BUT first another Public Service Porn Announcement to DICK DELAWARE from the concerned citizens of Masturbatonia...
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. FOR JUST LISTENING.
THE SAMANTHA SUCKJOB: A PSYCHOSOCIOLOGICAL ENQUIRY INTO THE NATURE OF SUCKING, JOBBING & SUCKJOBBING
SAMANTHA AT POOLSIDE IN WHAT WE IN LITERARY CIRCLES CALL "FORESHADOWING"
SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- Consider if you will a one MS. SAMANTHA G. Now for those of you who might not be regular readers Samantha was the republican tit queen who was interviewed by SkullGame a few months ago. Make that "interviewed". That you may know. But what you don't know is this: she was quitting the biz, that is the biz of extracting semen directly for those who might then extract it by proxy that is to say indirectly aided by her filmwork, for a life of matrimonial bliss and extracting semen for one man.
This news hit our own VINNIE ROSE like a ton of fucking bricks. The love that he had come to have for her and her successfully delivered suckjobs was face to face with her desire to eat bon bons in a Florida trailerpark and the chocolate won out. So as the only kind of wedding present that seems appropriate VINNIE sent the soon-to-be-newlyweds the SkullGame Institute's Prostitute Probe into the Gank Gumming. Forthwith.
HERE YOU'LL NOTE DESPITE MY IMPRESSIVE LENGTH & GIRTH THAT SHE'S HAVING NO PROBLEM AT ALL GUMMING MY GANK. THIS IS PSYCHOSOCIOLOGICALLY IMPRESSIVE.
"Samantha...well what can I say? She was so adept at sucking down my entire length of sausage that I didn't even KNOW that she had done so. What I DID know was that I was about to blow my load AND $100 down her throat and so I had to quickly get to the fucking. She complained that this hurt her throat. Points off for this, but points that were quickly redeemed by the overall high quality of the fucking. It was at this point that she asked 'do you want to come on my tits?' And before I could even answer she added, 'but NOT on my face. I think that's degrading.' So it was with sausage sorrow that in protest we came in her cooch. Or rather in the condom in her cooch. Case closed.
Until we received her wedding announcement. And THIS.
I GUESS THIS'S JUST THE KIND OF PERSON SHE IS. THIS IS A PSYCHOSOCIOLOGICAL DISGRACE.
So to you soon-to-be-happily married back knifers I just want to say, 'you stole my heart. You broke my heart and even worse you broke my load's heart. I hope you're happy.'"
BAD WRITER OF BLACK WOMAN POSITIVE FICTION FOR OLDER BROADS GAYS HER HUSBAND INTO DIVORCE, SKULLGAME BITTERLY AMUSED
PROFESSIONAL RACE MIXER TAYE DIGGS & HOT BITCH ACTRESS THAT IS NO REAL REFLECTION ON TERRY MCMILLAN'S REAL LIFE PERSONAGE PLAY THE WRITER & HER ERSTWHILE & NOW SAUSAGE SEEKING SOON-TO-BE-EX-HUSBAND
OAKLAND (SkullGame) -- In a tale rich, some would even say laden with loads, irony and loads of irony, and now divorce, bad writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of her fictionized best-seller and movie of the same name "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" -- actually got her groove back with a man, Jonathan Plummer, who she drove to bathhouse gayness.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a "fraud'' because Plummer lied about "enjoying my sensitive but sassy black womanized fiction, my stilted writing fashion, honey chile, AND his sexual orientation, which is apparently: gay blade," and married her only to gain U.S. citizenship. "It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on and around mutual love and the crushing of his testis in an Oprah-like vise of post-modern super-sensitivity, was actually based on deceit,'' she wrote in her declaration. "I was humiliated."
Plummer, 30, countered in court papers of his own that McMillan has turned on him with a "homophobic'' vengeance by trying to void the couple's prenuptial agreement that cleared his access to most of the millions she's earned as a writer as well as remunerating him for his 368 man hours spent servicing the distended and fleshy demands of a woman old enough to be his mother.
Good luck with all that Tuan.
BOB & CAROL & TED & ALICE & KATIE & TOM & WHITNEY ALL TRY TO FOIST THEIR HORRID DNA ON THE REST OF US. FOREVER. AND EVER. WILL NOTHING STOP THIS BREEDERS OF TERROR??!!?
"NOW IF Y'ALL'LL EXCUSE ME, I GOT SOME FUCKING TO DO."
FANTASYLAND (SkullGame) -- WHITNEY HOUSTON is doing so well following her recent fifth stint in a rehabitorium and her return to Fantasyland, she is trying for another baby with her husband, Bobby Brown. Especially if by trying you mean fucking a lot. Both Houston and Brown have gone through battles with drug abuse, that have left them confused about the exact process involved in conceiving children but as long as she's "sucking, I ain't saying nothing," said a clearly inebriated Brown.
Despite his repeated surrenderings to her mumbled mouth ministrations, singer Brown is delighted at his wife's improved condition and her desire to extend their family, however dogheadedly applied. He says, "We're trying for another baby. ... She wants a boy, and I want her to be happy."
AND in a related story from Fantasyland.
TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES CARRY JOKE A LITTLE TOO FUCKING FAR
"WHAT?!?! KATIE'LL BE HERE SOON...WHAT?!?! ME & JOSEPH ARE JUST TALKING!!! YES, YES, THAT'S RIGHT...TALKING."
TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES already are "planning" to "start" a "family", just a week after they got "engaged" and three months after they met. The whirlwind insane romance has shocked Hollywood, coming out of the blue soon after Holmes' split from longterm fiance Chris Klein and a year after Cruise left former lover Penelope Cruz.
But Cruise insisted their engagement is genuine at a New York premiere of his new movie, "War of the Worlds," and had nothing at all to do with shaking the stench of sausage that permeates almost all of doings much in the same way that PigPen's cloud of dust follows him in those old Charlie Brown cartoons.
When asked by a smirking SkullGame reporter if children were planned, the 42-year-old grinned and replied, "Yes."
When said smirking reporter added that they'd have to actually have to have heterosexual intercourse for this to happen, Cruise responded, "that's not what MICHAEL JACKSON said."
But he added, "We would have to talk to our families about it." Adding cryptically, "and Tuan."
