AND in response to Monday's sharply worded rebutall to a Presidential attempt to talk us down to 2 for 5, ladies and gentleman, George W. Bush.
MY MESSAGE IS THE SAME FOR SKULLGAME AS IT IS FOR AMERICA.......
"HOMO'S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE...UP YOUR ASS." KEITH URBAN'S REDISCOVERED LYRICAL VITALITY A THING OF BEAUTY, CONCERN.
"HEY!!! IS THAT A FAGGOT OVER THERE?!?!? WHAT? OH. NEVERMIND."
NASHVILLE (SkullGame) - KEITH URBAN has checked himself into a rehabilitation treatment center for alcohol abuse, less than four months after the Grammy-winning country singer's marriage to actress NICOLE KIDMAN.
Urban released a statement Friday that said he entered rehab Thursday night with his wife by his side. His publicist would not give the location of the rehab center.
"I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole and the ones that love and support me, but when I realized that I married a goddamned cast-off of Tom Cruise's...well...I don't think there's a man alive that'd blame me for having a lil' drinkipoo." Urban said in the statement.
Urban, who turns 39 on Oct. 26, has publicly acknowledged a former addiction to cocaine, crack, heroin, crystal meth, robitussen D/M cough syrup, McDonalds McShamrock shakes and "scooby snacks" but his publicist said Urban was currently being treated for alcohol abuse.
"One can never let one's guard down on recovery, and I'm afraid that I have," the statement reads. "But it's not my fault. One thing that I learned from being an addict that it's NEVER my fault. It's just NOT. I mean...just LOOK at me. I'm a successful, handsome white guy. I've got everything to lose, you think I'm gonna fuck that up? No way, jose. I mean, I could see if I was some goddamned minority, but I'm not."
A Country Weekly magazine reader poll this year named him country music's sexiest man.
His new CD, "Love, Pain, & the whole crazy thing," will be released Nov. 7 as scheduled, but he will postpone all upcoming promotional appearances.
"Don't y'all worry, though" said Urban. As soon as I learn to live with the stigma of marrying this shrew, I'll be back. Medicated as all get out, but that's to be expected. No one can live with this kind of shame sober. The one thing that keeps me up nights is that great question that NO one can answer, but we always ask:
Was Tom Cruise a homo BEFORE he married her? Or did she do this to him? I guess only time will tell."
Urban then sat back down in the wheelbarrow and was carted off behind the door marked " Drunk, Successful and Possibly Queer."
COURTNEY LOVE: "I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED ED NORTON." ED NORTON WAKES UP SCREAMING & SCREAMING
COURTNEY LOVE, BACK WHEN SHE "LOOKED" "GOOD". MINUS THE METH BREATH, THE PUSSY THAT SMELLS LIKE PEE, AND THE ENDLESS MONOLOGUE ON MUNG & HER RELATION TO
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- COURTNEY LOVE has slammed her own taste in men, vowing she should have married ex-fiance EDWARD NORTON, who was shivering in the hall closet at the time of this reading.
Love was engaged to Norton in the late 1990s during his "only dopes and really cool people do dopes" period and credits the actor with helping her deal with her depression in the wake of her late husband Kurt Cobain's "suicide" in 1994.
But the 42-year-old now deeply regrets dumping Norton for a man who was only after her money...over all of her many other attributes like, um......well, her money. She tells Britain's Sunday Times, "I'm working on my man-karma right now. I've either had the very good guys or the very bad. I should have married Edward. "I left him for a bad man who stole all my money. I left Ed Norton, who was good and wonderful, for an average bad man who was in A&R. It's upsetting."
Or perfect depending on how you, or Ed Norton, thinks about it.
A GODDAMNED JUDGE ROY BEAN SKULLGAME NEWSFUCKINGFLASH REPORT: ANNA NICOLE SMITH’S “KEEP-A-NIGGA BABY” SCHEME EXPOSED IN DODGY DNA DEBACLE; ACTRESS FORMULATES PLEA OF STUPIDITY. LEGAL EXPERTS PREDICT LANDSLIDE WIN. PLUS: HITLER, GEORGE BUSH: DISCUSS
ANNA NICOLE SMITH, VISIBLY DISTRAUGHT BY THE PROSPECT OF NOT EARNING MONEY VIA SUCCUBI SUCKING-OFFINGS, EYES A POTENTIAL TARGET AND BEGINS COUNTING HIS CALORIES FRIDAY MORNING BEFORE ENCOUNTERING TOE NUMBER TEN AND DECIDING TO LEAVE IT ALL TO THE DRUGS.
NASSAU (SkullGame) – In a not-so-well-thought-out career hop from ambulance chasing to chubby chasing, probable alcoholic Wayne Munroe, attorney for famed gold-digger and accused water buffalo ANNA NICOLE SMITH, told SkullGame reporter’s Friday afternoon that the full-time beast of burden/part-time “reality” television whore has refused to submit her newborn daughter to doctors for DNA testing as previously requested by the ex-boyfriend who is currently listed as “poor motherfucker” on six-week-old Dannielyn Hope Marshall Stern’s birth certificate.
Howard K. Stern, who claims no relations to the shock jock sensation of the same name, has been quoted as “not being totally sold” on his paternity after discovering a crayon-scrawled “business plan” while rummaging through Smith’s My Little Pony diary that supposedly read: “Phase One: Discard Underpants. Phase Two: … Phase Three: Profit.”
Smith, in an official statement delivered to SkullGame late last week, refuted the allegations by assuring the public that there was absolutely no fucking way that she ever could, or ever would, be able to read. “Not with these titties,” the “actress” said, to which all in attendance shrugged their shoulders, bobbled their heads, shut their notebooks, and started formulating mental plans to cover more easily debatable topics including, but not limited to, GEORGE MICHAEL'S heterosexuality.
But relentless Jew Stern, in a follow-up interview, told us that he “refused to be the one getting fucked out of money.”
“This is not the way this is supposed to work.”
In related news, Smith oversaw the burial of her 20 year old son Daniel Thursday morning, who died, on a post-partum visit to see Smith on Sept. 10th, from a lethal drug cocktail.
A police investigation is currently underway, though an individual close to the pussy, on condition of anonymity, told us that he believes the official cause of death to be suicide, with the motivation being “pretty fucking obvious, man.”
