A Procedural Note: Due to forces beyond our control VINNIE ROSE and one other member of the SkullGame staff (pictured below) whose name we won't mention (NICKY BALLS) have been placed in a place presently beyond our abilities to get ahold of them.
REHAB FOR THE ONE. OBSERVATION FOR THE OTHER.
So while we usually do new pages every MONDAY, WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY barring events such like this, this week legal manueverings of all varities will have us not doing a new page again until NEXT WEEK of MARCH 21st, 2011. But you got over 2000 entries here, so read deeply and fully until they get out. We mean BACK.
AN OPEN LETTER....FROM NATIONAL SALES DIRECTOR ITALIAN SAL TO....YOU...
VATICAN CITY (SkullGame) -- ...you chest-beating, bible-thumping homostats all across the world who are currently alternating between throwing yourself on the ground crying and sack cloth and ashing yourselves in the midst of a perfect storm of Christian agitation caused by the simultaneous TERRI SCHIAVO big push to the great beyond, the Pope death watch, and the Pimp Polack's eventual demise.
Why are you all not coming to SkullGame!?!?! Our stats took a hit on Vatican Death Day. Is our news not sensitive enough?
How is this for sensitive? Go fuck yourselves.
Oh, oh, oh NEWSFLASH: there is probably nothing less shocking then death, especially when the person dying is an 84-year-old man, or a female tomato. You are more likely to die in your lifetime than you are to do anything else short of eating, breathing, shitting and sleeping. Death happens…a lot. Get used to it, before you know it there will be a new Pope and Michael Schiavo will get back to the business of fucking prostitutes with the sizeable insurance settlement he received as a result of his wife’s 15 year trip to heaven.
But here is some good goddamned advice. Come to SkullGame, purchase something and get back to the business of enjoying the counted moments you have here on this mortal coil in the most productive way that you can: abusing yourself maniacally and blowing loads all over yourself and your couch.
Thank you very much.
PARIS HILTON OFFERED $52 MIL FOR SEX...BY KNOWN LUNATIC NOT NAMED DONALD TRUMP
"WORK FOR SEX? HASN'T ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT WE HILTONS DON'T WORK FOR ANYTHING. NO, SIREE, SAILOR. YOU'LL GET THIS ONE FOR FREE!!!"
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Socialite Slut and Hotelier That Put The Ho in Hotel, as well as having personally overseen several hundred thousand separate acts of coitus at her hotels, PARIS HILTON has been offered the chance to EARN $52 million-a-year -- as a high-class New York prostitute. The idea comes from a psychiatric patient, who claims he's a former pimp and SkullGame writer. The man, who wouldn't be identified by his pen name CORNHOLIO (a.k.a Pimp Juice), has written the offer to Paris via the New York Daily News.
CHARLIE SHEEN: "WELL YES, I THINK THERE IS A QUALITATIVE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FUCKING A PORN STAR AND FUCKING A HOOKER. WHY D'YOU ASK?"
YOU SEE? NOT A PROSTITUTE NOR A PORN STAR AND JUST COINCIDENTALLY, NOTHING YOU'D WANT TO FUCK EITHER. SHEEN PICTURED WITH SOON-TO-BE-EX-WIFE RICHARDS
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Former Hollywood Slap Star and Ho Hopper HEIDI FLEISS knew her ex-client, and current SkullGame hero, CHARLIE SHEEN'S marriage to Denise Richards was doomed because the playboy loved the company of prostitutes "too much."
While we consider the deeper ramifications of what "too much" might mean in this such like context, we note that Richards shocked no one when she filed for divorce from the actor last month, leaving gossips claiming Sheen had returned to his glory days, days he had, in actual fact never left, during which he spent more than $50,000 over a two-year period on Fleiss' hookers.
One prostitute, CHLOE JONES, recently dismissed claims by the actor's father MARTIN SHEEN that the star wasn't cheating on Richards, since Sheen and Richards were the only two people in the world who even ever believed that, by telling U.S. tabloids that she and Sheen -- an old client -- met and enjoyed mouth sex in a Hollywood hotel in February.
CHLOE JONES MAKING A COURTESY CALL TO A MR. CHARLIE SHEEN
And now Fleiss admits she isn't surprised that Sheen's marriage is over. She says, "The guy's a rat." Fleiss admits she feels sorry for the actor's pregnant wife Richards. She adds, "She's got to be devastated ... (She should) take all the money and move on and forget about him."
This is, in all likelihood what ol' Fishlips Richards WILL do seeing that when she married Sheen, she negotiated a pre-nup that guarantees her $4 million if she ever catches him cheating on with hookers.
Charlie, Charlie. If only you had come to us first.
SKULLGAME: where your ho's are OUR concern.
Next time, good sir, next time.
HEINRICH BIMMLER, SKULLGAME'S OWN NAUGHTY NAZI, TAKES ON THE HOMO-RIDDLED PAPACY!!!
"HELLLLLLO....MUD PEOPLE!!!!"
April 4th, 2005……vee mark zee passing of zee Pope – John "Jew Lover" Paul II.
SEIG HEIL!!!….von less Polack on zee earth!!!
Now that vee have him out of zee way, let’s bring back a Pope that vill actually do some good for mankind – like his greatness, Pope Pius XII - the famous Vatican Nazi collaborator.
IN THE NAME OF DER FUHRER, THE SON UND THE HOLY GHOST...
My only question is, ‘Does he have a grandson?’ Not for me, silly, I mean to be zee new Pope. With all of zee Vatican’s policies toward the massive reproduction of mariachi-playing subspecies, and not allowing priests to touch, in order to helps thems to manhood, zee young boys, how in zee hell can this organization expect to get respect from zee 4th Reich? I mean, before I became Lieutenant Governor of zee 4th Reich under das Fuhrer Schwarzenegger, I seriously considered zee priesthood. Just so I too could be near so many young, strapping Aryan boys, and help them also to manhood.
ARNOLD RECENTLY THREATENING TO KICK SOME "JEW ASS"
Anyvay, I realized I could never be a Catholic because they worship Jesus Christ, and vee all know that motherfucker was a Jew. About zat time, I decided just to become a devout narcissist, and worship myself. SEIG HEIL!!!
Now you may laugh. Or join the International Jew conspiracy. Zee choice is still yours to make...for NOW!!!
AND THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS
PERHAPS I WILL TELL MY FRIEND NICOLE KIDMAN HOW POOR, BROKE & UNEMPLOYABLE I AM AGAIN
Hollywood beauty NAOMI WATTS credits movie "Mulholland Drive" with saving her life -- because she regularly contemplated suicide until she got her big break in the film. The 36-year-old beauty considered ending her own life while driving through Los Angeles' real Mulholland Drive, because her dreams of a movie career had been shattered, she was suffering extreme poverty and was about to be evicted from her apartment.
But when director David Lynch offered her the lead part in the thriller, she accepted the role and vowed to leave her depression behind her. She says, "I still have a hard time believing that it's all come together for me. I remember spending a lot of time in my car weeping.
"I actually remember driving along Mulholland Drive thinking, 'I'll just take a right turn here. Maybe I'll just go over the cliff, because I can't take it any more.' But I never had the guts to actually quit. My friend Nicole (Kidman) would tell me, 'All it takes is one film. And maybe one day with ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT A SINGLE SHRED OF FUCKING HELP FROM ME...well maybe, just maybe, you'll get a walk-on on COPS. Or some porno film or something.' Well, that film turned out to be 'Mulholland Drive.' It was a life saver because I was about to be evicted from my LA apartment. And I owe absolutely none of it to any of my Hollywood 'friends'."
