SkullGame, believe or not, is a family. A warm, loving, sexually offending, back biting community of felons, professional liars and narco-lunatics, but a family nonetheless. That is, a lose confederacy of expert haters who hate so thoroughly that they are hard-pressed to do anything else. Except when the opportunity presents itself. An opportunity like this: a letter from MR. BRAD PRICE threatening our favorite band OXBOW.
"HI. MY NAME IS BRAD PRICE. I LIKE LONG WALKS IN THE PARKING LOT TO & FROM THE FRONT SEATS OF TRAVELERS CARS. AND LAPS. AND POETRY. AND PENISES. AND HEAVY METAL MUSIC. DID I ALREADY MENTION THE PENISES?"
"ok now i'm confused. are you trying to be evil or rape men. your a talentless band. the vocals suck dicks. write some better lyrics you stupid mother fucker. stop humping trees and join the real metal world. pentagrams on your arms don't make you evil you stupid nigger fagg. its not music its a foul noise which pierces my well trained ears. your dvd is a waste of time, and i will go to your show and challange you to a fistfight. i hope they string you up in a tree oxbow. get a fucking clue on making music. stop charging people money to waste their fucking time. pick on somebody your own size. youre degree is a fraud. you only think your smart, but people are affraid of you so they don't tell you the truth. i'm not affraid. if you play near me i will jump on stage and hump your head you fucking waste of life. you should have been aborted. your mother is a cunt for acually having you. i wan to fuck your girlfriend in the ass with a big white cock. i smell nigger woogie boogie nigger. wanna talk shit back or meet for a fight email me. it is a real email as well. its ihateoxbowkillhim@yahoo.com and only if your not affraid bitch should you contact me"
MR. BRAD PRICE is a very tough man who has requested that we write him. Probably very specifically RAYMOND J. JUSTIN JONES JR. THE GODDAMNED 3RD who lives right there near HIGH POINT.
As is usual with this SkullGame we will write him. A lot. About his soon-to-be upcoming bout of extreme anal activity.
baprice14@hotmail.com
PARIS HILTON EMBRACING THE INEVITABLE
"HERE I AM SETTLING DOWN. OH, OOPS, NOW I'M UP AGAIN. OOPS. NOW DOWN. NOW UP. NOW..."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- NEWLY ENGAGED ho of horror, hotel socialite, and mattress-backed dong duker PARIS HILTON is "planning" to "give up" the "public life" of appearing in grainy digicam porn for pay for family life in just two years. The 24-year-old bubblehead-turned-reality TV star insists she'll be ready to truly "settle down" to single sausage living and be a good wife to Greek fiance and anal fanatic PARIS LATSIS and their children when she turns 26.
She tells Newsweek magazine, "I 'thought' it was 'cute' to 'play' a 'dumb' 'blonde'. On TV, I do it because it's 'funny'. I consider myself a 'businesswoman' and a brand. And a fellatrix of the grandest sausage-loving order. But I don't enjoy going out anymore. It's such a pain. It's everyone saying, 'Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?' I'm just, like, 'These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love doing this almost as much as I liked being famous for knowing my way around the business end of a cock. You know, the end with the squirties?' I am definitely ready to settle down to some good ol' home cooking and aggressive ass fucking. On camera."
EX-LAKERS' COACH PHIL JACKSON NOW LAKERS' COACH; JACKSON COULDN'T LEAVE HIS FRIENDS' BEHINDS; REUNITES WITH KOBE "ASS-ASS-IN" BRYANT
KATELYN FABER, WHOSE ASS IS STILL HURTING AFTER HER LAST HOTEL RENDEVOUS WITH KOBE BRYANT SAID OF THE NBA REUNION, "THIS CAN ONLY BE GOOD FOR THE LEAGUE."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Buddhist PHIL JACKSON is back with the Los Angeles Lakers following a breakup that took a year to mend, and back to coaching KOBE "ASS BANDIT" BRYANT -- a player he once called "uncoachable,'' what on account of his penchant for "aggressive anal activity" and his unwillingness to not throw his teammates under the bus for likesuch "anal activity of the aggressive kind."
"This is something I never thought could possibly happen,'' Jackson said Tuesday at a Staples Center news conference. "Based largely on my concern for the asses of America. I guess I'm saying: 'It's a pleasure to come back.'''
Bryant released a statement through his agent Tuesday. "When the Lakers began the search for a new head coach, I put my complete trust in Dr. Buss and (general manager) Mitch Kupchak to select the person they thought was best for the Lakers' organization,'' Bryant said. "In Phil Jackson, they chose a proven winner. That is something I support. I also support white women, their asses, their asses bent over hotel room chairs, and the repeated introduction of cock, specifically mine, INTO those asses, but y'all knew that part already.''
