THIS issue of SkullGame has been brought to you by our charitable giving partner in crime BODY BOUNCER who have invented a chair device that allows us to keep TEAMING UP FOR AMERICA by giving to those in need of the kind of charity that we so freely dispense whilst saving our more vital energies for other things. Like copping. Or JACK MOVES.
AN ARTIST'S DEPICTION OF VINNIE & SAL...HELPING. SHARING....CARING...
TESTICLEMONIALS
"When they said ounce, and um, bounce, and um, bounce to the ounce, I thought they were talking about blow. Is it me?" -- WHITNEY HOUSTON
"But is it strong enough to hold a man? Well, what about a man named Twan?" -- STEVE YOUNG
"Why do you always make Miles Davis slap you?" -- MILES DAVIS
EDDIE MURPHY TEARS INTO FRANTIC TRANNY FRENZY TO END ALL FRANTIC TRANNY FRENZIES
THE SYMPTOMS ARE ALL THERE. LACK OF RECOGNITION OF FINE BITCH BEHIND YOU, LASER-LIKE FOCUS ON BITCH WITH DICK, CAR TROUBLES IN FRONT OF YOU. CAN MURPHY BE SAVED?
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- EDDIE MURPHY'S beautiful and "statuesque", if not vaguely mannish, wife Nicole has filed for divorce from the comedian, citing "irreconcilable tranny-related differences." The British beauty filed the papers in downtown Los Angeles Friday on her way to a "women's" rugby game, and has recruited high-powered celebrity divorce lawyer and wily Jew Neil Hersch to extricate her from what's become a miasmic nightmare of tranny discovery, concealment and repeated excuse making.
The two have been married for 12 years, 12 looooong, uncomfortable years after exchanging vows on March 18, 1993 that apparently included passages about his abiding interests in emergency road service and, um, transsexuals.
In a statement released to TV show "Extra!," the "funny" "man" says, "The welfare of our children is our main concern and their best interests are our first priority...followed closely by my personal interests in helping frail 6'2", 220 pound transsexual prostitutes out of a life of niggardly car repairs and poverty."
MOM WHO WANTED TO BE "COOL" SUCKS & FUCKS SON'S FRIENDS. PRETTY MUCH OUR DEFINITION OF COOL.
"I...I...WUV YOU MOMMY...."
DENVER (SkullGame) -- As previously reported, 40-year-old SYLVIA ANN JOHNSON was charged with sexual assault and contributing to the delinquency of a minor for hosting weekly sex-drug parties for teenage boys. In accordance with a plea agreement, she pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor sex-assault counts and nine felony counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
No sentencing date has been disclosed, but Johnson could spend 58 years in prison if the book is thrown at her. Two felony drug charges were dropped as part of the plea agreement. To summarize, Johnson committed the crimes because she wasn't a cool kid in high school and, as a result, it seems she'll be spending a nice stretch in the cooler. How ironic.
According to this report, Johnson will be sentenced on September 26. Also, each sexual assault count carries up to two years in jail and a fine of $5,000, and each contributing count carries up to six years in prison and a $500,000 fine, according to Pam Russell, a spokeswoman for the district attorney's office.
We are collecting for a FREE THE SLUT MOM vigil now. Donations can be PayPal'd to VINNIE@SKULLGAME.COM
JESSICA SIMPSON TRYING TO GET PREGNANT FROM MOUTH SEX. FAILING MISERABLY AT PREGNANCY. SUCCEEDING ADMIRABLY AT SUCK SEX.
IF WE YANKED OFF THE MASK OF CIVILITY WE'D BE GUESSING THAT WE'D BE SPENDING ALL OF OUR TIME A) RAPING WOMEN AND B) KILLING MEN WHO RAPED OUR WOMEN. WHY'D WE THINK OF THIS JUST NOW? OH....NO REASON.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Professional Bubblehead JESSICA SIMPSON has no plans to have children with husband Nick Lachey just yet, but is enjoying "practicing. With lots and lots and a bunch of mouth sex."
"The Dukes of Hazzard" actress Simpson is looking forward to having kids with her husband. She says, "If I got pregnant I'd be ecstatic, but no matter how hard I suck, or is it blow? Well it just doesn't seem to be happening. We're definitely practicing though. Outside of that it's just in God's hands. And my mouth."
SKULLGAME FUN FACT: You are 10 times more likely to get butt-fucked in a juvenile detention centeR than at an adult prison in America.
