DON'T SAY WE NEVER GAVE YOU NUTHIN'
NOW FEEL FREE TO JERK OFF WITH RELATIVE IMPUNITY. IN THE MIDDLE OF CIRCUIT CITY IF NEEDS BE. TELL THEM WE SENT YOU.
SLUTS OF A FEATHER SUCK SAUSAGE TOGETHER. WELCOME TO THE PARIS & KIM SHOW
THE SLUTS IN QUESTION MINUS THEIR UBIQUITOUS IN-MOUTH SAUSAGES.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- PARIS HILTON's "best" "friend" KIM KARDASHIAN, the daughter of the Murderer-Getter-Offer, ARMENIAN and OJ SIMPSON attorney ROBERT KARDASHIAN, is so furious with former Negro boyfriend Ray J, brother of murdering Negress BRANDY for releasing a sex tape they made together for a $300,000 advance, with the express purpose of never releasing it to SkullGame, she had him thrown out, after thoroughly massaging his "gentles" of a party she was hosting on Saturday night in revenge.
Kardashian was hosting a pre-Grammy Awards bash at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles when Ray J showed up driving a brand-new $300,000 Lamborghini convertible. A source tells Us Weekly Kardashian hid in a poolside cabana, clutching as much cock as she could get her hands on, saying, "She refused to come out until he left...her 8 percent of the gross. She demanded security remove him, and they did."
Vivid co-chairman, Steven Hirsch says . "It has over 30-minutes of explicit sex that fans of erotica will find very appealing featuring two young and glamorous high profile celebrities who I have just paid $1 million to." Hirsch explains that they obtained the video from a third party, but would not identify the person except to say, "It rhymes with BRANDY LEGAL DEFENSE FUND FOR MURDERING BLACK BROADS." The video, titled KIM KARDASHIAN SUPERSTAR, is rumored to include various sexual acts, including oral sex and "co-ed urinating."
Perfect.
AND FROM EARLIER IN THE WEEK....
GRAMMY FAGGOTRY CONTINUES WITH 20TH FAILURE IN A ROW TO RECOGNIZE OXBOW AS BAND MOST LIKELY TO BE GREAT AND STEAL YOUR TV. PLUS: THE ARGENTINE'S BACK! WITH AN ANNA "BUBBLEHEAD" NICOLE SMITH POEM OF PENIS & ELLE MACPHERSON NEEDS COCK!
THIS Grammy-edition of SkullGame is being brought to you by NIGS&HEBREWS Inc...for those times when you want your woman fucked & your wallet stolen: NIGS&HEBREWS get the job DONE.
"WHY JUST THIS MONTH WE'VE HAD ALL OF OUR WOMAN FUCKING & WALLET STEALING HANDLED PROMPTLY ON THE 1ST & 15TH! THANK YOU, NIGS&HEBREWS! THANK YOU!
PRINCE JERKS OFF AT THE SUPERBOWL? NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY. EUGENE FROM OXBOW JERKS OFF AT THE SUPERMARKET? JAIL, COMMUNITY SERVICE & THE OPPROBRIUM OF PLAYER HATERS EVERYWHERE. A SKULLGAME EXAMINATION OF FUCKING INEQUITY IN ACTION.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF COCK PRINCE HAS. BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS ENOUGH TO GET NOMINATED.
Last Superbowl's halftime show was slightly more interesting than anticipated, given PRINCE's winged backup singer, the pouring rain and his oddly shaped cock and balls guitar. Which he jerked and jerked, vigorously up and down, back and forth, in and out, in a possibly fruitless effort to get us to forget that he was wearing high heels, lipstick and eyeliner.
Whether it was good or not depends on whether you are a Prince fan. Or a fan of cock and balls. And high heels and makeup. On a man. If you are, you might also enjoy the chance to get in on the bidding for the black bandanna/scarf that he wore on his head during the show, which is up for sale on eBay. The major selling point? "It even still smells like hairspray and sweat." It is hard to say whether it will be worth anything in the long run, but bidding is up to $350 so far.
In a related note: EUGENE from OXBOW has the sock he jerked off in the last 5 times, today, on sale now. Bidding will start at "please never mention this to me again."
"MY NAME'S THE ARGENTINE. AND THIS IS MY POEM OF LOVE. AND PENISES. FOR ANNA NICOLE SMITH. MY BLOODY, BLOODY, BUBBLEHEADED VALENTINE."
"AND I'LL BE LIKE ALL, 'HOW DO YOU LIKE THESE TITS GOD!!!' AND GOD'LL BE LIKE ALL..."
YEAH. SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS. BUT FOREVER.
JUST A LITTLE BLOOD IN THE STOMACH
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
how could she
that big Texas whore of all whores
so still and yet so ready
still
to give or take and
so willing to be raped
oh, oh and oh
I miss her so
Valkyrie, your sting
and bee stung drugged
and fucked
stupid beyond my reckoning
and dead before my fucking you
'aspired to be her generation's Marilyn'
the television said…
ah, ha, ha, ha!
oh,
even dead Joe would have known better, so
she
dressed in burgundy but not the blood
of my knuckles across the tiled hotel floor
and oh, oh, I miss you so
Anna,
Anna,
Anna
and I…
ELLE MACPHERSON NEEDS COCK. AND SHE CERTAINLY CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
"NO MATTER WHERE I LOOK--AT PHOTO SHOOTS, MODELING AGENCIES, KEY WEST, SAN FRANCISCO, MYKONOS--I CAN'T FIND ANY MEN WHO WANT TO FUCK ME. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Supermodel ELLE MACPHERSON is desperate for a man in her life, but is struggling to find ANYONE who will go out on a date with a rich, hot bitch without a penis. Mostly on account of her surrounding herself at every turn in the road with faggots.
The Australian beauty, who is nicknamed The Body, has been without cock for two years, and is still cockless despite attempting to chat up guys in chaps, with handlebar mustaches, or purses, in a bid to get a date.
She moans, "I just don't get men hitting on me. It's crazy -- but apart from a brief romantic intermission where I rode the cock like it was the last cock I was ever going to ride last summer, which it may well be, I have been cockless and without cock for two years. How boring is that?
"I'm a hopeless flirt. And a slut. And I'll go up to a guy and say, 'I think you are so beautiful,' but it doesn't work."
Mostly on account of you consistently hitting on homos.
Here's a suggestion: vinnie@skullgame.com
Your life will never be the same.
