And responding to our open call was a passel of pussy from HOOTERS, here encouraged in their life choices by Leslie Bian the Baleful Lesbian. You GO, Girl!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. UM. YOU COME HERE OFTEN?
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: An Open Letter To All Women Looking For Us To Break Them Into The Adult Film Business
Dearest Sluts,
Stop telling me you want to do solo scenes, girl-on-girl scenes and my all time favorite (read: least favorite) “Can I work with my boyfriend?” scenes. Any and all of these things are essentially an attempt on your part to take the path of least cock-sistence: the path that that requires you to have the least interaction with strange cock while simultaneously separating me from my talent budget.
LESS OF THIS...
That being said, the answer will invariably be: NO. No one wants to see you diddle yourself on camera for a half hour. NO. No one wants to see you stumble ham-handedly through a scene with another woman wherein it is quite obvious that both of you are clearly not into it, if not for the money and for the fact that neither one of you have cocks. And above all…no one wants to, dare I say, needs to, see you and your erstwhile boyfriend mime out a baleful act of sexual congress where each and every one of your relationship issues are played out on digital video.
...AND MUCH, MUCH MORE OF THIS
You will be paid to fuck men, lots of them. The more the better. The only thing you will be paid for is to service as many men as you have holes. That’s right, start counting. You thought you could play the Jedi mind trick on me didn’t you?
“I want to lick on another girl's pussy, turns you on doesn’t it?”
No it doesn’t. I got a better idea: you will do a midget gangbang, and if that doesn’t interest you, that’s okay too. There are 10 other girls dying to do it.
So you got two choices: You can ice down your pussy and I will let loose with the midgets and cash…or…roll the fuck out. Either one is fine with me.
Have a nice day.
SKULLGAME SELLS OUR PARIS HILTON LESBO PHOTOS TO HUSTLER FOR UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT OF BLOW. AND CASH. BUT MOSTLY BLOW.
LESS OF THIS...
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Photographs of a slutress PARIS HILTON without a cock in her mouth and making out with a woman at a nightclub have provided a new career opportunity for the ho heiress and TV realityshow starattentionwhore -- inside HUSTLER magazine.
Eight pictures, which are from about 2002, show Hilton, fully clothed, "with a brunette at a nightclub, cavorting with her, dancing and cuddling with her and fondling her," Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt and known-SkullGame associate told the world on Monday.
The photos showed Hilton in a leopard-print halter top and low-slung black pants, and the brunette is wearing a midriff-baring black halter. Bruce David, Hustler's editorial director, told the AP the photos will likely be published in the May issue, which hits newsstands at the end of February.
...AND MUCH, MUCH MORE OF THIS
"It's a hot, passionate serious makeout session between two committed rug- munching lesbos one of whom would later be filmed with lots of cock in her mouth," David said. "It does not appear to be two girls kidding around or two girls kissing each other hello. It seems to be pretty hot and pretty heavy session with a soon-to-be well-known cocksucktress."
Hilton's spokeswoman, Gina Hoffman, was traveling Monday and couldn't immediately be reached for comment. Like ever. Again.
ANNA NICOLE SMITH EXPLAINS TOTALLY HIGH BEHAVIOR WITH A TOTALLY HIGH EXCUSE: "I WAS LONELY FOR ALL THE BLACK COCK NICOLETTE SHERIDAN IS GETTING. AND I CAN'T SEE!"
SMITH AT THE OL' DIRTY BASTARD WAKE WITH HER "FRIEND" MANDINGO
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- Once upon a time, bizarre behavior by a celebrity was explained away as "dehydration" or "exhaustion," but those excuses simply don't do justice to ANNA NICOLE SMITH's slurred, but oddly compelling, performance at the American Music Awards on Sunday.
During her rambling introduction of Kanye West, the blond bombshell bad-touched her "gentles" as she lazily asked the crowd, "Like my body?" Backstage, two burly Negro bodyguards recreated "Weekend at Bernie's" as they hauled a weak-kneed Smith around. With a twist: a free double teaming.
"Well, she couldn't really read the teleprompter because she has bad eyes," her lawyer, "Shifty" Howard K. Stern, tells SkullGame. "She flubbed a line, but she's fine. Fine!!! Absolutely FINE. Anna did numerous other interviews afterward where it's obvious that she's fine."
When asked "like what?" The sweat-drenched Stern was overheard to say "Um, lots. Like, uh, all those. Magazines. And things. Having to do with talking interviews...um...well...OK!!! The double teaming I can't explain!" He also denied her spacey manner was caused by anything imbibed or ingested like OXYCONTIN. "Definitely not any of that Oxycontin from the cereal cabinet."
But good news, guys! Anna confesses that there's no man in her life right now: "I don't date. No one ever calls. Leastways I never HEAR the phone ring."
Hard to hear the phone ring when you're stuffed full of cock. And eclairs. But good luck to you, Fat Stuff.
