Mack Avenue Skullgame
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04.23.07
THE SKULLGAME TRIBUTE TO ONE-LEGGED MULTIMILLIONAIRE SLUTS & OLD BROADS NAMED PAUL MCCARTNEY WHO USED TO LOVE 'EM. PLUS: A VARIETY OF SAUSAGE & BRITNEY SPEARS & ALEC BALDWIN IN A FATHER'S DAY TRIBUTE TO "FUCKING DUMB BITCH" DAUGHTER. WHO HE LOVES.

THIS very, very HIGH post-weekend version of SkullGame is being brought to you by SkullGame Records in association with Furious Homosexual Productions, a division of Mike LaVella and their newest release.

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YES. MY FRIEND. YOU MAY. FROM SOMEONE ELSE.



HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY WAS A SLUT WAAAAAY BEFORE SHE BECAME A MULTIMILLIONAIRED ONE-LEGGED SLUT. IN AN IRONICALLY RELATED NOTE: PAUL MC CARTNEY TURNS 64.

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HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY AND "FRIEND". WITH A COCK.

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- HEATHER MILLS MC CARTNEY was reportedly embarrassed on her transatlantic flight earlier this week when her mile-high dancing skills failed to impress passengers.

Fresh from appearing on "Dancing With the Stars" last Monday night, Mills and her "dancing" "partner" Jonathan Roberts boarded a flight from Los Angeles to London, so Mills could spend time with her ticket-to-ride and daughter Beatrice. Britain's The Sun claims Mills was asked by camerapeople for ABC -- who were also onboard the flight -- to show off a few moves.

The Virgin Airlines pilot announced over the speaker that Mills would be performing -- but only one passenger clapped at the end of her mini-show.

A passenger says, "It was totally embarrassing for everyone concerned and all a bit shambolic. We had no idea we'd have to be watching a one-legged ho do some sort of wildly spasmodic watusi. We thought she was going to do what she did best." When asked what that was, the passenger a bit before offering, "the whole mouth sex thing."

A spokesperson for Virgin adds, "It was not our captain's idea."



BRITNEY SPEARS CLAIMS THE WORLD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HER. HER FAT. HER BALD HEAD. OR HER VOMIT.

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WHITE POWER!!!

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BRITNEY SPEARS' father has criticized the troubled pop princess' decision to sack her longtime manager Larry Rudolph, after he forced her to go into rehab. Rudolph reportedly was sacked last week, reportedly because of his intervention after a difficult start to the year, during which Spears partied every night for a month and then shaved her head before going "nigger knocking" and spraypainting swastikas on local synagogues.

Jamie Spears claims Rudolph was chosen by the singer's family to encourage her to seek help at Malibu, Calif.'s Promises Clinic in February. He tells Page Six, "When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control. Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life."

Spears, in response, issued the following statement, "It's sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman's love. Or vomit. Or fat. Or bald head. Or increasingly erratic behavior of the dirty pussy variety. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now. Especially as it relates to love, vomit, fatness and baldheadedness."

A friend tells Page Six Britney was embarrassed to be sent to rehab when she was merely suffering "post-partum depression."



FATHER OF THE YEAR ALEC BALDWIN & FAMILY CAT

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"I LOVE YOU, YOU GODDAMNED CAT YOU!!!"

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- Actor ALEC BALDWIN has addressed a leaked answering machine rant he left for his 11-year-old daughter -- by refusing to speak about it saying, "I think my goddamned message speaks for itself!"

TMZ.com leaked the three-minute message on the Internet Thursday after Baldwin's visitation rights for his daughter Ireland were temporarily suspended by a California judge. In the taped rant, the actor blasted his daughter for failing to pick up her phone when he called her from New York at a designated time.

But the 49-year-old actor explained himself Friday on his Web site: "Although I have been told by numerous people who better keep their goddamned yaps shuts not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their stupid asshole kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child," he wrote. "Especially my bitch of a daughter. I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my little asshole. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. (Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case.

Bitches.


 


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