BUT FIRST, A COMPLAINT OVER OUR RAPING OF THE CORPSE OF HERVE VILLECHAIZE; "I WISH YOU ILL SKULLGAME," SAYS IRATE GARY COLEMAN.
"BITCHES ARE JUST LIKE BAD JOKES FOR ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. I GOT A MILLION OF THEM."
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- In a surprise move today former child star and recent gubernatorial candidate GARY COLEMAN lashed out at media pundits at MACK AVENUE SKULLGAME in a letter sent via attorney that expressed anger for the cavalier treatment of the late HERVE VILLECHAIZE.
"HERVE VILLECHAIZE was a giant among mites. His balls were like unto boulders and you'd break your necks if you were to fall off of even just one of them. So as executor of his estate I'm demanding that you cease and desist your for profit ventures involving his image and likeness, you fucking nut jumpers you."
A PHOTO-SOCIOLOGICAL EXAMINATION OF HOW FAT A BUNCH OF FAT WHORES HAVE GOTTEN
In a phenomena that could only be described as "totally fucking predictable ...from like a scientific view point and all," SkullGame researcher MIKE GOLDEN discovered that "FAT WHORES start to look like other FAT WHORES and the totality of their FAT WHOREDNESS is so complete that before you know it the entire world looks like a FAT WHORE. It is a sociological disgrace."
"Look at the facts. KIRSTIE ALLEY, the former sexy sitcom siren?
THE ONE WITH CHEESE, GODDAMN IT! I SAID CHEESE!!!
Starts to look strangely like ANNA NICOLE SMITH.
BLIND STALKERS? WHO KNEW?
Who then suddenly starts to look like COURTNEY LOVE.
"SNHSL. STTUF. MUFFINS. KIRSFIN. GOCHOA. HAHAHAHA..."
While COURTNEY LOVE looks eerily like HOUSTON
AGGGGAGGAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
who reminds us that between
PARIS HILTON,
DESPITE THE SURFBOARDS, WE'RE QUITE CLEAR THIS PARTY WILL SOON BE SPORTING A RAILROAD MOTIF
BRITNEY SPEARS,
OOPS. I WILL SOON DO IT AGAIN. ESPECIALLY IF BY IT YOU MEAN MARBLE CAKE
AND A CUMSHOT,
I AM A CUMSHOT. AND I VOTE!!!
"There is also like one degree of separation and that we are on a collision course toward having everything on Earth compacting into everything else in a colossal and never-ending ball of shit," said Golden.
CORNHOLIO'S COMEDY CORNER
He made us write that. And he's making us publish this as well. And if he were standing there with you, he'd be making you laugh at it too. Just...don't make...any sudden moves.
MY JOKE TO FUCK WITH ALL Y'ALLS HEADS
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by a shipwreck:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman.
One month later on the same absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage-a-trois.
HO HO HO...WE ONLY WISH
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; but how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid either
