BUT first the SKULLGAME PERSONAL OF THE MONTH: Woman 4 MMMMMMMM
WE, OF COURSE, RESPONDED EXPRESSLY TO RECEIVE HER PHOTO. PRESENTED HERE FOR YOUR CONFUSED AMUSEMENT.
"38-year-old housewife seeking a little excitement and a scenario that runs thusly. You (any age, any race) meet my husband in the hotel parking lot. He brings all 8 of you to our room. You all fuck me all at once, take turns fucking me, beat me up, piss in my mouth, cum on my face, spit on me, fuck my ass and my pussy at the same time, verbally abuse me, treat me like a pig for as long as you can keep it up.
One last thing: NO MARRIED MEN cuz I just don't play that.
Email a photo of your cock to missjoykitty@yahoo.com"
BILLY BOB THORNTON REPORTEDLY “GIVES NOT A FUCK” THAT EX-EFFEXOR CASE OF HOMEBITCH ADOPTS A SKINNY IN GROTESQUE CASE OF ETHICAL EGOISM.
"I AM A MULTIMILLIONAIRE. NOW GIVE ME YOUR PICKANINNIES!!!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BILLY BOB THORNTON, certified pimp motherfucker and SkullGame enthusiast, told reporters Tuesday afternoon that he “couldn’t give half a fuck about what a bitch does with his alimony payment after she’s already huffed down Brad Pitt’s dong and fucked her own brother”—adding, “dry-humping HALLE BERRY was a hell of a better way to spend a day than counting ANGELINA's meds and tying her to the goddamn water heater for days on end.”
Jolie, who adopted the orphaned Zahara Marley last month, could not be reached for comment as she was supposedly too busy reading Ayn Rand and justifying her own filthy rich existence by answering Feed The Children junk mail in some futile attempt to make the upper 1% look like it gives a shit about the bottom 99.
“I’m not even going to act like I care about what’s going on in Sub-Saharan Africa, what with all the pussy, drugs, and royalty checks I’m swimming in day after day,” Thornton remarked from his southern California mansion that is decorated with the hides of former charity cases. “Angelina is a little more deluded; she thinks that if she takes some spare change every week and buys these kids graham crackers that somebody, somewhere, will actually go watch that piece of shit movie she just did with her new faggot of a boyfriend. Me? I’m a bit more of a realist.” To which he then slipped in a DVD of Ducktales and proceeded to laugh maniacally.
When asked to comment on Jolie’s new tabloid love interest, Thornton said “She only gives head for the first 6 weeks or so anyhow, just like the rest of those whores, and then it’s all about talking and shit. I think he’ll do fine, seeing as how he’s half-a-homo anyhow. I mean, if you can put up with somebody who used to be on Friends for years and years then I’m sure you are enough of a pussy to deal with Angelina’s charade.”
“Rail?”
WHEN BEING STUPID ISN'T ENOUGH: BRAD PITT. & HIS LOAD. & ANGELINA JOLIE'S CHIN.
ANGELINA: "ARE THE NEGROES OVER THERE?" BRAD: "UM, I, UM, WELL, UM.......LOADS?"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Hollywood beauty, billionaire and savior of the western world ANGELINA JOLIE is tightening her belt these days in solidarity with the poor and disenfranchised of sub-Saharan Africa by taking her Man Friday BRAD PITT for a pleasure ride aboard a private jet Tuesday, where they could look down on everyone, in the face of increased speculation that he was planning on dropping a load on her chin to draw attention to the plight of those who will go to bed hungry tonight. Like Donald Trump.
"I'm, um, hoping to, um," said a visibly relieved Pitt after a nod from the bespackled Jolie, "to..... ........loads?" With Jolie nodding in the affirmative she also pointed out that if everyone adopted a Negro toy, the world would be like the She-God had intended it to be: "With love for those less fortunate than me. Like Donald Trump."
TODD ATKINS MEETS THE HOLLYWOOD CROWD; LOADS FIRST.
A VIDEO GAME THEY'RE CREATING AROUND MY BOOK OF LESSONS.
Many of you have probably read some of my fight stories on the internet before. Most of these have dealt with street brawls I've been in. I'd like to focus on a different type of fighting experience I had. I'm referring to the year I was a cooler at the largest strip club in Venice, California.
My reputation as a fighter in Venice is very well known. I'm like a Mike Tyson of the streets. I'm known for being able to end a fight very quickly. Certain mafia types and gangs have tried to recruit me, but I decided to try and keep my nose clean. I decided a legal way I could fight and get paid for it was to be a bouncer.
I was hired by the strip club in San Luis right away based on my local reputation. I had some conditions though. I had to be head bouncer and the other bouncers answered to me. The club agreed to it and I told the other bouncers that if they had a problem with the arrangement: Anyone who could kick my ass could have my job. Over the year I ended up working there, no one ever challenged me.
I could see early on that the club was a little out of control. The customers were manhandling the dancers too much and there was way too much drunken rowdiness. I decided to make my presence felt the first night. This group of Puerto Rican types was getting boisterous and loud and disrespectful to the girls. I told them to stop or they were out. About 5 minutes later I had the other bouncers escort them out. This one guy was acting like he was a Latin King or something. He was making noise that he would kick my ass if went outside. Normally I would let that stuff pass, but like I said this was my first day. I went outside and confronted him in front of his "homeboy's".
"Do you you the meaning of the word respect?" I said.
"Do I know the meaning of the word respect?" he repeated, laughing.
Right then I slapped him hard in the face. "Now you do," I said. The crowd outside reacted loudly. He started cursing me but he wouldn't make a move. "I guess you're not going to kick my ass," I said. He made some threats about how he was going to come back, but he never did. Right then I had served notice at the club - there was a new sheriff in town.
My rule is I will tell you something once, not twice. The problem is that there's power in numbers. Someone who wouldn't fuck with you individually will challenge you when he has some buddies with him. One night there was these four young tv actor/rap bling type guys getting way too physical with the girls. When I told them to stop and they basically laughed and kept on doing it. I took the loudest one, who was one of those Allen Iverson, corn-row wearing, bad attitude types, and I grabbed him out of his seat. Then all the faggot dudes wanted to brawl. I took the one I had in my hands and put an armlock on him and slammed his head off the table and he was out cold. I dropped another one by smashing a beer mug in his face. With the help of the other bouncers they were all thrown out of the club in less than a minute, all of them screaming in agony.
When I got back in there a friend of the boss was sitting there joking and said, "I know who you are, you mean bouncer motherfucker." He didn't know it, but I had a stun baton hiding in the back of my pants. I pulled it out and zapped him on the forehead and took his drink. Like Sun Tzu said, fights are won before they're ever fought. And he had clearly had enough. -- Lt. Todd Atkins (TM)
BEING LIKE MIKE TAKING ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING. WELL I MEAN NOT FOR US, BUT FOR THE REST OF YOUSE.
JENNA JAMESON, MY STYLE IS IMPETUOUS, MY LOADS IMPREGNABLE, I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN WHILE YOU EAT MY CHOAD!!!
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY (SkullGame) -- MIKE TYSON is reportedly set to star in a porn film - with JENNA JAMESON.
The former boxing World Heavyweight Champion claims he is desperate for cash, after being hit with a tax bill for several million dollars, and a porn career is a tempting offer. The disgraced pugilist, who retired from boxing last month, was approached by Jenna's representatives to star as her partner in the X-rated movie.
He is quoted by Britain's Zoo magazine as saying: "I just talked to a gentleman called Jimmy who's involved with Jenna Jameson. They said they were interested in getting me involved in the adult film industry."
"I need the money up front."
Meanwhile, American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez believes Tyson, who was jailed for six years in 1992 on rape charges, would triumph in the sex industry - with his alleged 14-inch manhood.
He explained: "According to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14-in. long. "If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star."
[You waiting for a punchline? You gotta be kidding right? -- Editors]
