
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO...Or Sal Meets The Letter Of The Goddamned Law UFC Wise.
Matt Serra vs. Ivan Menjivar
Lightweight Bout
Matt Serra over Ivan Menjivar by unanimous decision after 3 rounds of action.
Evan Tanner vs. Phil Baroni
Middleweight Bout
Evan Tanner over Phil Baroni by TKO…again in the waning seconds of the third and final round.
Matt Hughes vs. Renato Verissimo
Welterweight Bout
Matt Hughes over Renato Verissimo by majority decision after 3 rounds of action.
Tim Sylvia vs. Frank Mir
Heavyweight Championship Bout
Frank Mir over Tim “I’m too much of a Macho man to tap” Sylvia by referee stoppage due to broken arm in early minutes of Round one.
Frank Trigg vs. Dennis Hallman
Welterweight Bout
Frank Trigg over Dennis “You got knocked the fuck out” Hallman by…you guessed it, knockout in the first minutes of Round one.
Ken Shamrock vs. Kimo
Heavyweight Bout
Ken Shamrock over Kimo by flash knockout due to knee coming out of the clinch in the early minutes of Round one.
There, now… lets get back to dismissive contempt, mean spirited sarcasm and pretty much just bad vibery.
Oh yes and occasional drug burn.
