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FOUR OUT OF FIVE MOTHERFUCKERS RECOMMEND ROBO FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO GET FUCKED UP LIKE A CHARLIE NAMED CHAN.
HELPING YOU TO HELP YOURSELF TO UNDERSTANDING THE GODDAMNED PORN WORLD
WHAT?!? WHAT?!? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!? HELP ME SKULLGAME!!!
SAN FRANCISCO (SkullGame) -- A wrinkled sheet of paper with the underwear ads on it and a sock? Is that what Friday's are holding for you these days? And all because you wouldn't know a CHASEY LAIN from a COURTNEY LOVE?
Well, THAT is where we come in. The SkullGame Straight World Primer translates pop culture into porn culture so that you might up your game. From weekends with the underwear ads, some lotion and a sock to weekends with state-of-the-art technology, some lotion and a sock.
We GUARANTEE it or your money back!!!
WHEN WE IN THE PORN WORLD SAY, DAYTON, YOU SHOULD THINK ANNA NICOLE SMITH
DEIN BUSEN IST VOLLGEIL, MEIN LIEBES. JETZT, SAUGEN MEINE SCHWANZ?
Pornstar DAYTON is great. Like a car wreck is great. She was a VIVID girl, which means she worked at a porno company that makes flicks that feature people who hate fucking but like appearing on billboards. She is now an ex-VIVID girl, which means she got fired for, well, being Dayton. Talking crazy. Acting crazy. And when...wait, there's no acting about it. She has a Nazi shrine at home. She TOLD us so. Also says she doesn't like fucking men on film because "she wants to get married one day."
Case fucking closed.
COMPARE
ANNA NICOLE SMITH
"YOU KNOW, CRAZY IS JUST REALLY A STATEMENT OF MIND"
Busty ANNA NICOLE SMITH once had a ghostly mate she says used to make love to her when she was living in Dallas. The blonde reality TV star never complained because her weird romps were among the best she's ever had.
She explains, "I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn't. It was like a spirit. I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, 'Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.'"
Yes. Yes you do.
WHEN WE IN THE PORN WORLD SAY, FLICK SHAGWELL, YOU SHOULD THINK JULIA ROBERTS
FLICK SHAGWELL HAVING JUST FINISHED UP HER VERSION OF MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE ON THE WRINKLED SAX
You know how you're supposed to feel when you see JULIA ROBERTS? Like a breath of minty-freshness sighed out of her mouth as her lips pulled up into a toothy grin and you just say, "ahhh...wasn't PRETTY WOMAN a really realistic portraiture of a street-walking cum suckers life?"
Well that's how you feel when you see FLICK SHAGWELL.
WHEN WE IN THE PORN WORLD SAY, SPYDER JONES, YOU SHOULD THINK ASSHOLE
EVAN SEINFELD, ER, SPYDER JONES. NO RELATION TO SPIKE.
EVAN "I AM A JEW!" SEINFELD is married to the pathological liar TERA PATRICK. Which could go a long way toward explaining why he changed his name to SPYDER JONES in the first place.
TERA PATRICK TOLD US SHE WAS A PIRATE FIREWOMAN. HERE WE SEE SHE WAS ONLY HALF RIGHT. SHE AIN'T NO FIREWOMAN
Now Seinfeld, perhaps profitting because of upbrand market confusion with the FUNNY Jew who shares his last name, gets raped on TV, postures wildly for the kids on the MTV, and now does porn.
Yeah, that's right. We're playa-hating.
And we hate him. So fuck you.
More Wednesday. Say "goodbye" Spyder...
"GOODBYE!"
