Sponsored by MATT DAMON and Furious Homosexual Films
I WILL GIVE YOU SUCH A SMACK
THE WORLD'S LUCKIEST NEGRO CRAPS OUT
SPEARS MINUS CASH = FOREVER. WE FEEL YOUR GODDAMNED PAIN.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- In a move that puts into serious question the "stupid" part of the "stupid whore" equation known as BRITNEY SPEARS, the pop tart, has finally caved in to her family's demand that she get fiance, the world's luckiest Negro KEVIN FEDERLINE, to sign a pre-nup.
The singer, 22, horrified her protective and racist-greed-mongering parents with gender neutral names Jaime and Lynne, when she insisted her marriage would be based on the non-ironically referenced "true love" and therefore she didn't need to protect her vast wealth from her unemployed Negro fiance.
But now Britney has reconsidered her position on fucking brotherman out of his due and sources say the paperwork is now being drawn up, ahead of the couple's lavish November 20 wedding, to do just that: fuck brotherman out of his due.
A source tells SkullGame, "Ain't that some shit?"
THE UNMADE-UP SPEARS DRIVING OFF INTO THE HEART OF FIANCE'S FUTURE HELL
Federline, who HAD been smiling constantly and counting up to 100 million just for fucking kicks and giggles, is presently soberly celebrating a less life-affirming occasion: the birth of his second child with his baby's mama SHAR JACKSON Wednesday, where he was quoted as saying "goddamn it." Over and over and over again.
Our condolences.
WINONA RYDER'S CRACK WHORE CONFESSION
OK, SO LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT. TITTY. THEN ROCK. RIGHT?
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Actress, serial drug abuser and crack achiever WINONA RYDER shocked onlookers in a trendy Los Angeles restaurant by having a loud argument on her cell phone with the Dopeman and then fleeing in tears.
One onlooker tells SkullGame, "Winona was sitting with two women and they seemed quite happy. But toward the end of the meal she began to look a bit agitated and told one of her companions to give her the cell phone. Winona ran with it into the ladies' toilets."
While in the bathroom, sources say Winona argued with a mystery caller before shouting, "No, no, Ricky, you promised. I suck, you score!!!" The source continues, "The women found Winona squatting on the floor looking very upset. She screamed at them to leave her alone before locking herself in a [stall]." Moments later after minutes and minutes of desperate and trembling searching through her makeshift paperbag purse, Winona fled the restaurant in tears.
WINONA WITH STRAWBERRY. NUFF FUCKING SAID, JACK.
KATE BECKINSALE SAYS TH...WHAT? WAIT. KATE, WHO?
SHE IS, IT APPEARS, A DRUNKEN HO. WE WILL INVESTIGATE FURTHER.
Nudie actress KATE BECKINSALE who appeared in, um. That movie about the wolf. No, No. The one with the vampire. No, the vampire, the wolf and the prostitute. Shit. OK. We don't know. Anyways she and LEN WISEMAN have had their first fight as a married couple because see, apparently these two got fucking married or something. Over? The director's penchant for nude paintings of women.
The ever-nude Beckinsale reportedly somehow grew stones big enough to berate her filmmaker husband after he bought a number of paintings for their Los Angeles mansions, many of which included images of the naked female form.
A source tells SkullGame, "Len's been buying a few pieces of art for their home in L.A. and a lot of them happen to be of ho's. They're all very tasteful, but Kate began to feel a bit uncomfortable with all those breasts everywhere. What with her being a ho and all."
SKULLGAME CALL FOR PAPERS
NOTHING BUT MAN ASS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN FUCKING SEE
We are examining the phenomenon of DOUBLE ANAL and would like the community of our peers to weigh in with an opinion: GAYESQUE or JUST PLAIN GAY: TWO COCKS IN ONE ASS. Opinions should be emailed to
vinnie@skullgame.com
Fuck you, very much.
