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I...YEE...I....WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.....YOU ROCK OF CRACK COCAINE, YOU. THANK YOU SKULLGAME!!!
JUDGE ROY BEAN...J'ACCUSE...YOU FONKY HOOCHIE MAMA: A TREATISE ON THE ANALS OF NEAR-PRESIDENTIAL POWER. AND LESBIANISM. STARRING CONDOLEEZA RICE.
CONDOLEEZA RICE ATTEMPTING TO FURTHER DISTANCE HERSELF FROM THE BLACK COMMUNITY AT A TUESDAY, MARCH 28TH PRESS CONFERENCE, ILLUSTRATING HER FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE WITH OUR BILIRUBIN-ESQUE BRETHREN BY STATING “TRUST ME, I KNOW. GIVE A NIGRA AN INCH AND THEY TRY TO TAKE YOUR NIKES, YOUR WRISTWATCH, YOUR WHOLE GODDAMN CAR. THAT’S WHY I’M A LESBIAN."
WASHINGTON D.C. (SkullGame)—CONDOLEEZA RICE, who just last year was promoted from mere Uppity Negro to Secretary of State of the Bush Administration, is deeper in denial than the motherfucking Danites after St. Louis Talk Radio Host Dave Lenihan commented accidentally on her pigmentation and penchant for showing up late to work every day--a move that’s ensuring that Lenihan and his family will be living off of grape Kool-Aid for the next 18 months: poetic justice at it’s goddamn finest.
Lenihan, whilst on the air the morning of the 22nd, was discussing Rice's attributes for the post of NFL commissioner when he had what he claims is a “slip of the tongue” stating, "She's African-American, which would kind of be a big coon. A big coon. Oh my God. I am totally, boot-lip, totally, porch-monkey, totally, wee-bee, totally, moon-cricket, totally sorry for that."
Reached at home, moments after his wife left him, Lenihan claimed he was trying to say "quite a coup” assuring an outraged public that he's drafting a letter of apology to Rice and is sending along with it some of those “shiny, spin-y things ‘they’ all have on their cars…and some pomade…and a gift certificate to Church’s…which I’m sure she’ll trade for drugs but…ah… whatever...I swear I’m not racist, guys. I have black friends and I just love Charley Pride.”
Rice, at a press conference held earlier this week, expressed a great deal of anger for being mistaken as being black, saying, “after many years as the dental dam for the whitest of all white devils, I’m shocked that anyone would label me a negro. I am a lesbian, I tell you, a goddamned lesbian!”
HE DRUGGED & FUCKED OLIVIA, HE FUCKS & FISTS A PORTION OF THE WORLD THAT WE'D LIKE TO BE FUCKING. AND FISTING. HE'S BEEN BANNED FROM SKULLGAME IN PAST TIMES, LADIES & GENTLEMAN: MAX "I'M NOT GAY" HARDCORE!!! COURTESY OF STEELY ROB!
NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S NON-COUPLE'S PORN
In another SkullGame.com exclusive, we’ll be bringing you the lowdown on our foray into the world of MAX HARDCORE, overflowing with tidbits not limited to urine drinking, techniques to pee with a hard-on, a party pass that would allegedly get us into any event anywhere on the globe, women drinking our piss, and other urine-related hijinks... all presented in weekly installments over the course of as long as it’ll take to tell the whole story, or until VINNIE is done with the latest savage bender he’s on.
We were received by Max at his home/fuck mansion in Altadena, CA. Even if you don’t recognize the place from the sexploitation flicks, you’ll know you’re at the right address as the house is by far the biggest one on the block.
But we weren’t alone. Also entertaining us was Max’s latest full-time partner in carnal crime, LEYLA, and his fucking dog, Rusty. The details start rolling in with all the goriness you’d expect starting next time, but suffice to say that it gets as good as Max inviting us to, the next time we were taking a standing moment in front of the toilet with our cocks out, to just swish a finger or two in front of the stream and taste it. Thing is, it seemed entirely plausible at the time.
Speaking of Leyla, we got here one of Max’s many documentaries of the indomitable will of the human spirit, especially if by this, you mean girls who will go along with just about any cockamamie scheme a man can come up with, here being on the receiving end of a sexual smackdown in the movie UNIVERSAL MAX 2 (Euro Version), also starring one of our favorite Asian mongrels, KEEANI LEI, and the first Scottish porn star (as Max happily states), BARBII BUCXXX.
MAX & HIS HONEYCOMB HIDEOUT COUCH: WHERE THE PISS STARTS...
Max Hardcore’s biggest beef with God is that man wasn’t endowed with the ability to piss cum with the same majesty, conviction, and frequency as urine. So Max’s answer to that is to “push the envelope” (as he says) by having all the girls in his movies (in recent years) get peed on. But the mastery lies in his being able to keep a hard on. His trademark? “I start by peeing while I’m in their ass,” he says, “then I pull out, with the stream still going, pee on them, and then stick my cock back in while I’m still peeing.”
Some kind of Herculean endeavor? We think so.
This video being the Euro version is relevant. See, as Max explains, there’s an unwritten rule in porn that intercourse must be independent from bondage, peeing or shitting. You mustn’t mix it, or you get busted. Again, tune in later to hear more about the allegations of the inner workings of the FBI’s special task force of porn monitoring.
If you watch one of Max’s later works, you’ll see the girl is eventually covered in a shiny sheen of something icky. That’s the man’s tinkle, but the act gets cut out for the US audience.
Not that this reduces the basic visual effect, but if you’re into the full art of the product, as Max Hardcore is, without any hint or irony or jest, you’ll want to try to track it down. What gets left in for the US product is prolonged anal fucking, insane deep-throating, auto-induced dry heaving, and general depravity, all with a smile. Yippee! Extremity? It really doesn’t get any more than Max Hardcore and still be legal. And even then, it probably isn’t.
Next time: We ring the doorbell and meet our mortal enemy, Rusty the dog + “Have you seen better tits than this? Honey, lift your shirt up. Well, have you?”
AND BECAUSE RELIGION IS GODDAMNED IMPORTANT, SKULLGAME'S MAXIMUM BRINGS YOU NEWS FROM WOP CENTRAL.
"THAT'S NICE. AND IT BRINGS YOU THE CIGS, TOO?!?! WELL, I'LL BE GODDAMNED...."
VATICAN CITY (SkullGame) -– Tens of thousands of devout Catholics and brain dead gawkers mobbed St. Peter's Square in Rome on Saturday and Sunday to commemorate the passing of POPE JOHN PAUL II, who died on April 2, 2005.
POPE BENEDICT XVI, John Paul II's successor, spoke to the crowd about the legacy his mentor left to the Church and the world's Catholic population.
"John Paul lived the way he wanted to, right up until the end—waited on hand foot by his underlings and a loyal, trusted team of pre-teen castrati who tended to his private needs. John Paul's strength of faith was enough to ignore and overcome the sadness and anguish stemming from long-brewing scandal. Enough to install faith in the rest of us to follow the word of God no matter how contradictory it may seem. Enough to see his way past all those slick ginzo bastards...uh, bishops to install me to the position of supreme lord and ruler, the voice of god. Germany has always produced superior leaders, who know the path of righteousness, whose enemies will fall to eternal hellfire...Abgeordnete, Männer des deutschen Reichstag! Ein Jahr von Fällen der historischen Bedeutung zeichnet zu einem Ende. Ein Jahr der großen Entscheidungen liegt voran. In diesen ernsten Zeiten spreche ich mit Ihnen, Abgeordnete des deutschen Reichstag, als die Repräsentanten der deutschen Nation. Über und über diesem hinaus sollten die deutschen Leute des Ganzen zur Kenntnis diesem flüchtigen Blick in die Vergangenheit, sowie die kommenden Entscheidungen nehmen, die die gegenwärtigen und nach uns auferlegen!"
Pope Benedict XVI went on to specifically answer the numerous claims, mostly from the US, "...that we in the Catholic authority do horrible things with young boys. But in fact we do wonderful things with young boys."
These claims were also refuted by devout Catholics who came to offer their support as well as remember the man who gave them spiritual and Italian cooking guidance for more than three decades. Fabrizio Atieri and his wife Maria came from Florence to see the new Holy Father speak about the old Holy Father, and claim that the allegations of sexual abuse by catholic priests is simply a misunderstood showing of God's infinite love.
"These men are priests, soldiers in the army of god," reasons Atieri, "how could they do something so bad? It's obvious in all these cases that the young boys in question are only making these allegations because they've strayed from the path of God and the devil has taken control of their minds. If these priests did in fact perform as some are saying, then it had to have been out of a profound love for doing God's work, to heal these boys of their demons."
Other speakers graced the Papal stage after Benedict, among them a Vatican priest known as Father Vincenzo Rosa, or "Goodtime Vinne" to his friends. Keeper of the papal castrati, Father Vincenzo remembered with fondness his relationship with John Paul II, and looked forward to his tenure under Benedict XVI.
While the massive St. Peter's Square crowd cheered, bishops released packs of naked young boys into the crowd who began stealing money from and attempting to perform lewd acts on the pilgrims in attendance. Most of them didn't seem to mind.
