But first this SkullGame Devotional: "Dear Baby, Jesus...If you could, would you please see your way clear to making it so that this EVA HERZIGOVA slut..."
OOOOOPENINNN' W-I-D-E FOR SOMETHING ITALIAN....
"...who we imagine to be like the queen of all the supermodel sluts, could you, please, Baby Jesus see your way clear to letting us throw her one or 10 quick screws before this ho fucking dies?"
THANK YOU BABY JESUS. THANK YOU
AN ITALIAN SAL MOTHER'S DAY COUNTERPOINT: AN OPEN LETTER TO AMERICAN FATHERS
"HEY BABY...OUR NAMES ARE ALKY PAPADATOS. YES, BOTH OF THEM."
All American Fathers of 18 to 21 year old girls heed this warning: Beware all Italians, Greeks and Turks. Even some Albanians and Armenians too. These guys will lie to your daughters in order to get in their pants. They only think about anal sex and fancy espresso drinks so please be wary. They will inevitably try and hypnotize them with their loud jewelry and clothing and then will invariably mystify them with their uncanny ability to wear satin shirts open to their navel and silk see-through socks. In the event that your daughter brings home a short dark skin fellow with a mustache and big hairy hands call the police immediately.
Palestinians and Israelis are relatively safe in this respect since no doubt they will be involved in lengthy discussions on whether or not Hagar was married to Abraham, as well as opening Electronic Stores in high tourist areas where they will sell shoddy camcorders and digital cameras for a “special price.”
Thank you very much.
ZEE VORLD ACCORDING TO HEINRICH: A GEOPOLITICAL QUASI HOMO ACADEMIC STUDY OF SIZE & WHETHER OR NOT IT REALLY MATTERS
"IT MOST CERTAINLY DOES" SAYS HEINIE (IN ARTIST RENDITION PICTURED HERE), AS HE IS AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN BY "HIS" "MALE" "FRIEND" FRITZ
Jah, vell, many of you are probably thinking I’m going to say “JAH, bigger is always zee better.” Like with Mercedes Benz – vould you rather drive an 600 SEL, zee most beautiful and luxurious of all fine German autos, zee Schwarzenegger of cars if you will, or vould you vant to drive a 190 E - zee Lenny Kravitz? Zee answer is pretty simple, jah.
But vhen putting zat same question along zee racial lines, a subject zat I rarely touch on, is bigger truly zee better? Now, I know zat I say zee black penis is superior in taming zee disgusting fat, chicken eating, chicken smelling, black swine in zee black nature videos SkullGame gives me to review, but does zat mean zat bigger penis’ are zee answer for vorld domination? Vell, usually I’d answer zat with a big SEIG HEIL. But right now, I’m reconsidering my answer. Follow me on dis vone.
Here vee have a picture of your typical African...
AND THE WHITE WOMEN WOULD BE WHERE, EXACTLY?
...taking a walk on a sunny afternoon with his enormous wiener snitzel.
Jah, quite a site to see.
And here, vee have your average Chinese penis...
"VELLY FUCKING FUNNY, LO FAN DOY!!! VELLY FUCKING FUNNY," SCREAMS AN IRATE ENSENG HO IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO MAKING A PEE PEE IN YOUR COKE.
...now zee University of Hamburg did a study that showed that out of two billion Chinese, zee average length of zheir penises is 4 centimeters (1.57 inches). Not very impressive.
However, despite zheir massive slongs, vhy can’t blacks, not just in Africa, but all over zee vorld, get zheir shit together? AIDS, famine, genocide (my personal favorite) have plagued, and vill continue to plague, zee dark continent for eternity. On zee other hand, China has zee world’s fastest growing economy. Maybe having an enormous slong isn’t all its cracked up to be, jah?
Now you might be asking, vhat about zee Germans? Vhere do they fit into all of dis? Vell, as you all know, Germans have always strove for peaceful co-existence with zheir fellow man and zee subject of vorld domination isn’t even relevant here at zis juncture of time. SEIG HEIL!
JIMMY THE "G" ON THE NIGGARDLY NATURE OF THIRD WORLD PRISONS. OR CAR TRUNKS. OR WHICHEVER
FIRST THINGS FIRST: DO NOT TRUST THIS MEXICAN FUCK. WITH ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY YOUR DRUGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE TELLS YOU HE AIN'T NO COP. OR GAY. ESPECIALLY THE GAY PART.
"I was wondering what happened to me as much as anyone was, when I woke up in the trunk of a stolen AMC diplomat that was bound for a chop shop in Mexico.
Fortunately, I had fallen asleep in there while on a lunch break, with my six pack of Grain Belt, a bag of cheese puffs, some heavily laced blunts, and a couple copies of a well-masturbated on Leg Show. I had left the shop on the pretense of estimating the cost of repairing the rusted out muffler on the old hulk. My buzz, however, got the best of my consciousness, and the spacious trunk offered good accommodations for my usual four hour siesta. These essential supplies got me through the first part of my ordeal. Hygiene, though, was abandoned, as I was trapped with no bathroom. It must have been the unholy stench that got the gangsters to pop me out, rather than leaving me in there to die.
'No pistola, yo fixo su frenos!' I cried upon being discovered, which, I presume, means, 'Don't shoot me, I am a mechanic,' or something like it. Immediately, I was put to work on the most elaborate engine modifications I have ever seen. This was no hot cam installation, a more insidious kind of sleeper was being made in that Mexican garage.
SECONDLY: DO NOT TRUST THESE MEXICAN FUCKS. WITH ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY YOUR DRUGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY TELL YOU THEY AIN'T NO COPS. OR GAY. ESPECIALLY THE GAY PART.
First, six of the eight connecting rods of a large displacement engine are removed, and those pistons are welded to the block. Through a process similar to filling a block prior to boring, a liquid form of the contraband is injected through the spark plug hole, into the (now permanently at BDC) cylinders, which all have their exhaust valves epoxied into a closed position, their stems ground down so as not to interfere with the valvetrain working the remaining two operational cylinders. The intake manifold has the runners to the non-functioning cylinders filled up and sealed, as well. A 460 Ford motor can easily smuggle several kilograms this way, completely undetectable by any means short of total disassembly.
While the strain on the now unbalanced rotating assembly is a risk that must be assumed, the motor
is on its last run - once the drugs are removed, the entire car is junked. Two cylinders seem to lug the motor slightly, but the vibration is hardly noticed on an old jalopy. These cheap 'mules' are responsible for bringing the finest coke and heroin into the U.S.A., at far cheaper markups than if they came on board a ship or plane.
FINALLY: DO NOT TRUST THESE MEXICAN LESBIAN TRUCKER FUCKS. WITH ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY YOUR DRUGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY TELL YOU THEY AIN'T NO COPS. OR GAY. E-S-P-E-C-I-A-L-L-Y THE GAY PART.
Homesick for English speaking whores and snuff-free porn, I snuck back across the border as soon as I could flee my captors. I am sure that I would have been silenced soon, anyway, regardless of how well I could tune a dope-filled motor. In Arizona, I thumbed a ride from a lesbian trucker, who called herself 'Snake'. She must have heard me wrong over the racket of her gear-jamming; when I told her I wanted a ride back to the Metal Wing, she tried to rape me with a strap on dildo made of surgical steel.
I grabbed her by the throat, and bounced her head against the wall of her sleeper cab, until she was senseless. Repressing the urge to leave multiple DNA samples splattered all over her, I left with her wallet, and caught a bus back to SF. It has taken this long for the mental scars to heal."
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL CALMLY DISCUSSES LOSING HIS MVP TO A SOUTH AFRICAN WHITE DUDE FROM CANADA
MIAMI (SkullGame) -- "I have a joke for you," said the Miami center and funny man known for his multiple jackanapes at the expense of CINDY CRAWFORD, BROOK SHIELDS and his TINY PENIS in response to questions about losing this year's MVP to STEVE NASH. "OK, ready. 'Why did the Greek fella leave home?' Give up? OK, OK. Because he didn't like the way he was being REARED! Haha. Get it? OK, OK 'And why did he come back?' Because he couldn't leave his brother's BEHIND. Hahahahaha. I LOVE that joke. Why?"
...OHHHH. NO REASON. SHAQ & RICK FOX IN "HAPPIER" TIMES
