BUT first, and in honor of all of the peaceful Islamic religion's rioting worldwide over a cartoon depiction of the prophet MOHAMMED, we have received word from YASSER ARAFAT from beyond the great beyond that maybe that whole 72 virgin thing promised in Islam to the true believers BY MOHAMMED was not all it's cracked up to be, throwing into the spotlight the possibility that Islam is as full of shit as every one of the other world religions, with the following snapshot gifted to us by a Jew.
AAAGGGGHHHHHH....MY EYES!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!
AND IF THAT WASN'T GAY ENOUGH: A SUPERBOWL STORY OF BROKEBACKIAN PROPORTIONS WHEREIN TWO FAGS CONSPIRE TO FIX A GAME THAT SUBSEQUENTLY FUCKS ME OUT OF FEBRUARY RENT MONEY.
HAPPY NEGRO HISTORY MONTH, BITCHES!!!
DETROIT (SkullGame) -- And we quote: "If you don't cover the goddamned spread you don't get $4000. And not only do you not get the $4000. You don't even get a little bit of anything. Welcome to suckerville. See you next month!!!"
VANITY FAIR IN FAG FIT OF FALSEHOOD PROMISES TITTY, GIVES US THE PHOTO GAY
THEIR VERSION OF NAKED.
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Young movie beauties SCARLET JOHANSSON and KEIRA KNIGHTLEY have "bared" "all" for the annual Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair magazine.
The magazine insists that Johansson, 21, and Knightley, 20, appear "naked" alongside clothed designer Tom Ford in a special shoot by legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz despite the fact that nowhere in evidence is anything load worthy other than tastefully gay shots of sluts covering up whilst our chagrin at having our jerk efforts thusly stymied quickly leads to looking at pictures of former Gucci designer, the satanic Tom Ford, while blaming him and fearing the awesome power of his gay-inducing stare.
Ford explains, "I didn't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable. A lot of women actually, a couple of men, too, wanted to take their clothes off. These are such beautiful people, beautiful women, and who doesn't want to see a bit of them. Well, ME, for one."
In the issue, the sluts appear NEARLY nude in a move that will cause us to scorn the magazine greatly. Tom Ford we leave the fuck alone. But Vanity Fair? A beacon to the gay of heart. For goddamned sure.
NOW THIS IS NAKED!!! THANK YOU KEIRA. THANK YOU!!!
BRITNEY SPEARS DRIVES WITH COCK IN MOUTH. OOPS. WE MEAN SON IN HER LAP.
SPEARS TRYING TO "BOUNCE BACK" AFTER HER PREGNANCY WITH A LIGHT STARBUCKS DOUBLE DOUBLE SHAKEN MOCHA WITH CREAM, CRISCO & BACON GREASE.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BRITNEY SPEARS has hit back after she was criticized for driving with a cock in her mouth. Oops. We mean, her baby son on her lap -- blaming the paparazzi for "stalking" her.
The singer was attacked by child safety campaigners after pictures appeared Monday showing her driving along California's Pacific Coast Highway in her black Lincoln Navigator with a five-inch cock....oops. We mean a five-month-old Sean Preston sitting on her lap.
According to People magazine, Spears had sat the baby on her lap while her bodyguard went into a branch of Starbucks. After the bodyguard returned, photographers began to hassle the singer, so she sped off while still holding a tuggle on her tongue. Oops. We mean, her son.
But Spears has released a statement that reads: "Today I had a horrifying, frightful encounter with the penis. I instinctively took measures to get it out of harm's way. But the penis continued to slip out, needing to be replaced."
"I love my son and would do anything to protect him."
DOUBLESTANDARDS PREVAIL OVER DOUBLETEAMINGS IN JUDGE ROY BEAN'S WAR AGAINST ARCHAIC DOGMATIC RELIGIOUS DOCTRINES: MUSLIMS GLOBALLY CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE PUSSIES WHILE PUSSIES CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE MUSLIMS—ELUDING US EVERY PLACE BUT THE LAUNDROMAT ON 25th AND MISSION.
PALESTINIAN WOMAN AADILA NAAJIDAH VISITS THE MACK AVE. EMBASSY IN HOPES OF GETTING HER “PASSPORT STAMPED” ONLY TO BE LEFT QUESTIONING WHY THE “CONCIERGE SERVICE” ARRIVED FROM BEHIND AND BROUGHT AN EXTRA VEIL.
GAZA STRIP (SkullGame) — After viciously murdering New York City residents, Russian schoolchildren, London commuters, Egyptian tourists, Israeli Olympians, Balinese vacationers, and managing to actively participate in the gross majority of the worlds 100+ currently waged wars: Islamic fundamentalists around the globe are finally “outraged” after a Danish publication printed unflattering cartoons and text that depicted fanatical fundamentalists with terrorist tendencies as being fanatical fundamentalists with terrorist tendencies; as well as subtly hinting that their women oftentimes smell of a gym locker and sport snatches occupied by the not-so-mythical “heebie jeebie”aka Steve Orenstein—closet homosexual and jew-motherfucker of Wicked Pictures and Pity Patent #001 “The Holocaust-all rights reserved” fame.
Dainty men and be-moustached women alike abandoned their taxi cabs and tied their goats to bicycle racks world-wide last weekend to demonstrate against what they claim is a “great offense to Islam”; stopping only to tend to their knuckle hair and their corner liquor stores before returning to hurl rocks at EU buildings and imitate animals mating by, of course, mating with their animals.
“The Indonesian government condemns the printing of the caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad. The insult to religious symbols has hurt the feelings of the Muslim…much more than the "TEAMING UP FOR GODDAMNED AMERICA" campaign hurt the feelings of my sister after I took her to the town square and threw battery acid in her face for being all promiscuous and shit,” Indonesian president Susilo Bambang Yuduhoyono remarked Saturday afternoon.
In related news, SkullGame officials still can’t figure out exactly where Yethib is, or if there are any lesbians there. Lesbians that don’t dress like lesbians, act like lesbians where we can see, give CORNHOLIO legitimate “vibes”, and then leave without even so much as loaning us $5 for to cure our hardons with prescription pain medication—as that seems to be all we are running into lately outside of Guatemalans at the Laundromat that think we are “cute” and “funny” and “nice”; among other miscalculations.
