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02.21.07
BALDILOCKS BRITNEY CHANGES TAMPON, NEWS NETWORKS ON STANDBY FOR THE SOTHEBY'S AUCTION OF SAID SANITARY NAPKIN. PLUS: HOT BITCHES KICKED OUT OF "NOT GAY" MILITARY, DAYTONA 500 DRUNKEN METH-FUELED RALLY, TOM BRADY'S BABY MAMA DRAMA & OL' GAY CHESNEY

IN HONOR of BRITNEY SPEARS going S-K-I-N-H-E-A-D we're running our first ad from White Man Rise Up Cosmetics.

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BALD, BUZZED, BISEXUAL & BACK IN REHAB...IT'S THAT BITCH BRITNEY!

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"RACE TRAITORS BEWARE, JEW BAITERS COME HERE!!!"


LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- BRITNEY SPEARS goose-stepped into rehab Tuesday after a bizarre weekend that included shaving her head, getting a new tattoo, chasing some niggers and huffing glue.

Spears' ex-manager, the Jew Larry Rudolph, told People magazine's Web site that Spears, 25, had voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed anti-Zionist treatment facility.

"We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her very heavy extended family of DWBs, Aryan Low Riders and other known associates and friends at this time," Rudolph was quoted as saying, with Skrewdriver blaring in the background.

Since she announced her separation from near-Nigra KEVIN FEDERLINE in November, Spears, the mother of two young quasi-race-mixed sons that she hasn't seen since November, has been seen partying with race mixer PARIS HILTON, and her appearance has been increasingly sloppy.

On Friday night, Spears grabbed an electrical shaver at a Los Angeles salon and shaved her head completely bald, saluted, screamed "HIYA HITLER!!!", and ran off down the street screaming, "BEANERS!!!"

Video on KABC-TV showed a newly shorn Spears with swastika tattoos on the back of her neck as she sat for another tattoo -- a pair of red-and-pink lips below a Hitler mustache on her wrist.



AND from earlier in the week....

THIS version of SkullGame is being brought to you by our proud sponsors at USA Hockey: The Sport With The Sticks. And Ice. That's Not Gay.

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"IT'S NOT FIGURE SKATING!!!!"



DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL....AND DON'T BE KICKING OUT NO MORE HOT BITCHES

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STAFF SGT. MICHELLE MANHART KICKED OUT OF THE MILITARY FOR CONDUCT UNBECOMING A HOMOSEXUAL. [CURIOUSLY, THE PHOTO ITSELF WAS TAKEN BY ERIC GAY. COINCIDENCE? YOU BE THE JUDGE!!!]


TEXAS (SkullGame) -- In a move that baffled all 105,000 military personnel serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, countries with a tradition of heavy religious fundamentalism and therefore very few women of easy virtue, the U.S. Air Force, the self-same Air Force that brought us such gay-centric entertainment as TOM CRUISE'S TOP GUN and, well, Top Gun, kicked out U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. MICHELLE MANHART for posing for a photo in San Antonio on Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007. Manhart, who was featured in the February issue of Playboy magazine, said Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2007, that she has been removed from active duty.

When notified of her dismissal military police officer Peter Guy, after 10 minutes of inconsolable mumbling said, "this is really not going to help. Oh well. I think I'll go back to showering with men and getting shot at by dudes in dresses. Thank YOU, Joint Chiefs of Fucking Staff."

When reached for a quote the "Joint Chiefs of Fucking Staff" were too busy giving each other back rubs and not asking or telling to comment.



NEW ENGLAND QUARTERBACK TOM BRADY BEING PUNISHED BY GOD FOR FUCKING WAY MORE THAN HIS QUOTIENT OF HOT BITCHES WHO WILL NOT GIVE US THE TIME OF DAY ON ACCOUNT OF US NOT BEING FOOTBALL FLINGING FRUITS: A PLAYER HATER'S GUIDE

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THE RECORD SCREECHES TO A STOP: AFTER BUMPING THE BROAD ON THE LEFT FOR THE BROAD ON THE RIGHT, TOM BRADY GOT SMOTE BY AN ANGRY BUT JUST GOD.

NEW YORK (SkullGame) -- According to a report in the New York Post in a surprise to no one with eyes and a basic understanding of the intricacies of finance in America, actress BRIDGET MOYNAHAN is expecting...to get paid...and the Patriots quarterback TOM BRADY is the payee, er, father, even though the two are no longer a couple.

The aging 36-year-old bonny Irish lass Moynahan — who dated the wee young 29-year-old Brady for two years before breaking up in December — is more than three months into the pregnancy called "a gift from God," by the Player Haters of America [PHA]. This will be the first, and last, child for Moynahan and Brady. This will also mark the first, and not the last, check for Moynahan from Brady.

Since the breakup with Moynahan, Brady has been linked romantically to Brazilian supermodel GISELE BUNDCHEN. According to the Post, Brady has been seen coming and going from the 26-year-old Bundchen's apartment building in the SoHo area of New York City. Bundchen was also seen in the Patriots' locker room after New England's divisional playoff win over the Chargers pleading with her God to grant her a paycheck in perpetuity pregnancy as well.

Tom Brady could not be reached for comment but is widely suspected as being over at the Triple O's in Boston drinking. And shit.



KENNY CHESNEY STILL NOT GAY. AMERICA STILL NOT SURE.

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NOPE. NOT GAY ATTTTT ALL.

FIRE ISLAND (SkullGame) -- Country music star KENNY CHESNEY has denied rumours he split from RENEE ZELLWEGER because he is "um, gay, and stuff."

The couple checked the word "fraud" on their legal separation documents when they split, which fuelled rumours about the singer's rampant and flouncing sexuality.

Speaking for the first time about the annulment to news show 60 Minutes he says, "The only fraud that was committed was me thinking that I knew what it was like... that I really understood what it was like to be married to someone with a vagina, and I really didn't.

"We thought the least harmful (stated reason) was fraud because it (is) kind of broad... doesn't specify (the reason for the separation). And boy... we were wrong! And I when I say 'boy' I just mean it as a general expression of um, you know...."

Speculation Chesney was gay grew because Zellweger was the one citing fraud as the reason for the split. He says, "It's not true. Period. I did not have sex with that woman Monica Lewinski. Maybe I should have come out and said, 'No, I'm not (gay),' but I didn't want to draw any more attention to the gay. And I didn't have to prove to nobody that I wasn't (gay). Much."

But Chesney insists he has no regrets about marrying the Oscar winner: "I loved her... It was real." Zellweger, 37, and Chesney, 38, married just four months after they met in 2005 and split four months later.


 


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