Brought to you by the ENGLISH BOB DEFENSE FUND: "Stripped jerseys SUCK! And so, in fact, do YOU, you wearer of a stripped jersey, you."
WHEN JUSTICE GETS ITS ASS KICKED, ONLY ASS KICKERS WILL GET JUSTICE. FREE BOB'S WILLY!!!
"KATE HUDSON IS A FILTHY FUCKING DIRTY PIECE OF SHIT," SAYS AN UNNAMED SOURCE NAMED RICH BURNETTE. "A REAL BUZZKILL BITCH."
AND FOR MY NEXT SATANIC TRICK...I WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT A DREAM I HAD ABOUT BANANAS, CHIMPS NAMED REGGIE AND EGGS. BUT MOSTLY EGGS.
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- "Almost Famous" star KATE HUDSON and her ex-junkie husband CHRIS ROBINSON enjoyed a rare night without their 11-month-old son Ryder -- when they went to a Los Angeles strip club in an effort to destroy the entire erotic premise of strip clubs down to its root core.
The couple left their baby son at home on December 3 to join their pal BENICIO DEL TORO for an infernal trip to a gentlemen's club called mockingly enough, Fantasy Island -- where Hudson, in a display designed to desiccate the balls of the strongest of men, even enjoyed lap dances.
According to the still apoplectic ALLAN MAC D, the trio initially sat close to the stage, just to make sure they completely ruined it for everybody, before retreating to a more private VIP room with four dancers -- and Hudson was reportedly the only one not in shock who wanted a lap dance.
A source tells SkullGame, "The girls Kate chose were definitely the prettiest and classiest of the bunch. Kate told the dancers that she felt guilty being out without her baby. She kept saying, 'This is my first night without my baby in forever.'"
But Hudson didn't leave before making sure that her visitation of hellish pain was complete by entertaining some of the girls, who suck cock for a living, when she broke out a pack of tarot cards and did readings for them. "Your future is full of slumming millionaire cunts."
Precisely.
TOMMY LEE PROPOSITIONED BY A GAY FRIEND WHOSE COCK HE WAS SUCKING
THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS BITCHES, TOMMY. LET'S GO!!!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- In a baffling pre-tour A-Bomb of an announcement, inveterate and serial sucker of man sausage TOMMY LEE says he, not too surprisingly, was once, or 20 times, propositioned by a gay friend. Whose cock he was vigorously gumming at the time.
The Motley Crue star--who was previously married to screen beards PAMELA ANDERSON and HEATHER LOCKLEAR--said he "woke up" to find himself being "fondled" by his anal-inclined pal after inviting him to stay the night.
He told SkullGame: “I was partying with a bunch of people. Mostly mens, you know. And my friend--whose name I won't mention even if it does happen to be BILLY GLIDE and who I had a slight idea was gay, but I didn’t know for sure--drove me home and stayed in my room. Welllll, next thing I know I wake up and this guy is rubbing my ass and suggesting anal. I’m like ‘What the fuck? Dude! Lemme finishing blowing you! What is wrong with you?!'”
“Maybe if he was really good looking I may have slightly considered giving him the ass in a stunt I learned in the joint. But he just was not my type.”
MICHAEL JACKSON IDLY THUMBING THROUGH THE RECORD OF NOTE FOR ALL OF THOSE INTERESTED IN SEXUAL FELONY: SKULLGAME.
WHAT?!? WHAT?!?!
ENCINO (SkullGame) -- Fingerprints belonging to both MICHAEL JACKSON and the boy accusing him of child molestation were found on pornography seized from Jackson's Neverland ranch last year, the Santa Barbara News-Press reported Saturday, citing sources it did not identify. Named CORNHOLIO.
If the reported evidence of handshake double clutching is admitted during Jackson's trial, prosecutors would be expected to argue that the fingerprints were proof that Jackson showed the boy pornographic literature before molesting him. But the defense could assert that he and the boy were just reading SkullGame "for the jokes."
Jackson, 46, has pleaded not guilty to charges of molestation, conspiracy and administering an intoxicating agent, alcohol, to his alleged victim. All of which happens at SkullGame with great regularity. Especially last night. Just not with 10 year old boys. Whose parents encourage them to hang out with us. And watch porn. And ass fuck.
