But in this our first installment of WE LIKED THEM BETTER WHEN THEY WERE SHIFTY BOMB DROPPING FASCISTS we cite Japan as a place most in need of a new set of balls. Male ones. Big, giant, male ones. Ones so big you'd break your fucking neck if you fell off of one.
I...I...I LUV YOU MOMMY!!!
TOKYO (SkullGame) -- Japanese men who want to rest their weary heads from the extraordinary weight of 60 years of testicle-less living this Christmas season are finding comfort in the lap of a woman -- a woman made of foam, for chrissakes. The torso-less "lap pillow" stands upright like a small cushion, resembles a woman's legs in a miniskirt, and mocks the very men who use it in ways still not fully understood by them.
"Single men find this soothing," said Mitsuo Takahashi of Trane KK. "From the time people were kids, people have laid their heads on their mothers' hot fucking mini-skirted laps to get their ears cleaned," he said. "This is made to be quite close to the real thing. And almost as disturbing." So far the company has shipped about 3000 of the sets of laps, which are retailing for about $90 including tax.
ASS FUCKER KOBE BRYANT RESENTS KARL MALONE'S OLD COLLEGE TRY AT ASS FUCKING THE ASS FUCKER'S WIFE, VANESSA BRYANT, AN APPARENT FAN OF ASS FUCKING.
VANESSA BRYANT LOOKING FOR SOME PLACE TO PLACE HER FUCKING ASS. NOTE: THE $4 MILLION RING THAT ASSFUCKING BOUGHT
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- VANESSA BRYANT, wife of alleged assfucking lunatic and basketball star KOBE BRYANT invited KARL MALONE, who was wearing cowboy boots and a hat, to bring his daughter to sit with her during a game.
Eyeing his outfit, she said popped off with some rude shit like, "Hey cowboy, what are you hunting?"
Malone, after Vanessa Bryant repeated the indelicate question, answered, "I'm hunting for little Mexican girls. With hot pussies. That fuck."
Vanessa Bryant is, it should be noted, a little Mexican girl. After the game, she told Kobe Bryant that Malone had hit on her and called her an "assfucking spic ho."
Bryant, falling for the oldest non-assfucking related dodge in the book, called Malone and responded with threats and called the next day to make more threats. "Nigga!?!? Has you fucking lost your mind?!?! NO one fucks my wife in the ass but me. You unnerstand, bitch?"
Malone, through his agent, said he didn't hit on Bryant's wife and apologized for his remark. "I apologize for asking her to let me ass fuck her. I guess I was mistaken on the whole ass fucking thing. Mostly because Kobe is such an inveterate ass fucker. I did not fuck her ass and should not have even asked to fuck her ass. And it is this that I regret. The ass fucking, I mean."
SHARON STONE STONED. CLEARLY. SUES HER PLASTIC SURGEON FOR BEING HER PLASTIC SURGEON.
THESE ARE STILLS FROM MY UPCOMING MOVIE, "EGGS & SAUSAGES"
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- SHARON STONE is suing a plastic surgeon, accusing him of "harming" her "career" by "falsely" telling reporters she had visited him for a facelift. The "star", "46", was horrified when she read Dr. Renato Calabria's testimony in In Touch Weekly and Us Weekly magazines, and has filed a suit in Los Angeles superior court.
The lawsuit states, "Stone has never undergone a facelift in order to improve her physical appearance. [She] prides herself not only on her 'acting' 'ability' and other 'talents', but also on her 'natural' physical appearance."
The actress claimed negative publicity about physical appearance and not her aggressive penchant for crapass movies "has had a damaging impact on her professional reputation and ability to obtain work in the film industry."
Whatever.
LENNY KRAVITZ UNCOVERS A PREVIOUSLY UNCOVERED LODE OF THE LAST REMAINING UNFUCKED PUSSY ON HIS GOOD GREEN EARTH
LET ME TELL YA 'BOUT WHITE CHICKS.....
NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Rocker LENNY KRAVITZ is taking a break from his self-appointed task of fucking every woman who holds still long enough TO be fucked, and is following in the footsteps of fellow "musicians" Gwen Stefani, Damon Dash, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs and Jennifer Lopez by releasing his own clothing line designed to lure in yet even more pussy.
The crafty Black Jew is reportedly in talks with former Gucci designer Tom Ford to create the fashion collection, according to Britain's the Sun newspaper.
A fashion insider says, "Lenny will sell some clothes he's built up over the years to attract pussy BEFORE he had money. He'll also design some of his own outfits that currently have proved most advantageous in drawing in pussy and sell it through upmarket London stores like Harvey Nichols, where we're quite sure many pieces of purchasing pussy will walk through the doors and into a private audience with His Cockness."
