Because we are blessed with good looks, talent, and balls like Buicks, we decided that it was time to make good on the adage "to whom much is given, much is forgiven."

And so we formed a charitable giving organization, heretoforistically known as TEAMING UP FOR GODDAMNED AMERICA. Please read on and be inspired by our example. -- THE EDITORS, MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME

HOW SKULLGAME IS...HELPING...THOSE MUCH LESS FORTUNATE

CAN YOU HELP ME SKULLGAME?

SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- In a shocking move designed to confound supporters and detractors alike, the operators of MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME, known more for generalized ridicule and non-specific abuse than for giving a fuck about anything, formed a majorly endowed charitable organization today.

"We just got tired of sitting around and watching no one doing anything about it," said SkullGame's VINNIE ROSE. "With TEAMING UP FOR GODDAMNED AMERICA whether you need a nice warm winter coat. Or a meal (quesadilla). Or just a shoulder to lean on, you will find it in abundance here. All of those things. In spades.

Along with a Double Teaming."

YOU BET WE CAN!!!

When pressed, the phlegmatic Rose explained, "for too long women without means to support themselves wondered where the next meal was coming from and if they would even have a place to live. Now they wonder no more because they know they can come, any hour of the day and night, to SKULLGAME HOUSE and get the quiet understanding, and Double Teaming, that they need for as long as they need it provided that they don't need it too far beyond the actual extraction of semen. Need to use a washing machine? Fine. Use it. While getting Double Teamed. Need some help filling out tax forms? Beautiful. We will Double Team you while you wait. Because, very simply, no one else is."

THANK YOU SKULLGAME!!!!!

No. Thank YOU.

A SKULLGAME EXCLUSIVE: NAOMI CAMPBELL

WOO HOOO!!! SHIT. IS IT CHILLY IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?!?!

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Through connections too byzantine to go into here, SkullGame managed a get of epic proportions: Supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL who recently shocked the world with a stunning drug confession. Though photographed several thousand times leaving Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings in Los Angeles, the screaming, shrieking and throwing fruit at her fruity stylists-Campbell won $6,300 damages at London's High Court in 2002 against a newspaper for invasion of privacy.

The rude SuperBitch however DID admit to battling an addiction to alcohol and has experimented with drugs and it was at this meeting in LA that our own ANIMAL THUG managed to corral her for a quick bit.

SkullGame: So you say you mostly likeded the liquor?

Naomi Campbell: Hey, once an alcoholic addict, always an alcoholic addict.

SG: Good you show up at an NA meeting then.

NC: OK. LOOK: I took my first drug at 24 years old.

SG: And it was?

NC: Something that doesn't concern you....

SG: Oooo Kay. I'll just mark that down as CRACK.

"YEAHHH, NIGGA....WHATEVER...."

NC: No. What? Wait. OK. Look, I did a drug, OK, a speedy drug.

SG: What was it? The pressures of stardom? Or the...

NC: No. No one forced me to do it, I did it because I wanted to. I don't have any blame for anyone but myself.

SG: Oooo Kay. I'll just mark that down as WHITNEY HOUSTON.

NC: What? No. She had nothing...

SG: Ta ta.

NC: Arghhh...

SG: Uh oh. She must be HIGH again... Run....Run....

SKULLGAME KID'S CORNER: MY GLITTERING SPOON

WITH A MARSHMELLOWED (NOT-SO-MUCH OF A) SURPRISE

My Glistening Spoon by SKULLGAME Contributor Naomi C.

I made a friend at lunch that day
my soup was not okay
I ate it anyway
with my glistening spoon.

I looked in the bowl as God intended
my face was there, suspended
in front of my world upended
in my glistening spoon.

I took it out at night
the spinning sky of light
the moon so melting bright
all came into view
in my glistening spoon.

I took it in the shower
I saw my peachy flower
I stayed there for an hour
with my glistening spoon.

Down on the floor
then under the door
I spied weird Mr. Moore
strangle a snaggle-toothed whore
he dumped her behind the store
I saw it all
reflected in my glistening spoon.

Old Mrs. Horner
I peeked around the corner
I couldn't even warn her
she got her throat slit by some foreigner
while I hid with my glistening spoon.

I cooked a rock and some tar
my mind wandered away very far
it made me feel like a star
in my glistening spoon.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY: MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME, THE HIGHLY LLC

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