AND to commemor...uh, commemorialiating...er, commemorant, eh, fuck it, to MARK the occasion of the opening of SkullGame's state-funded "therapeutic community" for wayward women and their autistic, or "retarded" teens, we salute SkullGame Sausage Haus with the display of some developmentally disabled, or "retarded" broad art work. Art work that explains the dire predicament that many of these wayward women, or "sluts," have found themselves. This artist whose name is "Ann," clearly had El Greco in mind when she painted this paean to her "street life."
GOOD WORK FOR A WAYWARD WHORE, ANN KUHNS, GOOD WORK.
SENATOR BARACK OBAMA INVITES SENATOR HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON TO A FRIENDLY TETE A TETE REGARDING HER APPEARANCE IN THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL SLOT ON THE DEMO TICKET
"OH, BARRY, BABY....." HILLARY & BARACK DOING IT LEWINSKY STYLE
FIRST THE COCAINE, NOW THE SUPERMODELS. CAN PHONE-THROWING BE MUCH FURTHER BEHIND IN SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCE MYSTERY?
KATE MOSS, PRE-DISAPPEARANCE BUT POST-LOSS OF SHIRT, SHOES, SERVICE & SIGNIFICANT BUNDLE OF BOO YAH.
PRIMO'S HOUSE (SkullGame) -- Police on Friday found ex-supermodel Waris Dirie, three days after the Somali-born model whose friendship with NAOMI CAMPBELL and KATE MOSS, has raised more than a few questions about the whereabouts of more than a few fucking bindles of gack from Primo's house this past weekend, was found.
Dirie, 43, though launching all manner of cellular technology at the heads of wait staff while ranting about "who the fuck I am," appeared to be in otherwise good health and was being questioned by police about the disappearance of aforementioned gack, said Estelle Arpigny, a spokeswoman for the prosecutor's office.
She declined to give further details, saying it was unclear what had happened since Dirie vanished along with a furious Campbell, a disconsolate Moss and a buncha other shit that "aint'really belong to them. And shit" early Wednesday. Belgian media reports said police found her Friday afternoon walking the Brussels' Grand Place square while pointing to her vagina and asking if anyone had seen WHITNEY.
IN RELATED NEWS: “Naomi Campbell was in an absolute fury that word had gotten out,” an insider told SkullGame. “She wanted to keep the whole thing secret and when it broke, she blamed the world and took it out on everyone around her. The world just left the room in tears after Naomi cursed her out.”
ASHTON KUTCHER'S CONCERNED ABOUT DEMI MOORE'S WRINKLED COOCH. MAKING HIM? THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD WHO IS.
THIS YOU WORRY ABOUT.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Actor ASHTON KUTCHER was once doubtful if his romance with DEMI MOORE could last, because his ego, and also possibly his man-kissing ways, almost prevented him from getting along with her ex-husband BRUCE WILLIS.
The 30-year-old's unlikely friendship with Willis has been the subject of much media scrutiny since Kutcher married Moore in a Los Angeles ceremony in 2005.
THIS YOU DON'T.
Although Kutcher and Willis have reportedly become friends, the "Punk'd" creator insists he didn't immediately accept the 52-year-old.
He tells Harper's Bazaar, "I just had to get over my ego, which was screaming, 'This guy used to sleep with your woman. Day in and day out. On the couch, in the kitchen, in the ass. On her face.'
"And I listened instead to the little voice inside that was whispering, 'This guy has dumped loads in her ass, on her couch, in her closet, in the car, over the kitchen table....I'm sorry. I forgot where I was going with this....'"
FROM THE DESK OF ITALIAN SAL...
Because I prefer ass, in the stairwell, grimly fucking it whilst looking over my shoulder, I prefer MOLLY. Yes there was that scare earlier in the year when she almost got pregnant. In her ass. But we're all over that now and so for a limited time only we are willing to auction off MOLLY'S ASS. For FIFTY DOLLARS. OR, $45.50 if you also throw in a wooden pencil ($45.25, if it's mechanical). Or anything else you might be willing to barter.
SAY 'HI' TO THE PEOPLES, MOLLY...
This is a bargain. What's more you'll never be wanting for an answer to the question: has anyone ever dropped a load in your ass? That you just met?
So like Mahatma Ghandi said, "get in, get out, bop boom bam."
Let the bidding begin.
