AND SkullGame would like to welcome on board MR. SCOTT ADAMS and his MACK AVENUE-ized DILDOBERT, his thoroughly delightful HA-HA FUNNY strip inspired by the popular DILBERT. Rather than wickedly droll culture commentary on the office politic, DILDOBERT uncovers the vast yawning conspiracy of empty souls racing to the bottom for a quick fix for a fucking life made only a little tolerable by a bouillabaise of narcotics, deviant sexual practice, criminality, violence & pornography.
IN FRIDAY'S STRIP? THEY ALL EAT WALLY'S CRAP. FOR FUN!!!
ENJOY!!!
"I DON' NEED NO LITHIUM!!! AGGGHHHHH...COUCH!!! COUCH!!! MY KINGSLEY FOR A COUCH!!!" SAYS TOM CRUISE IN A RECENT SPEECH TO THE OLEANDER BUSHES IN FRONT OF MARGOT KIDDER'S HOUSE.
"HAHAHA...I THINK HOMOSEXUALS HAVE SEX LIKE THIS....." TOM'S USUAL TOMFOOLERY IS HIT WITH FAT, BLACK PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Staunchly Heterosexual Non-Homosexual TOM CRUISE is attacking those who prescribe psychiatric drugs again in the May issue of men's style magazine GQ. The actor, who embarked on a loony anti-loony drug tirade in TV interviews last summer while vacationing in Key West on behalf of his Scientology beliefs, has launched a fresh attack on psychiatry, calling for prescription pill poppers to think carefully about the harms they're doing to their bodies.
He tells the magazine, "I've always found the 'if it makes me feel better, it's OK' rationale a little suspect. Unless we're talking about sexual things, um, undertaken betwixt like-minded, um, you know guys. Well I mean the generic 'guys.' I mean I could have said 'guys' and 'gals' but everyone knew I meant 'gals' so why don't we just leave it fucking at that OK?" He said pursing his lips and snapping his fingers. And shit.
"Anyways I think it's appalling that people have to live a life of drug addiction when I have personally helped people get off drugs." In the interview, the actor claims he can get someone off heroin in three days through Scientology's detox programs of backrubbing, beach volleyball and mai-tai's.
GUY RITCHIE, HIS CAREER IN TATTERS, HIS SOUL HARROWED & HIS SELF-ESTEEM TORN LIKE SO MANY MUCUS-FILLED TISSUES MAKES A PLAY FOR FREEDOM. AND FAILS. AGAIN.
"GODDAMNED RIGHT IT'S NAILED ON!" MADONNA EXPLAINING THE TRUE NATURE OF HER "EVERLASTING" APPEAL.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- MADONNA and her filmmaker husband GUY RITCHIE have vowed to put their marital troubles behind them for the sake of their son Rocco, 5, and the pop superstar's daughter Lourdes, 9. And the Mexican gardener Pepi, 58, the pool boy Donovan, 23, and both the gardener and the pool boy together.
The couple have left their London home for a stay in Los Angeles, where they want to spend some quality time together as a family. Because nothing says "quality time" like "Los Angeles."
Snatch director Ritchie's father John Ritchie tells UK magazine Closer, "It's the children that will keep them together. The children are everything to them. The children and the Nannies that care for those children."
"LA seems to have helped them. Like it's helped many other multimillionaires. Look, it's easier out there because there is less pressure. To succeed. And shit. They seem to have left the bumps they were having over here behind them. Right on the kitchen table."
When it was explained to him that "bump" was American slang for a dose of cocaine, also known as a line or a "rail," Ritchie said "yes."
LET ME TELL YA 'BOUT WHITE BITCHES. A SALVATORE SALVO.
"OH, YOU MEDITERRANEAN NIGRAS ARE ALLLLLLL ALIKE....." SAYS EVE, SAL'S LAST & FINAL SAN FRANCISCO WHITE BROAD.
Open letter to all white women in San Francisco:
I don’t like you either.
I have come to a bit of a realization as of late. White women feel I am not white enough. Being a full- blooded “ethnic looking” southern Italian, evidently my claim at whiteness is tenuous at best. Robert De Niro and Al Pacino have grown old and are no longer relevant and Joe Pesci, like a bad one liner or a bubble gum Pop song, has just run his course.
What we are left with are guys like Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, in all their waspy glory blowing each other in the back of a tent. Shows like the Soprano’s, featuring every character at least 70 pounds overweight, have done the ultimate disservice to the Italian male. Everyone of these dirty blonde-headed retards is under the assumption that we killed Adrianna last season. Listen you idiots, Silvio did it, and what’s more is, it's just TV. You know, fake?
This is the other kicker: not only am I not white enough, evidently I am not black enough either. Had I been black than maybe these phony pretentious white bitches could show me off to their pseudo-progressive white friends from Larkspur and say, “look girls, I got some street cred.” Yeah, way to go Tupac, raise that fist high. I am quite sure that once the novelty wears off on your friends you will go back to Jake and Heath in the tent with their flowing blonde locks and their hands down the back of one another’s Wranglers.
I am not completely out of the game however, here is the plan: I will now claim to be Palestinian...
Claiming to be a Palestinian will allow me to retain my Christian identity, 6 % of all Palestinians are Christians, as well as, now here is the important part, make me part of a displaced people that have wandered from refugee camp to refugee camp since the creation of Israel in 1948. The best part is… no one will be able to tell the difference. I will even go so far as to change my name! Finally being a swarthy looking Mediterranean type will do something for me other than get me stopped at the airport.
Bitches.
ANGELINA JOLIE ANGRY WITH RICH, UN-ADOPTABLE NIGRAS AND WHITE BITCHES. OR, RATHER, BITCH. OR JENNIFER ANISTON. NO ONE ELSE CARES IN THE FUCKING SLIGHTEST.
"IF IT AIN'T BLACK, IT'S GOT TO GO BACK," SAYS A CLEARLY IRKED NEGRO EXPERT ANGELINA JOLIE.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- ANGELINA JOLIE has reportedly accused JENNIFER ANISTON of using an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show last September to turn the public against her nigra-loving ways and those of Aniston's former husband BRAD PITT.
Jolie's close pal Tonya Hart is quoted in British magazine Star saying the actress was enraged by Aniston's anti-nigra tirades, claiming she was "milking" her split with Pitt, her inability to adopt nigras herself, and the public's gullibility in believing that anti-nigra-adoption is a noble cause.
And the movie beauty even cut ties with rich Nigra Winfrey herself, when the talk show hostess then tried to invite her on the show. Tonya claims Jolie said, "Oh my God, it makes me want to throw up! She shot her mouth off and Oprah took it all in. The audience took it all in. They were all against Brad and me from that moment on. She wanted people to feel sorry for her that her marriage was down the pan. Brad and I couldn't defend ourselves. Or even adopt nigras then we felt so bad."
Tonya adds, "Ange told Oprah she was extremely upset with her and wanted nothing to do with the show, even though Oprah reportedly said, 'Don't bear a grudge against me because I am too rich to adopt.'"
