Here at SKULLGAME, where tolerance is the watchword, we are glad to be able to honor the wide variety of religious and cultural, what's the word? Freaks? Yeah, freaks to do whatever fucking weird thing they want to in God's Green country. We celebrated the Mexican religious holiday of CINCO DE MAYO just about 12 days ago. Black history month last month when we ran the KOBE "I LOVE WHITE WOMEN" BRYANT I LOVE WHITE WOMEN issue. And now we're doffing a yarmulke to our Jew brethren. So Happy Fucking Rosh Hashanah and good luck. Because if history is any indicator you're going to need it.
SKULLGAME EDITOR ENGLISH BOBSTEIN BLOWING THE SHOFAR
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: SOCIAL SECURITY RECEIVING PORN STAR TONY TEDESCHI GETS A CALL...
I'VE FALLEN...AND I CAN'T GET IT UP. TONY TEDESCHI RECEIVING IMMEDIATE MOUTH TO COCK RESUSCITATION FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH A HAND UP HER CRANK
The following is the transcript of my interview with porn icon, or pornicon, TONY TEDESCHI. Sit back, relax and strap in for a creepy ride.
Sal: Hi there Tony, how goes it?
Tony: Good, I’m doing really well.
Sal: So your hip heeled up well?
Tony: What?
Sal: Did you make a trip to the Liberty Bell?
Tony: ummmm…No?
"I'M WALKING HEAH...CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WALKING HEAH!!!" TONY PREPARING FOR HIS ROLE IN THE SUMMER STOCK PLAYER'S PRODUCTION OF MIDNIGHT COWBOY'S RATSO RIZZO
Sal: Cool, cool. Since you're kind of super creepy and all we are going to play a game called: “Who’s Who, Who’s Not A Jew.”
Tony: What!?!
Sal: “Who’s Who, Who’s Not A Jew.”
Tony: I don’t want to play any game like that.
Sal: Okay fair enough, how bout “Gay or European?” I show you pictures of super fruity looking guys and you say whether they are gay or European, bonus points if you can determine what country the fruity looking bastard's from.
Tony: I can’t play that game…
Sal: So then “Who’s Who, Who’s Not A Jew,” it is. ROBERT LOMBARD: Jew or not a Jew?
Tony: I can’t do this; I have to work in this town.
Sal: SO! You're saying the Jews control Hollywood?
Tony: No! Please stop, this is INSANE!
Sal: Okay, I am going say that you said yes, YES. HARRY WEISS of KSEX Radio: Jew or not a Jew?
Tony: [Dial tone]
Sal: Hello, hello! I guess that means Jew. Thank YOU. Ladies and Gentlemen, that was TONY TEDESCHI, celebrated porn anti-semite. Let's give him a round of applause for leaving before we got to the lightening round.
KNOWN SKULLGAME ASSOCIATE SAL TEODORO DEFENSE FUND IN FULL PLEDGE DRIVE SWEEP
MR. TEODORO AND HIS ANGELS OF MERCY
ELMWOOD PARK, N.J. (SkullGame) -- SKULLGAME associate and political prisoner, SALVATORE TEODORO (no relation to ITALIAN SAL) has recently been arrested for helping the poor, unwashed, and huddled masses of gamblers to collect their winnings in something other than the rooted evil of filthy lucre. Yes, this selfless giant let them collect their winnings in sex.
The Grand Inquisitor of this Spanish Inquisition launched against our friend, Police Chief Don Ingrasselino said, in a non-oath bonded testimony that Salvatore Teodoro used prostitutes -- two of them minors -- to deliver winnings to bettors in New Jersey, New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.
Teodoro, 46, is also being falsely accused of kidnapping and a variety of other charges for tying up a man he correctly suspected was a police informant and threatening to shoot him and break his legs with a baseball bat.
"He wanted this guy to believe he was going to kill him," Ingrasselino said.
Yes. Yes, he did. Because this man was clearly interfering with the good work, the good works, that Mr. Teodoro has done for touts all over the Eastern Seaboard.
He must be set goddamned FREE. Or at least released on bail. Until he pays us for our Stanley Cup haul.
Donations for our friend can be sent care of VINNIE@SKULLGAME.COM.
STONE BARES BREASTS IN INTERVIEWS AND NO ONE, WE REPEAT, NO ONE CARES
"I MEAN IF I SUCK YOUR COCK, ISN'T THAT JUST PART OF LIFE'S GREAT PAGEANT? AND NOT REALLY AN EFFORT TO REDEEM MYSELF FROM A FUTURE OF SHOWING NIPS IN SNAP-ON TOOL CATALOGS?"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Aging starlet SHARON STONE has gone all Sunset Boulevard on us in her recent discovery of a new way of tantalizing and titillating disinterested journalists in interviews -- she wears see-through shirts and goes bra-less.
The sexy, 46-year-old EXPLOITED MOM loves to, just like her raunchy character Catherine Tramell in that movie "Basic Instinct" that was on video when most of us weren't even born yet, shock in lieu of actually offering anything significant -- and says her breast "peek-a-boo" is an effort to be "more European."
She explains, "I'm all for the European sensibility. I mean, you're a guy, and if I can see your nipples, it's no big deal. Does that mean nipples are not an erogenous zone on you? Or have you just not had a girlfriend bother to do foreplay in that direction?"
Jesus fucking Christ.
Talking sexy in an upcoming Rolling Stone interview, Stone also admits to once owning a vibrator, but "only as a party favor," and insists she has never faked an orgasm.
Sureeeeee. Say, wasn't she married to PHIL BRONSTEIN from the SF Chronicle? Yeah. We thought so.
