AS reported on Wednesday a known SkullGame associate, the band OXBOW, weathered a savage assault on their person, integrity and their personal integrity.
AN ARTIST'S RENDERING OF THE CRAVEN ATTACK
The perp MR. BRAD PRICE now claims foul, blames "JEFF ROBERTS" and ACID and flees under cover of withering SkullGame abuse. Giving no quarter ITALIAN SAL says "Post the coward's back-pedaling reply. I am not one to back off when someone is stumbling and/or falls, isn't that the very essence of BJJ, to continue the fight on the ground? Congratulations Brad Price, your not-too-thought-out, yet well-timed, cowardly attempt at weasling out of this virtual fist fuck has only guaranteed a round two on Friday."
"HI. MY NAME IS BRAD PRICE. AND YES, MY LIPS HAVE KNOWN PENIS, WHY DO YOU ASK?"
And so we will. Right after this NEWSFLASH.....
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: MEXICANS & BMX BIKES!!!
"MY BMX BIKE IS IN THE SHOP, MANG. FOR 5 OR 4 DAYS. ANYWAYS IT'S FRIDAY & I GOTTA DATE TONIGHT, HOLMES. YOU WANNA BUY SOME WEED?"
CALIFORNIA (SkullGame) -- If you live in California and you see any Mexican guy 25 or older riding a BMX, he will sell you weed. Wherein most Mexicans are hard-working, law-abiding citizens who, by and large, are more industrious than most Americans, Mexican BMX aficionados will invariably try and sell you weed. The weed will not be good quality weed, it will probably be jammed with stems and seeds, but it will be weed just as assuredly as the guy who is selling it to you looks awkward sitting atop a bike built for someone almost half his age.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle...and about half as much herb as you will pay some hippie on Haight St. the same price for.
JACKSON & JACKSON HIGHLIGHTS SHOCK A THRILLED SUBSAHARAN AFRICA
"THANK GOD THE WHITE WOMAN MICHAEL JACKSON CAN COACH AGAIN THE LAKERS."
THE DESERT (SkullGame) -- In a refugee camp in the Darfur region of southern Sudan, hundreds of refugees burst into simultaneous applause when word of both the MICHAEL JACKSON Not Guilty verdict and the PHIL JACKSON rehiring ripped like wild...well, almost like the actual wildfire that beset the region just weeks earlier...fire through the ranks of gathered dieters.
COACH JACKSON COURTSIDE AT A RECENT NBA FINAL SIGNALING A TIME OUT SO HE CAN COMMUNE WITH SATAN.
"I'm so, so glad," said Jahi Mkehah while fingering a festering, fly-stained abscess on her leg. "KOBE "ASS MASTER" BRYANT needs a good strong coach to keep him from ass fucking hotel workers and we all think that the old white woman singer Michael Jackson is just the one to help."
SUCKMUMBLE SINGER BRITNEY SPEARS WHO RECENTLY SWORE OFF OF PERSONAL GROOMING & DISNEY EXEC STUMBLE ON HUSBAND SQUEEZING THE PIPE TO PORN
LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO WASH YOUR FEET. OR DRESS LIKE ANYTHING OTHER THAN A RETARD.
ORLANDO (SkullGame) -- "Singer" BRITNEY SPEARS was left red-faced when she invited Disney bosses to her hotel room to "talk" — and found hubby Kevin already discussing something with his fist, while watching PORN.
The pair were guests at the Florida resort’s 50th anniversary bash. At first the 23-year-old mum-to-be did not know where to look after Kevin, 27, left the tape running. She mumbled: “Boys will be boys” before hitting the off-button. But she quickly recovered and joked:
“Honey, you didn’t tell me you’d brought along Sleeping Booty!”
Yeah. Maybe if you lost a few fucking pounds you dirty whore.
AND FINALLY: WHAT BRAD PRICE HAD TO SAY ABOUT "JEFF ROBERTS"
From baprice14@hotmail.com
"Hello Oxbow. Uhhh, not entirely sure what to say about all this so I'll just tell you exactly what happened. About 3 months ago, I bought one of the Neurot Recordings compilations that had an Oxbow song as well as an excerpt from the film based around you guys. I had let several friends listen to/watch it and they were, well, entertained at any rate. Then one night I was with several people who had not seen it who had taken some acid, when one of my friends who had already seen it suggested that we watch it (mainly to fuck with one guy in particular). So we did and I guess that it made that person have a bad trip. So this guy now has some sort of crazy problem with Oxbow.
Anyways, somebody had told me that he had written some sort of hatemail to you guys, mostly juvenile racial slurs and macho challenges directed towards Eugene, but I did not realize until i was e-mailed by you guys that he had sent the message from my account. I am guessing that he happened to be at the same place I was soon after I had logged onto Hotmail, and that I had forgotten to log off or something. Not sure if it was unintentional or if he holds a grudge against me since it was my DVD, but whatever. So I was certainly surprised when I received your e-mail.
Anyways, his name is Jeff Roberts. Not sure of his e-mail or anything, but I could probably find it out. He's never really in town these days 'cause he has some job where he goes on the road for weeks at a time.
Not really sure what his purpose was in sending that to you was, but he must have been aware that there was a chance of repercussions, online or otherwise. All I can do is shake my head. I'm sure that given the content of the message, you must realize that there is no real threat on his behalf. "stop humping trees and join the real metal world," "its not music its a foul noise which pierces my well trained ears," "youre degree is a fraud."
Anyways, that's about all there is to say. On the upside (I guess), I have introduced probably 20 or 30 people to Oxbow. Whenever I bring it up to work, my co-worker puts it on and tells other co-workers that in the next few minutes, one of two things is (are?) going to happen to them. About half of the restaurant has memorized it.
Well, hope this has cleared things up. Take care.
Brad"
Whatever.
Give us JEFF ROBERTS and all is forgiven.
