AND SO IT GOES THAT EVERYTHING FALLS DOWN LIKE WALLS OF WET SAND
I CRY BIG OL' TEARS OF SORROW AT...WAIT...THESE AREN'T TEARS. OH, NEVERMIND...
Our compatriots d'porn bite the dust, or want to, one after another: the lovely and lascivious CARLY from PORNBLOGRAPHY, she formerly of Pure Play fame, formerly of AVN note and editrix of a stunningly generous blog abandoning San Fernando Valley for some high ground not awash in spooge backed with SCOTT FAYNER, he of LUKE FORD, attempting to sell his deal this a'here away.
Why?
"Well if you were in the biz for under 5 years you can always claim you were doing research. Any longer than that and well..."
Whatever. If you can't stand the coconut get out of the fucking oil. Hasta La Vista, baby.
PERUVIAN WHORE FORGETTING AN ESSENTIAL TENET OF GOOD WHORING: GETTING PAID
BREAK TIME AT ARBYS: I WILL NOT CRACK MY ACTION FOR ANY AMOUNT OF FUCKING NUTTY MONEY, MY...MY...SELF RESPECT? IS WORTH MORE THAN 1.5 MIL?
LIMA the land of ASSHOLES (SkullGame) --Graciela - or Gracia as she prefers to be known - has been working since the age of eight, left school at 15 and now three years later earns around $60 a month "acting" or "modelling". Her "mother" is too sick to work. But Gracia says the money she earns is "not enough". Theirs is a story like thousands of other Peruvians, but for one fact: Last month, Gracia decided to "sell" "her" "virginity" to improve her "family's" "quality of life".
She said she offered to sell her virginity to the highest bidder, advertising herself in newspapers, on television and the internet. A Canadian man finally offered her $1.5m and some Chiclets to have sex with her. "He said he'd prefer I didn't do it, but if I was going to do it with anyone, it should be with someone who still lives with his mom, is about 45 pounds overweight and would treat me right like the lady who sells her pussy for money that I am. Well, that and the fact that I think he thought he could pay in money xeroxed at Kinkos. He was really happy when I said No."
$1.5 MILLION FUCKING SIMOLIANS LATER....
NO!?!?! NO?!?!?
Look, the only thing more insane than valuing quim at over a mil is turning down that valuation of quim for over a million. THANK YOU POPE JOHN PAUL JONES THE 2ND. Not only did you DIE and leave us with that naughty NAZI RATZI, you got Peruistas people talking all crazy about pussy because almost a month after Gracia advertised her virginity for sale, her economic situation has not changed.
But her moral situation has. She says she has decided not to give up her virginity for any price.
Thanks for nothing.
Pathetic.
PARIS HILTON, HAVING NO QUALMS ABOUT QUIM FOR CASH, DOUBLES UP IN DESPERATE BID TO BITE MORE THAN HER FAIR AND CONTINUING SHARE OF SAUSAGE
I THINK I CAN PARLAY THIS ONE INTO A DOUBLE NUT!!! VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!!!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Socialite Sluttette PARIS HILTON admits her relationship with Greek shipping heir PARIS LATSIS has turned serious...what with him not being so into using her choppers as a cock cozy, instead preferring, in the traditon of his homeland, to tool for anus.
The hotel heiress has remained, uncharacteristically, tight-lipped about her four-month romance so far, following her high-profile split with NICK CARTER last year, but she can no longer resist removing whatever random rod has been housed by her gums and heaping gushing praise on her new man.
"I love the fact that when I go off to work with sausage he will be waiting at home for me not unlike my dog. He is one heck of a cook."
And apparently a fag, as well.
Good luck with all of that.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. ON GETTING HIGH: AND STAYING HIGH
OBVIOUSLY
LONDON (SkullGame) -- Actor ROBERT DOWNEY JR. left presenter Lorraine Kelly lost for words today by telling her: "Your goddamned TITS look great!" The former Hollywood hophead had daytime viewers choking on their cornflakes when he made the remark on ITV1 show This Morning. Kelly, wearing an orange cardigan and black camisole stretched tight over her tit tonnage, was hosting the show in place of Fern Britton.
She welcomed Downey Jr to the show by telling him: "You look fantastic, you look really well." The 40-year-old actor replied: "Thanks. I was going to say that your goddamned TITS look good enough to blow a load on!"
A clearly shocked Kelly, 45, said "Thank you, that's nice," as Downey Jr added: "Particularly today of all load-blowing days."
Kelly managed to say: "Oh good, well I'm glad I made you happy." Gazing down at her cleavage and adjusting her top, she said: "I didn't realize they were so out."
Kelly's co-host Jeremy Kyle, stepped in to change the subject by saying: "Let's move swiftly on."
An embarrassed Kelly agreed: "I think we should."
An emboldened Downey ask: "Drop a load on your rack?"
A surprised Kelly continued: "What?"
And in a lightning round of righteous reasoning Downey added: : "Hunh?"
Genius.
SKULLGAME'S NFL DRAFT PICK PIECE EXCORIATED BY A RIGHTEOUSLY INDIGNANT TERRELL OWENS AWASH IN HOMO PRIDE BUT DISGUISED AS ORAL TOWENS IN PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO CONCEAL THE SAME
"NO MA'AM I'M AFRAID IT ISN'T JUST THE SAME": OWENS AVOIDING YET ANOTHER PAINFULLY UNCOMFORTABLE HETEROSEXUAL ENCOUNTER
PHILADELPHIA (SkullGame) -- TERRELL OWENS, recently sent us the following email protesting our NFL DRAFT PICK piece:
"go suck a dick you red neck piece of shit, if you don't like black people and feel the need to refer to them as monkey's or "negro-themed" then stop reviewing them you jack ass its that simple..Duh! Also, leave the jews out of it..just because your some tard doesn't give you the right to rag on others. I'd rather you burned in flames you fudge packer" -- ORAL TOWENS
Sad. Very, very sad.
AN OPEN LETTER TO LUKE FORD'S SCOTT FAYNER....
SKULLGAME WILL BUY YOU!!!
NEGOTIATING, SKULLGAME STYLE
...jesus...first Carly then you?!?! well, UNDERSTOOD....it is only now that I realize what kind of a man MacDonell was for staying at it for 19 years: a stupid man. In any case, we are also stupid. So stupid that we
1) have repeatedly challenged Aaron Brink to a fight for the title of toughest man in porn only to have him run like the proverbial scared coward. but at 6'2" 220 pounds I think we got a chance.
2) we will buy LukeFord
and
3) we will shoot anyone who interferes in either of the above transactions.
These are things I know to be true.
ciao,
Vinnie Rose
www.skullgame.com
