JACKO JOINS THE FOURTH REICH, OUSTS DANZIG AS JEW; LONGORIA CAUGHT IN NEGRO ROMANCE DRAMA...AGAIN; AND MARIAH CAREY: DOGFUCKER IN SKULLGAME MONDAY HEADLINES...
BUT first this INTERNATIONAL HEADLINE FUCKING NEWS FOR FUCKS: A simple barter of beer for pussy results in possible reemergence of the Axis Powers!!!
DATELINE: VERSAILLES
IN THIS HISTORICAL REENACTMENT HOMOSEXUAL ACTORS RECREATE THE ANALANNEXATION!!!
In a historic summit meeting, Neo-fascists ITALIAN SAL and HEINRICH BIMMLER have signed a non-aggression pact in which Heinrich will forfeit the phone number of the bitch he met the other night at Delirium in exchange for one Miller High Life 40oz. [later bartered up to two (2)]. The number will also include all the necessary intel for the Italians to be able to effectively negotiate their way through a "prior," but specious, meeting in order to patrol a load into Poland. In exchange for the easement allowing Sal to drive a pole into a Pole, Heinrich has agreed to refrain from kicking, or rubbing as the case may be, Italian Sal’s ass whenever he feels like it.
In this monumentous agreement, which the international press has already dubbed both a "Jew conspiracy of the highest order" and “The worst thing to happen since, well…since the last time the Germans and Italians decided to hold a bake sale,” perhaps the first to feel the fury of this juggernaut will be the baffled Pole who is being Jedi-mindtricked into acknowledging the existence of a previous social contact that never occurred. Then on the basis of the original intrusion, more physical contact, employing the wily ways of the Greek. When found the only statement we could get out this shaken young woman was, “What the fuck you talking about? Dick always tastes like my shit!”
This being just the genesis of a new wave of terror, we are not certain what, or who, will suffer next. At this point, all we can do is send a frantic plea to the good people at Miller Brewing Co. and beg them to just brew the Genuine Draft and stop, for God’s sake, brewing the High Life, the Demon’s Fuel.
AND NOW A FURTHER WORD FROM HEINRICH...
ZEE VORLD ACCORDING TO HEINRICH: JEWHATER JACKO PETITIONS FOR 4TH REICH ENTRY
HERR JACKSON CHATTING WITH SUBHUMAN.
Vhen I saw this one come through, I almost shat my britches. I thought I drank vone too many Muller High Lifes and vatched vone too many episodes of Hogan’s Hero’s. But it vas zee truth!!! Michael Jackson himself/herself emailed me, Das Ubermensch Hienrich, directly, asking to me admitting into the 4th Reich.
I was about to vrite back a scathing email, vhen fellow Axis partner, ITALIAN SAL informed me that MICHAEL JACKSON is an open and well known anti-Semite. BULLSCHEISSER, I proclaimed. But vhen I goggled it, there it was, clear as zee eyes of a fit, young Aryan boy named Hans that I used to….vhere vas I? Oh yeah, zee freak Michael Jackson vants in.
Ok, so he hates zee disgusting sub-species human lice Jews just as much as zee rest of us and even goes on T.V. and makes no secret of it. Fine, you vant in, no problem. Bring me zee head of Elizabeth Taylor, 4 million Reichmarks, and for Hitler’s sake, vhen people ask, you are a white, heterosexual, Jew-hating male. If you want to be zee 4th Reich, you cannot be a black, homosexual, woman. Do vee understand each other Michael?
Oh yeah, me, Italian Sal and Oigen also get to jump you in 21st Street style. You fucked up now holmes. You joined zee gang.
NEGRO LOVER LONGORIA LAUNCHES RAHOWA AGAINST FRITO BANDITO!!!
HE'S A NEGRO. AND I LOVE HIM! NOW WHERE'S PAQUITO WITH MY FUCKING DRINK?!?!?
SAN ANTONIO (SkullGame) -- San Antonio Spurs' guard TONY PARKER was cited for impeding traffic and failing to produce a valid Texas driver's license during a traffic stop in which "Desperate Housewives" actress and Negro lover of note EVA LONGORIA was his passenger, police said.
The incident happened about 12:45 a.m. Saturday. After seeing a car stopped, and ignoring the If the Rolls is a'rocking, don't come a'knocking bumper sticker, a bicycle officer, Rick Perez rapped the hood with the palm of his hand, according to a police report, written by Perez himself. Parker, who was behind the wheel, questioned why the officer "put his fucking spic mits on my goddamned ride in the first place," and the couple "began screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner," police said, said an irate Perez. Longoria called the police report "highly inaccurate," and not befitting a "mexican swap meet."
Police say Parker then began to drive away, almost hitting a man standing nearby. After being told to stop and get out, Parker showed a French driver's license, complete with national orders to surrender said license in the event of Germans, Vietnamese, Algerians, or small children with sticks, police said, said Perez. The officer who wrote the citations said The Negro complained: "This is all the cops do, just mess with Negro people," and that Longoria shouted from the car: "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph."
Longoria denied making the comment.
"It's a fucking spic shame that one officer conducted himself in such an inappropriate and disorderly manner what with his sombrero and guitar and all. I never made any sort of racial slurs regarding his penchant for auto repair or sleeping late, let alone made any comments about the officer being Mexican, as a white Mexican myself," Longoria said through her publicist. "Can't I just love my Negro in peace now?!?!?"
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: KATIE GOLD PEGS DANZIG AS JEW: CORRECT OR NO???
"MY NAME IS KATIE GOLD & I SPECIALIZE IN LOADS. AND VOTE!"
A return to the game that every adult film star has been waiting to play, WHO'S WHO, WHO'S NOT A JEW, ITALIAN SAL reaches adult film starlet, KATIE GOLD, who just recently starred in Sinful Pleasures DOUBLE DICKED and posed the question that’s on everyone’s lips: “Katie, who’s who who’s not a Jew?"
Consider: GLENN DANZIG
AN EMISSARY OF EVIL. IN MASCARA. AND LEATHER BOOTS. SHIRTLESS. WITH TIGHT PANTS.
SkullGame: Glenn Danzig: Who’s who, who’s not a Jew?
Katie: Ah, what?
SG: Now keep in mind, the name Danzig is the name of a predominately Jewish Polish port city also known as Gdansk. So Katie. Who’s who who’s not a Jew?
Katie: I don’t know if I feel comfortable doing this.
SG: Now keep in mind that very few ethnic Poles are 5’5 and have dark hair and dark eyes.
Katie: This is wrong, can we talk about my movie “Double Dicked Volume 2”? It’s really good, all two on one tag team action.
SG: The clock is ticking Katie. Who’s who, who’s not Jew?
Katie: Not a Jew? I really can’t do this.
[Dial tone]
SG: Katie? Katie? There you have it, folks. Glenn Danzig, much like Katie, obviously a Jew.
So you ask: "Sal, what have we learned here short of the fact that your sense of humor borders on a land between Jew Bait and Jewtonia? To which I say: Glenn Danzig, a Jewy Jew Jew, and Katie Gold? A hot piece of ass. Sinful Pleasures “Double Dicked Volume 2” pick up a copy.
MARIAH CAREY FORMER DEAL WITH DEVIL RENEWED AS HER OWN PERSONAL CAPTAIN CHARON DRIVES DOG 3000 MILES
CAREY, CRAWLING ACROSS THE PLAINS OF ABBADON AFTER RE-UPPING
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Mistress of Misery Ms. MARIAH CAREY refused to leave her dog in New York City when he was refused a seat on a flight to Los Angeles, so she dispatched her chauffeur to drive Jack the Jack Russell terrier 3,000 miles across America.
The singer was left speechless when the airline she was flying first class with refused Jack a berth "because he's too big." She tells British Glamour, "They said, 'We'd only allow it for a famous dog.' Please! He has three Web sites dedicated to him."
God help us all.
