THIS edition of SkullGame is brought to you JESSICA'S JUGS 4 KIDS program. A program whose ill-defined charter is best exemplified by one of Jessica's success stories: Ladies & Gentleman, Meet CHLOE. When Chloe's not protesting faggotry she's enjoying faggotry. And she wants us all to know that she couldn't do any of it if it wasn't for Jesus. And/or Mohammed.
"THANK YOU JESSICA. I LOVE YOU. YOU CUNT."
RAPPER EVE GETS PLUGGED BY PLASTIC COCK FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF MILLIONS, SEEKS SECURITY IN THE ARMS OF BRUTAL DICTATOR, AFTER DISCOVERING THAT A DICTATOR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER DICKS OR TATERS.
EVE, SUPERIMPOSED ON AN IMAGE FROM HER PUSSY PLUNGING VID, READIES THE KNIVES OF JUSTICE
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Rapper EVE has got herself a charming new boyfriend, Teodorin Nguema Obiang, a rich, 34-year-old with a LA based record label. Teodorin likes to show his ladies a good time, spending $700,000 at Christmas to rent Paul Allen's yacht and on just one day dropping $1.5m on two Bentleys and a Lambourghini.
But he's not just your average playboy, Teodorin is the son of Equatorial Guinea dictator Teodoro Obiang Nguema, rated no. 10 this year in Parade magazine's annual List of Dictators. Teodorin is showing great promise in following in his father's footsteps.
1) Set up his label with $3m ferreted out of his country, where most people live on less than $1 per day. His father has smuggled out more than $700m to US bank accounts so far. Fantastico!!!
2) In 2003, quarrelled with his uncle Armengol Ondo Nguema, national security chief, who then underwent two mysterious "suicide attempts" and was later sent out of the country to "recover."
3) Is the owner of Equatorial Guinea's only radio station, director of its only TV company, and forestry minister, but lives almost all year round in his mansions in Paris, London, South Africa, LA and Rio.
HEY girls!!! There may not be more like this dishy hunk where he came from, but dictators are aplenty, if you only know where to look: http://tinyurl.com/73yr5
SKULLGAME PARTY FUN FACT: DID YOU KNOW....?
AND IN BESSARABIA? IT'S CALLED ANAL ASS MOUNTAIN!!! IT IS. IT'S TRUE!
Pirate DVDs of Brokeback Mountain made it to Turkey months before the official cinema screenings. How was the title translated into Turkish?
Faggot Cowboys.
JESSICA'S SIMPSONS JUGS FOR JUNIORS, A HUGE SUCCESS! AMONG JUNIORS AND/OR GUYS NAMED JUNIOR.
"GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES...AND I'LL GIVE MY JUGS TO THE WORLD!!!"
"Singer" JESSICA SIMPSON. No. Not the one who lip synchs. On Satuurday Night Live. Who dyes her hair. Yeahhh, yeahhh...the other one. The one who thinks Chicken of the Sea's a chicken who swims. Anyways, she'll be following in her idol and known Negro lover ANGELINA JOLIE'S footsteps later this month, when she lobbies members of Congress on behalf of getting her very own Negro to love. Or maybe a Chinee baby.
The star will head to Washington, D.C., to speak with lawmakers about Operation Smile [At My Knobs], an organization that provides facial surgery for children with facial abnormalities, so that their faces look much more like Jessica Simspon's than not.
Simpson visited Africa last year as a guest of the charity group, Broke Negroes 4 Rich White Broads.
A source "close" to the "organization" "confirms", "She's in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good. And giving these little mud kids a chance to have decent faces and nice places to sleep downstairs next to the broom closet where they can bring her breakfast in bed and shit. Well, it couldn't get more perfect.
"She's flying in on her own dime. This is her Angelina moment."
Oh Jesus. H. Fucking Christ.
NUMBER OF BILLIONAIRES SURGES; NUMBER OF SKULLGAME WRITERS NOT AMONG THEM ALSO SURGES.
IT IS EASIER FOR A CAMEL TO FIT THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE THAN IT IS FOR A RICH MAN TO NOT FUCK A HOT BITCH.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- The number of billionaires surged this year, as did their collective pile of cash, according to Forbes magazine's annual billionaire list. The magazine said the number of billionaires worldwide increased by 102 people in 2006 to 793, a record number, largely due to bullish global stock markets. Their total net worth jumped 18 percent to $2.6 trillion.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates is still the world's richest man, the magazine said, marking his twelfth consecutive year in the No. 1 spot. Famed investor Warren Buffett again takes second place, and this year the gap between the two moguls is even wider, the magazine said. Three new people moved into the top 10: France's Bernard Arnault at No. 7, Canada's Kenneth Thomson and family, ranked ninth, and Hong Kong's Li Ka-Shing in the No. 10 spot.
With 371, the U.S. is the country with the most billionaires, followed by German with 55, the magazine reported. The total worth of all U.S. billionaires combined is $1.1 trillion, while Europe's combined billionaire worth is $802 billion, it said. New York seemed to be the hot spot for the super rich, attracting 40 billionaires, followed by Moscow with 25 and London with 23, according to the magazine.
In related news VINNIE ROSE got $.57 cents of gas at the goddamned gas station again.
