Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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We don't need to be told
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[ Full Review ]








06.29.09
"ASS CANCER IS NO FUCKING JOKE," SAYS SKULLGAME WHILE MOURNING THE PASSING OF A PASSEL OF WHITE BROADS FROM FARRAH FAWCETT TO MICHAEL JACKSON. PLUS: REPUBLICAN SENATORS DROP LOADS ALL OVER WHILE ATTEMPTING TO PREVENT US FROM DOING SAME: AN OUTRAGE.

IN A MOMENT of quiet reflection SKULLGAME, in the wake of the deaths of celebrities significant & important to us, has decided to revisit some of them at their best and brightest. Forthwith our silent tribute to dead white broads what we once loved.

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HEY...YOU REFLECT YOUR WAY...AND WE'LL REFLECT OURS



BUBBLEHEAD BONANZA: IN A SYMPHONY OF POPS & BURBLES FARRAH FAWCETT TRIES TO SAY SOMETHING TO CO-SLUT ANNA NICOLE SMITH ABOUT "SNOLLIES MMPHS..."

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"...MPPE MEES! S-S-S...ARE-EEEEEEEE!!!" A POSTCARD FROM NOW


LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Speed-fueled Slutress FARRAH FAWCETT is eager to get on ANNA NICOLE "FATTY ARBUCKLE" SMITH's hefty good side again, after a brief war of slurred words in the clearest case yet of pots, kettles and Negroes calling each other names: Fawcett, who was last seen getting her head bounced off of her driveway by her boyfriend and felon here known only as Pizza Boy, labeled Smith's self-slurred "reality" show a "train wreck" in the first episode of her new unscriptedly self-slurred series, "CHASING FARRAH...DOWN THE DRIVEWAY."

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A PUBLICITY STILL FROM HER NEW SERIES SHOWING FARRAH, DRESSED FOR DRIVEWAY DUTY

The former "Charlie's Angels" star's comments, when explained to her by a Meth Translator, proved to be highly offensive to busty Smith, who recently stated, through an Oxy Interpreter, in her weekly column for the National Enquirer, "Train wreck? Have you seen a mirror lately? Looks like your train wreck came 15 years ago. What did you do anyway, hit your nose on the train while doing a rail? Because it sure needs to be straightened out. It's a shame you had to talk about me because I," interrupted by unintelligible blubbering, "really loved you."

But Fawcett is keen to squash the battle, explaining, "This is so sad. So sad. Sad sad sad saddie sad," said a visibly huffing Fawcett as she dragged her face across parallel powdered lines. "When they were pitching the show to me I said the shows that I didn't want to do. She got mad and wrote something very bad and then I was sad. It wasn't directed at her. I could've said (Donald Trump's "The Apprentice") if he was a husky hophead. But I didn't mean her. I meant the Anna Nicole Smith show. I apologize if I hurt her fatty feelings. Just love me again and loan me a few, OK?"

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...WELLLLL....OK...IF YOU BUY ME A BEAR CLAW...




HERE COMES DA JUDGE...ROY BEAN ADJUDICATES JACKO'S DEPOSITION OF HONDA'S ASIMO ROBOT

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"MICHAEL IS TOTALLY INNOCENT," SAYS CULKIN THEN. "DON'T BELIEVE ME? WELL YOU CAN FUCK IT, YOU CAN SUCK IT, YOU CAN LEAVE IT ALONE, BUT THAT'S THE GOD'S HONEST TRUTH."


HOMOTONIA (SkullGame) Honda's ASIMO, the world's most advanced humanoid robot, is said to be currently eliciting erections from sexual predators worldwide--including, ALLEGEDLY, the infamously defaced pop icon MICHAEL JACKSON. Child molesters, rapists, and assorted reprobates across the globe reportedly "can't wait to fuck that thing"; a sentiment that has drawn lots of attention from the universally disdained NAMBLA and many other men that have gone on record as really "digging Menudo, you know, for their music."

Jackson, currently on trial for several counts of lewd and lascivious encounters with children, commented (against the advice of his legal counsel) on the practical applications of this potential Terminator-esque technology; saying "I think this child is just beautiful." Upon his initial encounter, Jackson was "overjoyed" at ASIMO's ability to "moonwalk," as well as it's reciprocal physical mimicry. Through gnashed teeth Jackson remarked "if we put a mattress behind him I don't think he'd have much of a choice."

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CULKIN NOW. 'NUFF FUCKING SAID.

The 4 ft tall/100 odd lb. ASIMO (who bears a resemblance to MACAULAY CULKIN) was unavailable for comment; but according to Honda CEO Hiroyuki Yoshino the robot appeared to be "just a rittle nervoush" upon hearing the news.



CALIFORNIA PENAL INSTITUTION ABOUT TO EARN IT'S NAME ON THE EVE OF A VISIT BY THE KING OF POP, REPORTS ITALIAN SAL FROM SUNNY SOLEDAD PRISON

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V IS FOR VICTORY. AND VIRTUAL. AND VAGINA. ALL WORDS WHICH WILL COME INTO PLAY IN MR. JACKSON'S NEAR TERM LEGAL DEVELOPMENTS

SOLEDAD (SkullGame) -- The California Department of Corrections is bracing for a possible visit by MICHAEL JACKSON. With the Jury deliberating felony charges against the King of Pop, Corrections officials are preparing for an extended stay that may likely be wrought with cigarette extortion and man-on-man anal sex, all of which may or may not include Mr. Jackson.

Did we mention the man-on-man anal sex?

Prisoners have reported preparations in the works as well. Some have reportedly redecorated their cells with throw rugs, hurricane lamps and Astroglide dispensers. A very large inmate who wished to only be identified as "The Ass Master" told reporters, "All these guys here are star struck, making their rooms all pretty and what have you, the only thing I am doing is limbering up, stretching and working the kinks out: we don't get many middle aged white women around here." Indeed they don't.

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"THE GIRL IS MINE. THE GOSHDARNED GIRL IS MINE..." THE BANDIT SINGS THE GREATEST HITS OF THE 80s IN PREPARATION FOR THE ARRIVAL OF THE KING'S ASS.

A spurious quote from the Jackson camp reports that the King of Pop is "limbering up, stretching and working the kinks out, they don't get many middle aged white women around there." Indeed they don't.



ITALIAN SAL & MICHAEL JACKSON: ALONE AGAIN. UNCOMFORTABLY

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I TOOK THIS PICTURE OF HIS NOSTRILS. WHY?!?! WHY??!?! WHY?!?!?!?

THE KING OF POP opines "It's just not the same any more" during a discussion with Mack Avenue Skullgame about his trial and possible conviction on child abuse charges.

We caught up with The Gloved One as he indulged in one of his favorite pastimes, handing out candy to kids at a playground. Ole Pale Face, as he likes to be referred to these days, said that the trial has really hurt his many, many, many, many attempts at a possible relationship, (with pre-pubescent boys) saying that the media coverage of the case has been overkill, hashing and rehashing all the accusations and indictments and accusations, rumors and innuendos that have dogged him, day in and day out, for the past decade.

Ole Pale Face went on to say "I just want get this behind...me," resting his hand on the head of one of the unsupervised children in his wake. When asked about what he was in fact looking for in a relationship, Ole Pale Face said, "Boy. Boy, oh, boy, oh boy - that's a hard one...I guess they would have to be young -- and energetic, be playful, have real childlike qualities. Yes, childlike and alive with the wonder of the world and all things in it that are shiny and close to my bedside table, that's what I am looking for.

I need to wash off this keyboard...and go to confession, mostly go to confession.




JUST WHEN THE POSSIBILITY OF APPEARING EVEN CRAZIER SEEMS UNLIKELY MSSR. MICHAEL JACKSON, THE CURRENT GRAND PAJANDRUM OF BAHRAIN DOES SO. IN STYLE.

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MICHAEL JACKSON & A MEMBER OF "THE YOUNG ISLAMIC BROTHERHOOD OF BOYS THAT LIKE TO SLEEP OVER" ON A SHOPPING TRIP IN DOWNTOWN BAHRAIN.

MANAMA, Bahrain (SkullGame) -- "Pop" "star" and alleged manipulator of young boy penis MICHAEL JACKSON took a "shopping" "trip" to a Bahrain mall Wednesday, in search of Choco Puffs, those peanut-roasted things and tampons, and covered himself in a black abaya robe traditionally worn by Bahraini women with a veil hiding his face, along with three children -- apparently his -- with their faces covered with dark scarves. And shame.

Jackson, who seems to be settling in the Persian Gulf, was seen leaving Marina Mall in the Bahrain capital, holding a child by the hand. On the way out through a back door, he shook hands with security guards. He was wearing an abaya, a robe with long sleeves, under which his pants, white shirt and men's shoes could be seen, and his head and face were wrapped in a black veil. He had black gloves on his hands.

The veil, abaya and gloves were of a style typically worn by conservative Bahraini women, though Jackson appeared to be wearing them to hide his identity. With him was another woman -- also in an abaya and jeans and a scarf over her head that partially covered her face -- who had the two other children. All three children's faces were wrapped in black scarves, and they wore yellow shirts and sweatpants or khakis without robes. The woman's identity was not known. The woman asked photographers to respect their privacy saying they are scaring the children, as the five left in a White Lexus Infinity with darkened glass.

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THE FORMER MRS. MICHAEL JACKSON. NOT SO FOND OF ROBES; QUITE FOND OF LOADS. AND CASH. AND LOADS OF CASH. POSING HERE IN A PIGLATINSTAN TABLOID.

Since his June acquittal on CHILD MOLESTATION CHARGES, Jackson has made several trips to Bahrain as a guest of Sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the young, bedridden son of Bahrain's king. It has been reported that he was negotiating a position as a consultant and bed companion with a Bahrain-based company that plans to set up theme parks and music academies in the Middle East, according to a press release, earlier this month.


 


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