The April 26th, 2004 issue of SKULLGAME aired some deep, deep, deep inside the fence porn gossip, innuendo and hearsay. And while the few poorly spelled, touchingly illiterate emails have trickled in to complain about our overridingly unsympathetic treatment of all involved, many more have asked that we continue. To which we say, "continue what?"

BUY YELLOWMAN: OFFICIAL SUPPLIER OF SKULLGAME PHARMACEUTICALS

NEWSFUCKINGFLASH: HEROIN IS HEALTHY! SHOOT UP FOR LIFE, AMERICA!

"HAVE WE HIT BOTTOM YET, CAP'N?" WHAT A SUBMARINE LOOKS LIKE

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Murderess, Multimillionaire and Media Whore COURTNEY LOVE has, as part of God's long term plan of holy vengeance and punishment for the wicked, been sent into mass media centers all over America to make manifest her, and by extension HIS, hatred for our instinctive interests in car wrecks. And eyes.

Toward this end Love recently decided to meet R&B hunk Usher wearing only a lacy blue thong when he arrived backstage at that hen house of a show for aging housewives "The View."

Usher, after averting his eyes because they "burn. Oh God, they burn," went on to ask the question that while WE are hoping to never have to ask, will inevitably have to be asked anytime anyone meets Ms. Love until she is loved by the world again, "Where are your clothes, baby?"

SKULLGAME'S NEWEST IRREGULARLY OCCURRING FEATURE: ASK A GUY WHO HATES YOU

YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT SHIRT YOU'RE WEARING. ASSHOLE.

DEAR "GUY WHO HATES YOU": Turns out DARREN JAMES is Patient Zero in this whole HIV porn scare and not LARA [ROXX]. Like you have any fucking idea what you're talking about. Prick.

LARA ROXX WONDERS IF COCK FUCK JAY LENO THINKS IT'S FUNNY WHEN A COP GETS SHOT TOO

ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER: You know what you should do? You should choke on my long fat cock. Thanks for writing. Nooooo...just kidding. Listen, LARA ROXX, according to those who have seen her, worked with her and were willing to gossip with us about her was "a walking venereal disease." Much like your mother. Thanks for writing. Nooooo...just kidding. Seriously though, LESIONS and SCABS while possibly cool names for your kids are not the names that are going to gloss anything you should put your cock in. Though it hasn't seemed to stop you, you cocksucker you. Thanks for writing you fucking nut jumper. Just kidding. Prick.

RACE MIXER BEYONCE KNOWLES GETS READY TO MARRY A NEGRO

THE SEXIEST WHITE WOMAN IN AMERICA?

White woman BEYONCE KNOWLES has recently announced her intention to marry rap Negro Millionaire JAY-Z. The Grammy-winning star, 22, will join other white women--MARIAH CAREY, VANESSA WILLIAMS, and JANET JACKSON--in jumping the race barrier and marrying into the love that dare not speak its name. We can only hope this fine example of white womanhood has thought this through carefully: but what about the kids?!?!

And in a final note, she is also getting her own waxwork sculpture at London's Madame Tussauds -- complete with a mechanized wiggling derriere.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY THE SAME: PARIS HILTON

A STILL FROM THE MOVIE...MINUS THE COCK IN THE MOUTH PART

CHATSWORTH (SkullGame) -- RED LIGHT DISTRICT has recently announced its acquisition of skank rights to the Rick Solomon-directed opus A NIGHT IN PARIS wherein the hotel heiress takes a load of coconut squeezings on the chin.

BRAVO, COCONUT SQUEEZINGS!!!