IN A MOVE ALMOST CERTAIN TO BAFFLE NEARLY EVERYONE EXCEPT HER PERSONAL FRY COOK, SMITH STUMBLES AROUND BEHIND A CAMERA FOR A FEW MINUTES BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE BUFFET TABLE
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame)--Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith "directed" a Clive McLean HUSTLER centerfold layout featuring Sin City contract performer HANNAH HARPER and Vivid contract performer MERCEDEZ for the magazine’s December 2003 issue. Said a smirking McLean, "she's a great 'director'. Especially if by 'director' you mean someone who eats all the fucking bear claws from the deli tray."
FROM THIS.....
An interview with Smith in chronic substance-abusese will also be featured with the layout, which also shows shots of The Holy Cow taking photos of the girls engaging in dildo play.
“It was so great working with Anna Nicole and meeting her,” Harper said rolling her eyes and spinning her index finger around in circles by her head. “I knew of her when I was back in England and she was modeling for Guess. Back before she had sort of become the fat, white, and talentless version of MICHAEL JACKSON."
...TO THIS, IN ONE EASY STEP TO THE REFRIGERATOR 10,000 TIMES IN A ROW
The issue is on newsstands now.
THE PLANE, THE PLANE: HEY BOSS, MIDGETS NEED LOVING TOO
VINNIE SAID HE WANTED A LITTLE PUSSY, SO THAT'S WHAT WE GAVE HIM
Yes. That's right. Casting has started on the SKULLGAME production of MIDGET FUCK FUCK directed by our own VINNIE ROSE. Says Rose, "I thought a movie that delved into the vicissitudes of life lived in the lowlands of ass-smelling and knee knocking was exactly the kind of wake-up call that Hollywood needed right about now," before he was reminded that the midgets were really needed for THE WORLD'S SMALLEST GANG BANG.
O WE O, O-OOO! O WE O, O-OOO!
Midgets wanting to trip the light fantastic can do so by visiting
www.worldssmallestgangbang.com
Bugging Harry Weiss at hweiss@aol.com is also recommended.
OCTOBER DECLARED NATIONAL ORGASM MONTH BY MEN WHO NEVER HAVE THEM
IRVINE, Calif. (SkullGame Newservice)--Scientists and esteemed academics at the EROTIC UNIVERSITY have declared October, National Orgasm Month, and will host three bids to set world records for orgasms, a record currently held by Bethesda, Maryland resident Robert Vermilion who, with the aid of the same GIRLS GONE WILD video has achieved 9678 orgasms in his living room Barcalounger in one 4 week period.
"October," says university president Jeff Booth, "is the only month with an O in it. Well I mean outside of November. Cheese tastes better this time of year as well."
Attempt number one will be Ken X, also known as Professor Pleasure, who plans to stage the world's largest simultaneous orgasm to promote A Girl's Best Friend, his latest self-hypnosis pleasure CD. For his attempt, Ken X will teach female volunteers his "touchless orgasm" technique, Erotic University says, aiming to give them "such a level of control of their sexual enjoyment that they will be able to climax on cue."
Attempt number two will be SKULLGAME's own ITALIAN SAL who will display (on the chests of some female volunteers) his patented "touchfree orgasm."
And finally attempt number three will involve several participants including Dr. O., whose techniques teach women to achieve multiple orgasms trying to beat the standing, non-Barcalounger sequential orgasm record of 134. Those were recorded, Erotic University says, by Drs. William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian at the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California.
RECESS AT EROTIC U
Other forthcoming Erotic University classes will include Swinging 101, What Really Happened in the Garden of Eden, What Really Happened With That Hooker That Time, The This Has Never Happened to Me Before Master Symposium, Mastering Fellatio, Pole Dancing, and the Robert Dante series on bondage and discipline, Erotic University says.
