Madness Pictures

Rating: FIVE "Because It Sucks So Bad. And Well." BUSTED NUTS

Man. This goddamn thing is working on so many levels that I have to make some quick comparison points here: the Rosetta Stone, the Enochian Keys, pre-biblical antiquities. I mean frankly my mind is blown. From shock, awe and an appalling sense that those motherfuckers over at MADNESS are smoking cigars lit with $100 bills and laughing until they vomit to the reality that I watched this thing from beginning to unbelievable end...it is all worthy of The Blown Mind Award. But let's see if I can get through this well enough to explain the Godel Escher Bach mindfuck that is SECURITY CAM CHRONICLES.

BREAK TIME AT THE MIKE HUNT PILLOW FACTORY.....

OK. Late night TV, you see the ad for this thing and right away you flash on WINONA RYDER or BRITNEY SPEARS, stealing shit--a dress, some shoes, a quick cock-in-mouth mumble in the dressing room--and you think "HOLY FUCK....this is going to be GREAT." I mean if character is what we do when we think no one is looking this is PERFECT. Chefs jerking off into the soup, secretaries xeroxing their cooches, mailroom ex-cons huffing muggles. In other words: shit you ain't meant to see. Alllllll courtesy of a hidden camera.

I mean there's nothing sexier than forbidden and secret knowledges. Even if it's forbidden and secret knowledges of a candy striper getting cocked by a doctor in the janitor's closet.

But this ain't that. This is a cooked book from the beginning. You see? The hidden cameras here are all "hidden cameras." Now I could be wrong and maybe it has become de rigeur for office wage slaves to have big screen TVs in their offices that they begin dancing in front of, when a spare moments introduces itself, and then subsequent to their little slut siestas, they begin rolling on the floor naked while masturbating with a fucking telephone, but I really fucking doubt it.

And so it remains: are we laughing AT the goddamned brilliant morons at MADNESS or WITH them?

I don't know. I just don't goddamned know. And for this fact alone I declare this, unmitigatedly, a work of pure genius shit!!! -- VINNIE ROSE

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