SUK MUK DIK, A POTENTIAL ADDITION TO THE SKULLGAME FAMILY AND OUR WOULD-HAVE-BEEN FIRST ASIAN WRITER, HAS DECLINED OUR INVITATION ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT "WOULD INTERFERE WITH MY HOME LIFE." AT LEAST AS MUCH AS HIS RECENT ARREST. HE'S PICTURED HERE WALKING IN THE RAIN WITH THE ONE HE LOVES AND FEELING SO FINE.
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, DESPITE BEING 7'1" TALL, HAS A SMALL COCK
LITTLE BIG MAN AND TWO WHORES. ACTUALLY THEY'RE NOT WHORES. ACTUALLY THEY'RE 15 YEAR OLD VIRGINS
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- "OK. So's this broad we knows goes to dinner with SHAQ after he's called her a couple of times and she's waltzing through the obligatory "hard to get" stumble that broads who make their stock in trade the banging of pro athletes must master.
"Anyways, they're at dinner together and it's pretty clear that tonight is the fuck night. And he's hemming and hawing and finally he says to her
'You know, everything they say about tall guys ain't true.'
"And you'd be talking about...'
It was at this point that he looks at his crotch and actually points. She asks without missing a beat,
'Do you eat pussy?'
'Like a champ.'
'Let's go.'
When we later asked her how sex with the freakishly outsized O'NEAL was she declined to comment outside of the cryptic commentary: "MINI ME."
REVENGE OF THE NERDS: SKEETER KERKOVE A CALCULATED CREATION OF PUBLICIST TO THE PORNSTARS, HARRY WEISS
WHEN HE WAS ASKED TO PUT SAL AND CORNHOLIO ON THE AIR, THE SAGE MR. WEISS SAID, "FUCK NO. I GOT AN AUDIENCE TO THINK OF"
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- "I love SKEETER but I created him. When he first showed up he had like a pocket protector. A briefcase."
SKEETER SALUTING HIS MOTHER
"But to his credit he totally reinvented himself at my urging. He's funny. I mean he's like a walking encyclopedia: he knows almost to the exact number how many double ass fuckings his wife had had. How many double vags. The whole bit."
15,236 TO BE FUCKING EXACT
ITALIAN SAL: "Is he a fag?"
WEISS: "What? Noooo..."
SELF-ASBORBED CUNT'S LEVEL OF SELF-ABSORPTION REACHED SELF-ABSORBEDLY CRITICAL LEVEL LEADING HER TO LEAVE L.A. FOR THE MUCH-LESS SELF-ABSORBED MIAMI
LOOK WHAT JUST WASHED UP ON THE BEACH: A BITCH!
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Jennifer Lopez, known mostly for sucking long and hard, is leaving Los Angeles for good in an effort to show her true fans her real personality: that would be "insufferable bitch."
And J.Lo in an effort described as "not fooling anyone" is now ready to demonstrate her softer, funnier side by appearing at this weekend's Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, where she is expected to be covered in green slime just like former guests TOM "I'M NOT GAY" CRUISE and CAMERON DIAZ. She has declined a SKULLGAME invite to be covered in white slime just like former guests TOM "I'M NOT GAY" CRUISE and CAMERON DIAZ.
SHIT WE GOT IN THE MAIL THAT MAKES US REGRET THAT WE EVEN FUCKING GET MAIL
YES, YOU ARE SOBER
"DO YOU KNOW THE INGREDIENTS FOR A HEALTHY SMILE?" YOUR FREAKISH DOUBLE APPENDAGE?
HE IS DOOMED TO WALK THE EARTH A LONELY FREAK...BECAUSE HE HASN'T FIGURED OUT THAT WITH TWO FUNCTIONING COCKS EVERY PENETRATION SHOULD BE A DOUBLE ONE
AND FINALLY...THE SORDID DRAMA SPLASHES TO A HALT. THANK GOD
