IN A PAEAN TO THE BROADS THAT PUT THE CRAZY IN PHRASES LIKE CRAZY FUCKING BITCHES OR YOU CRAZY CUNT GIMME MY CAR KEYS WE BRING YOU THE MACK AVENUE APOLOGIA WHERE WE EXCUSE THE INEXCUSABLE WITH GREAT POMP AND MOCK HUMILITY
BRITTNEY SKYE INTRODUCES HERSELF TO BELLADONNA's COOCH AT THE RECENT DIGITAL PLAYGROUND PARTY FOR LOADED. WHY? WE DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU HAVE OUR DEEPEST AND MOST SINCERE APOLOGIES
COURTNEY LOVE IN GOTHAM TIT TERROR TIRADE
Men, women, shoes, is no one safe from this semi-nude marauder?!?!
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Murderess, multi-millionaire and media whore extraordinaire COURTNEY LOVE in the Triple Crown of Crazy won, placed and showed her monstrously maimed mams to an unsuspecting world outside of a tony New York Eatery Vinnie's cousin Vinnie reported to him today.
BLOOMERS, A BAD BOOB JOB AND A SHOE. WHY? WE DON'T KNOW, BUT WE APOLOGIZE FOR THOSE WHO WILL NOT
"We was out on 15th. Right offa Union Square," Vinnie recounted to Vinnie. "When this fucking homeless broad starts making with the free show outside Wendy's. I never fucking eat there because it gives me gas. Well that and I knew this Puerto Rican who used to work there and he used to piss in the fry cooker, but anyways no sooner did this homeless broad start with the free show then this fucking bum latches on like he's at the soup kitchen, sucking away."
HOW THINGS WOULD BE IF CORNHOLIO RULED THE WORLD
The sucker, KOFI ASARE, 23, tells SkullGame he was offended after some identified him as "homeless" when describing the photo. "I didn't appreciate that," said Asare, a reservations agent for a limo company who lives with his parents. "It was an assassination of my character. I'm not homeless. I graduated from SUNY-New Paltz last year. I majored in public relations."
Whatever.
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO...
DRUNK, CRAZY AND BELLIGERENT? PERFECT!
DIG THE CRAZY BITCH EATING THE OTHER CRAZY BITCH'S LEG
While interviewing BRANDON IRON at AVN, he received a phone call on his cell that he asked me to take. Upon answering his phone I immediately began posing as Brandon with some unnamed porn slut who I later found out was triple teamed by Brandon and some other anonymous cocks over at the Bellagio the previous night. I guided her over the phone to where we were standing over by the Platinum X Booth. Below you will find the transcripts of our interview with the aforementioned psychotic cunt and her equally psychotic however much more bellicose friend. We take this opportunity to apologize in advance.
SkullGame: Hi there. Brandon says you might be interested in doing an interview with us…
Crazy Bitches: [In unison] Yeah!!!!
SG: Okay. So…can you tell me your name…you… the one in front of me…not you. [Pointing to the one now crawling on the floor]
Crazy Bitch: My name is [garbled]
SG: Badger? Okay Badger it is…we like to do a format called Five Easy Pieces. I have two sets of questions in my hand. So like in the Matrix, here is the red pill [extending right hand] and here is the blue pill [extending left] Choose!
“Badger”: I like blue. Woohoo! [Waving her hands]
SG: Yes, yes: woohoo [waving one hand condescendingly while looking over at CORNHOLIO and STEELY ROB now engrossed in conversation with Brandon Iron]. How long do you plan to stay in the business?
“Badger”: [now obviously “really called” Badger due to her apparent willingness to answer questions being directed to her under that name] I…am. I am going to do this forever. HAHAHA!
DO YOU KNOW ME? SKULLGAME WILL GIVE YOU FREE PORN IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY ME AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE CHICK WITH THE BOOZE, THE CRUCIFIX AND THE CRAZED DRUNK KNEELING BEHIND HER
SG: I hope your liver and looks hold out.
Badger: WHAT!?!
SG: Pardon?
Badger: What did YOU say!?!
SG: What?
Badger: You said…
SG: Can we continue? Thanks. If you were to give money to a charity, what charity would you donate to?
Badger: [looking at her friend for a hint or answer or something] Ohhhh! I know! I would give to Mother’s Against Drunk Driving, because my Mother was arrested for drunk driving.
SG: Somehow that makes perfect sense coming from you. Let's continue. What is funnier, a monkey in a tuxedo…or a midget?
Badger: What are you trying to say? Midgets are cool. I mean little people… they are cool. I don’t think it's…it's…nice…and…stuff.
SG: Stuff?
Badger: Fuck you!
SG: Oooookay...what say we wrap this the fuck up? This last one is political: Hitler: misunderstood?
Badger: What!?!
SG: Pardon?
Badger: Fuck you!!!!
SG: Ass Clowns? Badger wait. Badger, two more questions!
NEWSFLASH: WHITE BROAD MORE THAN LIKELY CRAZY. "YEAH, I'M CRAZY ALRIGHT. CRAZY AS A CRAB."
BRITNEY SPEARS WITH WHITE BROAD WIDELY SUSPECTED AS BEING "MICHAEL JACKSON"
MICHAEL JACKSON, his "kids" and members of the Nation of Islam have jetted off on "vacation" to Hawaii. The "pop superstar" and his "massive entourage" of pre-teen boys are "holidaying" in a "private" villa on Kauai.
The eccentric star was spotted arriving on the island over the weekend dressed like a beekeeper.
PLAYBOY WANTS JESSICA SIMPSON IN PLAYBOY BUT BARRING THAT, THEY'LL JUST USE ANOTHER LESBIAN
SHE IS NEITHER DRUNK, NOR CRAZY BUT YES, HIGHLY, HIGHLY STUPID
PLAYBOY is hoping for American beauty JESSICA SIMPSON to strip in their pages. Both readers and bosses at the soft porn publication are keen for the "Newlyweds" TV star to pose nude. Yes, readers, bosses, schoolteachers, cab drivers, Iranian clerics, 64-year-old janitors and stock brokers.
Her husband Nick, however, has had enough and just wants out of his prison of measured and closeted time.
And speaking of GAY:
I AM A LESBIAN. AND I VOTE. ESPECIALLY IF BY VOTE YOU MEAN GET NAKED
STEPHANIE ADAMS, Playboy's first openly lesbian Playmate, since she broke up with her girlfriend, she's been out with rock icon Joan Jett, lesbian comic Marga Gomez, Janet Reno, Michael Jackson and Jada Pinkett Smith.
And for this we deeply apologize.
