AND in full recognition of a day that is a day full of portends, the world (and specifically the SkullGame portion of it) wish VINNIE a birthday as happy as the day he had the other day when he got .57 cents worth of gas at the gas station ("not even enough to set yourself on fire" ITALIAN SAL was to note), was laughed at by the terrorist watchlisted station monkey, discovered his car would then only drive in reverse out of mocking gas station, and was denied entry to an orgy hosted by STEPHANIE RED on the grounds that he was "too nice."
FROM THE SKULLGAME PERSONAL LINE OF IMMIGRANT-PRODUCED GREETING CARDS. FOR THAT MOMENT THAT SAYS ALL OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID WHEN IT'S TIME TO FUCKING SAY IT.
SUGE KNIGHT SHOT; MILLIONS OF THOSE WITH REASONS TO SHOOT HIM SHRUG "I DUNNO" WHILST HIS ERSTWHILE CELLIE FRETS, "MY SWEET, SWEET BABOO."
"FUCK THESE NIGGAS. I'M CUTTING THE LINE...." SUGE KNIGHT MOMENTS BEFORE HE GETS CAP BUSTED IN ASS. THE CAP BEING SOME ANGRY NEGRO'S. THE ASS BEING HIS.
MIAMI (SkullGame) -- Murdering rap mogul MARION "SUGE" KNIGHT, whose name inspires concerns about all manner of frivolous gaiety, was shot in the leg early Sunday during a party hosted by Grammy-winning hip hop artist KANYE WEST, police said.
Knight, 40, was hospitalized in condition described as "good" by both his ass and the bullet, police said. He was shot as part of an event and during a celebrity-studded party at the Shore Club, one of the many celebrations in Miami Beach ahead of the MTV Video Music Awards scheduled Sunday night, said Miami Beach Police Officer Tony Montana.
Sonja Mauro, a guest at the club, said a shot in the party's VIP-Shooting Section rang out shortly before 1 a.m. "I was in there and I heard a pop. Then a pop, pop, pop and um, a poppity pop pop pop. Then, maybe, a poppie pop pap? Shit. I don't know. But what I DO know is that I haven't had that much fun since hanging with Teddy Pendergrass and those tranny hookers back in the 80s. Anyways I ran out and got trampled," she said. "It was FANTABULOUS."
People attending the party began screaming and running for the doors, she said. Celebrities who attended and were screaming and running were actress and wife of known homosexual JESSICA ALBA and recently divorced frenzied tranny lover and comedian EDDIE MURPHY (who was screaming, running and looking high and low for trannies in need of a pair of helping hands in their time of pre-op-transsexual need).
However, all in attendance agreed, "it couldn't have happened to a nicer motherfucking murderer."
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT "HURTS" HER "HEAD" AT "WORK"
SHE'S HURTING MY HEAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW AS WELL.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT has become the latest actress to be nursing injuries picked up from the workplace, after being hit on the head by a producer's heavy hand while flowing out advancement opportunities on her new TV series.
The brunette beauty suffered a mild concussion on August 22, when she was accidentally struck by the man she was vigorously fellating for her upcoming TV show, Ghost Whisperer.
And just days earlier, on August 17, Desperate Housewives beauty EVA LONGORIA was treated in hospital after a load, possibly several, fell on her head while filming scene for her hit show.
We suspect you all will join us in a wish for their speedy recoveries and return to their full-on fellating specialities (double-handed and nut juggled, respectively).
LT. TODD ATKINS ON MUST-SEE TV: A PILOT IN TURNAROUND ENTITLED JUSTICE ACHIEVED.
OK. SO THEY WERE NOT MONGOLS. THEY WERE BLACK PISTONS. A NAME UNPARALLELED IN REPRESSED HOMOSEXUAL GAYNESS. WHAT? YOU NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THE HEAT OF ASS-KICKING BATTLE?
LT. TODD ATKINS (TM) takes on a gang of bikers!!!
Me and 2 friends decided to go by a popular ice house to drink a couple of brewskies on a Wednesday night. This place is a popular hangout with biker types, so personally it's not the type of place I would go into without back-up. It's not that I'm looking for trouble or anything. But I'm a realist.
I know I don't take any crap from anyone (especially on the Internet) and in this type of establishment you probably won't end up in a one-on-one situation. So the night I decided to go there I was with 2 of my toughest friends.
Lance "Freight Train" Giles, a 250-pound former linebacker at the high school we went to, with big bones and huge fists. Also, Tony "Curb Sandwhich" Romano, a tough Italian that dropped out of high school when we were going and is now a welder. He's not a martial artist per se but he's seen many street fights and got his nickname from the painful finishing blow he uses when the situation warrants.
So anyway we're at this ice house getting pretty drunk and checking out the bikers. Some of them weren't that impressive, but there was one crew there that was pretty scraggly. There were 6 of them along with 2 good looking biker chicks they had with them. They had their club motto on their jackets, (Mongols or something like that) along with some beards and tattoos and a fair amount of muscles.
Now that you know the players, here's how the trouble started: Freight Train decided he was in love with one of the biker girls. That's the problem with bringing this animal in public, you can't control him. So he goes over and asks her if she'd like to make love. To his penis. Of course the bikers are pissed and 2 of them get in his face. When I saw the other bikers were going to get involved, me and Tony stepped up to the plate.
It was a face off now, 6 against 3. The guy who was apparently their leader said, "Your friend is about to get hurt. Unelss you want to join him, I suggest you back away." The other 2 knowing I was the toughest let me speak. "This can happen 2 ways," I said. "One, you back off like the homosexuals I suspect you of being, we'll buy you a round of singapore slings or shirley temples or whatever and call it even. Two, you make your move and me and my friends have to put you down in a painful fashion." They started laughing at this and the next thing you know, a brawl erupted.
Now a lot of you fags talk about fighting multiple opponents, but you don't know what you're talking about because you haven't done it. The truth is that while strikes and grappling come into play, it's basically a free for all. The first thing I did was take one of the bikers to the ground and slap on an armbar, but before I could do anything the other guy on me started stomping me, so I had to let it go. The other 2 guys on my side were also taking on 2 a piece.
When I stood back up, one of my opponents bear hugged me from behind while the other was punching me in the head and face. I foot stomped the guy behind and broke free and then started throwing my Mike Tyson-type speed bombs. Trading shots with both of them, I ending up scoring a flash knockdown on one of them. Then I went after the other one and floored him with 3 punches and while he was down, picked up a chair and busted it over his head. He was out.
Then the other one jumped me and I took him to the ground slapped another arm bar on him and this time I pulled his arm out of its socket while he screamed. My 2 opponents were history. I looked up and saw that Freight Train was still holding his own, but Tony was being stomped on. I punched one of them hard to the back of the head and with sudden ferocity, I slapped on a reverse DDT like Sting does and smashed the back of his head into the pavement. He was out.
"C'mon bitch!", I said to the other guy. (Just like I do on the Internet, except I would have verbally destroyed him with my sharp wit.)
He picked up a chair and tried to swing it at me, but I ducked underneath it and took him down. There I simply choked him out. After that Tony and I helped Freight Train knock the other 2 out with blows. Then Tony lived up to his nickname by giving a curb sandwich to the guy I choked out. After that some bartender said he called the cops, so we knocked their bikes over and took off.
When I got home and told my lady about what had happened, she was so proud of me that she awarded me with a threesome with some hot little brunette number.
Well, I guess the point of this story is that while it's good to train hard core, it's even better to live hard core. Capital H. Capital A. Capitol R. Capitain D. Capstan C. Carpaccio O. Capitola R. Capital E.
Precisely.
