YO VINNIE,
To make a long story much shorter, we went to meet some football players at a hotel and ended up partying with them and next thing I know my girl is sucking one of them off on the balcony. I wanted to do something but I didn't want to get kicked out of the party. We talked about it later, well mostly I cried about it and she said that it was nothing and I should get over it. Since then it's happened with one of the guys in what used to be my favorite band. And one other time with a local newscaster. Should I be upset? I mean more than I sort of am already? -- P.K., Albuquerque, NM (by email)

Dear Huggy Bear: Man, oh, man this is one fucking touching story of a man (not YOU you stupid motherfucker), a cock, a woman, and a pimp with a heart of shit and a noodle for a spine (THAT'S you, you fucking sissy). I mean after the first time of you catching your sluice gate sucking sauce we here at MACK AVE. almost had some sort of feeling veering dangerously close to sympathy for you what with that scenario being an all-too-familiar one for us familiar with having our pipes in the tails of OMHs (other men's ho's) and whatnot.

LOTS OF ROOM FOR SOCIAL ADVANCEMENT FOR A YOUNG WOMAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO USE HER HEAD. AND HER FUCKING PIMP OF A BOYFRIEND

But after the THIRD fucking time, like the joke goes about the guy who keeps getting raped by the bear, "you don't come here for the hunting do you?" You're the worst kind of celebrity fucker, pimp, and excuse for a hanger-on that we've ever seen. KATO KAELIN is DAG HAMMERSKOLD compared to you. But here's the advice you so desperately seem to need: keep your girl from finding out as long as possible that she doesn't NEED you at all and you'll be just fine.

...The FACE & Ways To ABUSE It

HYPNOTICA, IMMEDIATELY POST-STARING INTO THE YAWNING VOID OF HER SELF-WILLED DEGRADATION, RECONSIDERING WHETHER HIGH SCHOOL ALGEBRA WAS REALLY ALL THAT USELESS AFTER ALL.

A funny thing happened on the way to us being soulless, heartless lovers of all misery and that's that we became soulless, heartless lovers of all misery. We chuckle at old ladies slipping down icy staircases, chortle at car crashes and guffaw great gales of horsey laughter when one of our friends meet a misery that we're glad wasn't visited upon us. If you got cancer of the ass, we'd be glad it wasn't us. And if we were fucking your girlfriend on a mattress that you were sleeping UNDER your cries of discomfort would sound like music to our disgusting ears.

But we are not without a few redeeming qualities, the first and foremost among them being an ardent belief in the spirit of fairplay. That is to say: if you're an able-bodied ADULT and there are NO GUNS in the room then whatever you consent to, as far as we're concerned, is to be enjoyed like the entertainment it poses as.

Enter FACIAL ABUSE.

Picking up where MEATHOLES left off this site is unrepentantly repellent. In a good way: spitting, choke fucking, vomiting as a result of choke fucking, face cumming, tears and sobs as a result of face cumming, ass fucking, name calling, slapping, choking, ample mention of mothers and boyfriends, and at the end of it all: another human being whose spirit has been crushed while they vacantly wonder where it all went wrong and rock silently back and forth.

Can you jerk off to this?

Depends on what kind of a sick fuck you are.

But the appeal here is not that kind of appeal. It's the kind of appeal that causes you to stop at a car crash, watch a PARIS HILTON music video or watch bums fight each other for dollar bills.

In other words: it's fired with the pure and clear joy of watching another human get exactly what they fucking deserve. In fact I'd like to see a line of vid like this that included men [minus the whole fucking part], but I guess that's already out there. It's just called PRISON.

If you don't spend the ducats to check this out you shouldn't even be reading this site. At all.