WELCOME TO IDENT-I-HO! THE NEWEST GAMESHOW SENSATION!
I AM A SERIAL AWARD SHOW MARAUDER. MY TITS ARE MY TICKET. THEY GET ME THROWN OFFA SAID SHOWS. THEY ALSO GET ME SCRIP. FOR SOMA, VIKS, DILAUDID AND EVEN TOUGH-ACTING TINACTIN. MTV JUST THREW ME OFFA THEIR SHOW FOR GOING UDDER. GUESS MY NAME CORRECTLY AND I'LL HASTILY DELIVER YOU AN INEXPERT & SLOPPILY INEFFECTIVE SUCK JOB. WHO AM I?
KOBE BRYANT'S ASS RAPING NIGHTMARE SCREECHES TO A $1.2 MIL HALT. SKULLGAME VOWS TO NEVER MENTION HIM AGAIN WITHOUT MENTIONING ASS FUCKING. OR WHITE WOMEN.
KOBE BRYANT IN AN INCREDIBLE RE-CREATION OF HIS WHITE WOMAN ASSFUCKING TRIAL'S EXHIBIT A
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- With a terse news release and an even terser court filing, the sordid sexual assault case against serial assbandit KOBE BRYANT that gripped the nation abruptly ended, much like the ass fucking, with an agreement that ensures the NBA star never goes to trial for what happened in a hotel room two years ago by way of anal rape.
Few experts believed the civil lawsuit would ever be heard by a jury, saying it was unlikely that Bryant and the 20-year-old woman who accused him of raping her relished the prospect of having to divulge potentially embarrassing, intimate details of rectum wrecking in a courtroom. Not to mention the semen cocktail of several men's manjuice found in her victoria's secrets soon after said "rape."
The case tarnished both butt burglar Bryant, 27, arguably the NBA's best player, and the woman, a former high school cheerleader who once tried out for "American Idol" and found herself the subject of Internet speculation. Mostly along the lines of booty busting. A two-sentence statement faxed to The Associated Press by Bryant's attorneys said only that the matter had been resolved "to the spent and sweaty satisfaction of both parties."
"HI. MY NAME IS IRON MICHAEL TYSON. AND I'M A LIBRA."
FLOAT...FLOAT ON.....
ROME (SkullGame) -- "IRON" MIKE TYSON, looking uncomfortable and mopping his head with a towel, made his singing debut on Wednesday at Italy's most popular music festival despite critics who wanted him banned from the event.
"I'm not just a boxer. I'm a father, an uncle, a person who loves animals and it's not fair to see me just as a fighter," Tyson said, after announcing a June fight in Washington D.C. Prompted on by the festival's presenter, Paolo Bonolis, at the televised event, Tyson somewhat reluctantly sang several seconds of Italian ballad "Volare" during the country's annual Sanremo music festival, watched by millions.
At one point, Tyson brushed Bonolis's hand off the boxing champ's knee, and looked slightly awkward during some of the softer moments of their one-on-one interview. "You are a beautiful person," the festival presenter told his guest. "And you are a faggot," said Tyson. The self-proclaimed "baddest man in the world," Tyson ended the segment by rapping a version of "New York, New York," that began by calling it "a big city of dreams" and abruptly ended seconds later with "I gotta get out of here."
"What I am, I am an alchemist," Tyson said.
"There are very talented individuals and they can take kaka and make money out of it ... And I'm just the opposite. I take money and turn it into kaka."
Jesus. Fucking. SHIT.
"ASS STRETCHING. MOSTLY," SAID CORCORAN INMATES IN DESCRIBING THEIR PRE-MICHAEL JACKSON TRAINING REGIMEN
"TITO!!! TITO!!!"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- MICHAEL JACKSON – may enter the Belly of the Beast. Within six months, one of the world’s most famous pop stars, a multi-millionaire, could be placed into the State’s charge. If convicted, Jackson will become a paedophile predator – the lowest of the low – in convict parlance and, because of his status, easy-pickin’s for fellow con’s and guards, alike.
Two inmates, incarcerated at Corcoran have spoken exclusively to a US representative of SkullGame, and an inmate, from Death Row, San Quentin. All confirm that Jackson, if convicted, would “face hell. SHU (Security Housing Unit) is all bull”, says one man, serving life for robbery and rape. “Jacko has more to fear from the Man than us cons. They are gonna ream every dime from that sad sucker. Jackson? He comes here and he’s f----d.”
Another long-timer, said: “Mr Jackson will fall apart within days. When them big steel gates slam shut, he is in the belly of the beast, and no amount of money will help him here. Everyone will kill to get a piece of Jacko’s action. Ya know, it’s all about big money.”
Our Death Row inmate at SQ, confirms: “The system is so corrupt, the guards will sell their daughters for a dime to make a buck. Paedophiles? Sweet Jesus, if Jacko is found guilty, and I hope he ain’t, cos we love his music. I mean Billie Jean? Ohmigod! But his face, his mind, his being, is gonna collapse in this system, and he won’t be wearing no smile, like he is today.”
When reminded that Jackson's face has already collapsed our source said, "say. You're kinda cute."
