THIS edition of SkullGame has been brought to you by our favorite fat lesbo slut skinhead BRITNEY SPEARS' charitable giving foundation, Kike Katchers for Khrist [KKK].
WHITE & PROUD & PROUD OF BEING WHITE & PROUD. OH, AND, UM, OUT. OF THE CLOSET. AND NAMED BRUCE.
BRITNEY SPEARS MAKES CALIFORNIA CUMBACK: SPERMATAZOA OVERJOYED. ALL 300,000,000,000 OF THEM
IS THAT A BEAR CLAW IN YOUR POCKET? OR ARE YOU AND YOUR SEMEN JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?
SAN DIEGO (SkullGame) -- Contrary to reports she had canceled her comeback shows, BRITNEY SPEARS took to the stage for the first time in almost three years Tuesday night -- but the show was dogged with speculation she lip-synched her songs to overcome "nerves."
Wearing a brunette wig, boots, a pink bra top, a short white skirt, 55 pounds of adipose fat, a bald head and a mouth full of a piquant bouquet of vomitus and semen, Spears kicked off her brief five-song comeback at San Diego's House of Blues with the hit single "Baby One More Time."
But while the packed audience of men with penises, who had paid upward of $125 per ticket, seemed largely impressed with the gig and the personal and somewhat intimate attentions, some were disappointed the star appeared to have mimed throughout the set, palming and cupping when sucking would have worked just as well.
The gig had been advertised as the unknown band The M+Ms, named after her favorite breakfast food, but Internet gossip sites were rife with rumors the name was a cover for the "pop" "princess."
Earlier this year, Spears told fans of her plans for a career comeback in a posting on her own Web site, writing, "I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever."
Well she got half of that right.
AND from earlier in the week........
IN BIGGEST FUCK YOU TO OUR TROOPS YET EX-PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH EXERCISES VETO POWER: "VETO? IS THAT ANYTHING AT ALL LIKE 'BINGO'?" PLUS: NAOMI CAMPBELL & HER COCAINE HATE BOOZE, BUZZKILLS, NATIONAL FAG LEAGUE [NFL] DRAFT, HEROIN & US, & WELCOME JEFF CHEGWIN!
THIS version of SkullGame is being brought to you by HomoParanoia Comix where you get every joke...in the end.
HMMMM....FAGGOT!!!
NAOMI CAMPBELL "ALLERGIC TO ALCOHOL". NOT SO MUCH TO COCAINE. OR THE HEADS OF ITALIAN MAIDS & THE CELL PHONES THAT LOVE THEM.
"OH THIS OL' THING? JUST SOMETHING I THREW TOGETHER..."
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL has "quit" "boozing" after "deciding" she's "allergic to alcohol."
The British catwalk star claims most of her well-publicized bust-ups and breakdowns are alcohol related -- and she has decided to stop drinking. She says, "I choose not to drink today in my life because I find that I'm allergic to alcohol. I'm not someone that's in denial of my problems and I'm not going to lie about my problems and I'm not hiding my problems with, say cocaine, for example, by manufacturing this whole booze thing. WHAT?!?!?".
"But I have more energy without booze. LOTS of energy. LOTS and LOTS of energy. And I have more fun than when I was drinking and I can hang out really late and get up early in the morning with no hangovers and still smile. Rub my teeth. Wipe my nose. And...did I mention the energy thing again?"
AND from earlier in the former presidency of the STUPIDEST PRESIDENT EVER IN THE HISTORY OF PRESIDENTS....
NATIONAL FAGGOT LEAGUE [NFL] DRAFT WINNERS ARE...FAGS, OF THE FOOTBALL PLAYING VARIETY, NATURALLY. PLUS: SKULLGAME WELCOMES OUR NEWEST ADDITION JEFFREY CHEGWIN, GEORGE W. BUSH'S NEW MODEL ARMY & OUR WEEKEND OF HEROIN, MUGGLE HUFFING & ARRESTS.
WITH President GEORGE W. BUSH devoting tons and tons of non-nap-non-mountain-biking-non-taking-a-little-bracer-just-for-the-gums time to solving our present crisis in Iraq it seems his think tank level of cogitation on the matter has produced this recent stunning government white paper entitled, "WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT THE WILD KINGDOM ANYWAY?" that recommends the military use of sub-human primates. Which is why he's the goddamned President for US.
"OFFICER LANCELOT LINK REPORTING TO DUTY, SIR!!!"
SKULLGAME ENTERS THE NFL DRAFT & COMES UP WITH FOUR WINNERS
LT IN A MOMENT OF STUNNING CRACK EXCESS EXHORTING HIS TEAMMATES ON THE GIANTS GIRL'S LACROSSE TEAM TO "TAKE IT DOWN THE MIDDLE. AWROOG!"
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- The combines are finished, the picks have been picked and here we stand on MONDAY, older and a little bit wiser. Forthwith the SKULLGAME GUIDE TO PICKING PLAYERS.
Through exhaustive research it's been suggested that there are only FOUR BASIC male archetypes that should rule your pick process.
TOUGH GUYS
BILL ROMANOWSKI & HIS LESBIAN WIFE
These are guys that we are perfectly willing to kill.
SMART GUYS
ANDRE RISON HEADING BACK TO JAIL. NOT COLLECTING $200.
These are guys trying to become TOUGH GUYS.
GOOD GUYS
POLISH PRINCE SEBASTIAN JANIKOWSKI: HIGH ON LIFE!!!
These are guys who, with great regularity chase pussy your way, put cash in your pocket or get you high. Score a trifecta for the rare cat that does all three. At once.
FAGS
KOBE 'WHITE BUTT BANDIT' BRYANT
'Nuff said.
Armed with scribble sheets full of sprint times, injury reports and rap sheets SkullGame still finds the above register the most reliable in terms of making picks that will win. And shit.
HEROIN VS. HEALTH FOOD: AND WE HAVE A WINNER...
HEROIN. DEFINITELY.
CASA SKULL FRIDAY NITE (SkullGame) -- Oh, relax. He's all fucking better now.
SEE? I'M FINE. NOTE TO SELF: KEEP ALL & SUNDRY COMMENTS ABOUT OLIVIA TO MY GODDAMNED SELF.
AND LASTLY: A few minutes out to welcome this the newest addition to the little dysfunctional SkullGame family, JEFFREY CHEGWIN, another Brit on our staff mostly because porn without Pakis in it or without a requisite number of male-to-male sexual contacts is illegal in Britain. Or some shit like that.
In any case, even though we're still drunk from the weekend, the weekend drunk tank and the car that we will have to explain to Jeff and why we were just helping him lower his carbon footprint we wanted to take 32 seconds out of our day to welcome Mr. Chegwin. Who says he is not gay.
SKULLGAME "HAZING" TAKES A PREDICTABLE TURN TOWARD ASS POLITICS
And for your edification: THE LIFE CYCLE OF A SKULLGAME WRITER!!!!
Day 1: "Oh! GREAT! A bunch of free porn to review!"
Day 5: "OH...great. A bunch of...free porn to review."
Day 12: "oh...great...a bunch of...free porn to review that I can add to that which I have already not reviewed but need to and now VINNIE is publicly listing my place of work and calling me a GAY EXPERT in print.
Welcome to the fucking family.
Prick.
