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11.29.04
SKULLGAME GETS SERIOUS FOR ONE GODDAMNED MINUTE: A GROSS MISCARRIAGE OF SEXUAL JUSTICE; PLUS: JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT HELPS THE HOMELESS...TO EVERYTHING BUT PUSSY & SHOWGIRLS' STAR DISCOVERS SHAME

But first: We don't know exactly what's happening here but when we got this "anonymous" photo from a reader, in all likelihood named DAVE DIETRICH, it made it so we couldn't touch our cocks for a week. Or fish. Or fish cock. And his wife in the background with the eel up her cooch? What the hell can you say? A glimpse into the life of the average SkullGame reader.

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I'M A FISH FUCKER. AND I VOTE!!!....MOSTLY FOR FISHFUCKING, BUT STILL...



A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TO ME ON THE WAY TO SING SING...

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THINGS TO NOT SAY WHEN YOU'RE ON TRIAL FOR RAPE: "WHY THAT SLUT RIGHT THERE, YOUR HONOR."


At SkullGame we kid a lot. Because we are kidders. But every now and then we stumble on a situation that cries out for the kind of justice that can only be meted out by a website that talks about sluts, cocks and fish fucking. We are collecting for DEFENDENT X's upcoming appeal. Read a SkullGame Insider's account of THE RAPE TRIAL OF THE CENTURY

"The Girl on the stand, the victim, testified that she was lured into the guy's apartment and raped. She was a High School senior, cute, smart and a recent immigrant. He threatened her with a weapon in an otherwise empty apartment.

The Guy, the defendant looked like he was guilty of something, and he had been over and over, as his 20 year rap-sheet attested. He was loud and slovenly in the court and had to be escorted out on one occasion. He claimed that he offered her money for a quickie, but after, didn't have as much as he promised, but most of his testimony in his own defense was clearly a pack of lies that he made up on the stand, and he had no witnesses to his own defense.

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THE REST OF THE JURY: A VERITABLE CAVALCADE OF CUNT

The DNA evidence showed that his sperm was clearly on her undergarments, though the sample taken from inside her body was inconclusive.

Ultimately, there was no hard evidence proving whether it was rape or consensual, except that he was a three-time loser and she was a shy, innocent kid, and for most of the jury, that was enough. There was no information given about the victim, her lifestyle, behavior, or character, and apparantly it's illegal to examine any personal details about a woman who accuses a man of rape (the Rape Victim's Protection Law). Except for this one guy, who had a problem with her testimony. Seems she never really explained why she went to the apartment with him (he didn't threaten her until after she got in and closed the door). And what she said sounded like a lie.

For the rest of the jury, whether she lied or not didn't even matter. One look at the guy and one look at that sweet, shy thing on the stand was enough. Of course you know there's gonna be one guy who had a problem sending a guy away for a few decades based solely on the word of one girl.

And I guess you know who the guy was: SkullGame's own.

So we deliberated for four days (afterward, the lawyers told us that the yelling from the jury room could be heard all the way into the court). The mindboggling thing of it all was that the other jurors really felt that they'd come to a logical descision based on FACTS, and that it wasn't important whether she lied on the stand, since she was such a sweet, shy, naive, young thing.

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THE PLAINTIFF: JUST A SWEET, SHY, NAIVE, YOUNG SUCK MUMBLER

In fact, the other jurors told me conclusively that she was a shy, bookish naive, even though we never heard anything like that in court. They also told me a lot of other things, like that I should be disqualified, that I was only defending him because the victim was also Black and that "some" white people are in favor of black-on-black crime, that Oprah proved that when teenagers have consensual sex it's only oral, that the photos of the crime scene showed a place that was too messy for a willing teenager. You know, logical arguments.

Thing is, the foreman refused to quit, even when we appeared deadlocked. On the last day when everyone's arguments had been exhausted, we went over her testimony one more time, and I heard a detail about the weapon that she couldn't possible have made up, and with a weapon, there was reasonable grounds to assume "forcible compulsion," and we sent him up for, probably, several decades.

When we left the courtroom, we ran into the lawyers, and since we were now allowed to discuss the case, we had questions for each other. So, the foreman asked why it was that the sperm taken from her clothing was conclusively the defendant's, while the sample from inside her body was inconclusive.

The answer was this: there was sperm from three different men inside the girl.

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I AM GUILTY OF NOTHING BUT LOVING, NOT POORLY, BUT UNWISELY. AND IN THE ASS, GODDAMNIT.

THIS SOYLENT GREEN MOMENT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY SKULLGAME LEGAL: "WHEN TRUSTING HOES IS NO LONGER AN OPTION, SKULLGAME LEGAL IS..."



JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT SERVES PIE TO THE HOMELESS. FOR A FEW FUCKING MINUTES. BEFORE LIMO'ING OFF TO SAFETY. BAFFLED HOMELESS ASK "WHO WAS THAT WONDERFUL MASKED WOMAN THAT WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO RAPE?"

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IS IT A HO? A SKANK? NO...JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME...IT'S PARTY GIRL!!!

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Hollywood Hot Ass JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT spent last week's Thanksgiving celebrations serving pumpkin pie to the homeless in Los Angeles, and thanking God and her doctor, for giving her so much, in the way of tits, while giving everyone else so little.

The actress was joined in a double team of absolutely sadistic proportions by "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" star MELISSA JOAN HART.

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...AND I'M HER TRUSTY SIDEKICK, BLUEBALLONIA!!!

A witness says about the dynamic duo of dick-filled imaginings, "It was really sweet, and court ordered, of them to spend their day treating the less fortunate to cleavage shots, camel toes and really slow banana eating. You could see it was appreciated."



SHOWGIRLS'S ELIZABETH BERKLEY FORGETS FOR A SECOND THAT SHE'S SHOWGIRLS'S ELIZABETH BERKLEY & 'REFUSES' TO ANSWER SPIT QUESTION

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OK, OK, I DIDN'T SPIT. I REALLY JUST SWALLOWED.


HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Hollywood mattress ELIZABETH BERKLEY reportedly left an American journalist speechless recently, when he asked her if she could spit as well as she did in "Showgirls."

Berkley repeatedly spat on co-star Kyle MacLachlan's face during take after take on the set of the 1995 movie, and so writer Baird Jones asked her if she could still unleash phlegm as well as she used to.

Berkley curtly told the writer, "Talking about spit is so far beneath my dignity as a thestri...thesquestrian...sequestrian....I mean, LESBIAN, that I won't even validly recognize that question's validness."

Jones tells SkullGame, "I walked away shaking my head and laughing loudly and a few minutes later, she followed me over making the universal fist-to-mouth blowjob sign and started furiously bobbing her head and berating me for my 'silly' question. I guess I should be thankful that at least she didn't spit...you know...after I came."


 


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