THIS edition of SkullGame, in honor of the international recognition for bloodthirsty fucking Commie fucks worldwide, is brought to you by CHINAMAN PROPHYLACTICS...The Prophlylactic to wear...
...WHEN YOU WANT TO BEAT THAT ASS LIKE IT WAS CHINESE...
OH, DANNY, BOY: ANOTHER BALDWIN, ANOTHER CRACK-FUELED NEWS ITEM
"SNOOOO...CHONAMIE!!! HAHAHA...WHEW...WHEW....I DON'T KNOW IF I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE JOE ROGAN. BUT I SMOKE ROCK!!! HAHAHA...OOOOO...."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Actor DANIEL BALDWIN has been arrested for cocaine possession at a Southern California motel.
Of course, he has.
The 45-year-old star -- a member of the famous Baldwin family -- was arrested on April 22, after police received a complaint about loud noise coming from a room at a motel in Santa Monica, Calif. Police responded to the call and found Baldwin with a drug pipe in his hands and another man, SkullGame writer, Mr. WINSTON ANTHONY HUNTER [a.k.a "CORNOHOLIO"], hiding in the bathroom.
According to Lieutenant Frank Fabrega of the Santa Monica Police department, there was also a "small amount of cocaine" in the $75 a night room. When questioned by police, both men admitted to being high on illegal drugs and were arrested for possession of cocaine, possession of narcotic paraphernalia and being under the influence of narcotics.
Of course, they did.
Baldwin spent the night in the Santa Monica Police Department jail and was released Sunday, when he posted $10,000 bail. This isn't the troubled actor's first brush with the law. In 1998 he was found running naked, high on crack-cocaine, through New York City's posh Plaza Hotel.
Police had been called after receiving complaints that Baldwin was watching pornographic films at an extremely high volume.
Of course, he was.
VINNIE'S INTERVIEW WITH A NIGERIAN
DEAR MR. ROSE: WE WANT TO TRANSFER OF TWENTY TWO MILLION UNITED STATES
DOLLARS INTO YOUR BANKS ACCOUNT.
STEVEN PERCIVAL: Hello Misters Rose: I am Dr STEVEN PERCIVAL Telex/Money transfer Director of Nigeria apex Bank (Central Bank Of Nigeria).
VINNIE ROSE: Nice to meet youse. What can I do you for?
SP: Well, since my assumption of office on appointment by the present Democratic Government, I have been able to ream the image of this Nation by offsetting most due contract sums owed by the Federal Government of Nigeria to foreign contractors in the past years.
VR: That's barely's English, my Black friend. You know, I ain't stupid. We got plenty of moulis around here and not one of them is named Percival. So, so far this is shaping up about as kosher as Turkish pizza.
SP: ...On the process of these payments, I discovered through investigation that my predecessor attempted to move out the above-mentioned sum out side Nigeria but was unable as he was removed out of office unaware. Now, I have concluded all necessary arrangements for the smooth transfer of the money to your account on trust. As you will have 30% of the Twenty Two million US dollars after a successful transfer into your account abroad, part of my 70% will be used on importation of valuable goods and purchasing of cars through you in Nigeria...
VR: Hahaha...a Negro giving me money, ah hahaha....THAT'S rich!!! And right on, on those fucking Nigerian automobiles, um, like the, um, well there's the UmWahWah...and the, um, Omobago ...hahah....
[phone connection lost]
CHARLIE SHEEN & GAY PORN: ALONE AGAIN. NATURALLY.
"WHAT?!?! SO HE'S WEARING EYE MAKE UP?!?! SO WHAT?!?!? WE'RE NOT GAY!!! UM, PROBABLY..."
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- CHARLIE SHEEN's manager has accused the actor's estranged wife DENISE RICHARDS of spreading malicious lies about him.
Mark Burg is furious about Richards' claims Sheen made death threats about her, is addicted to gambling and enjoys gay porn -- and alleges she is using dirty tactics to threaten Sheen's custody claim over the couple's two children.
He tells SkullGame, "All of this is nothing more than non-gay child custody issues. This all started because Charlie, a heterosexual, wanted 50-50 custody. When Denise said no, Charlie said, 'Then let's watch some gay porn and let a judge decide.' The next day, she comes out with a bunch of [bleep] claims. Did he gamble on sports? Big deal. Every guy I know does. Show me a guy who hasn't seen gay porn on the Internet. Does that mean he's not a good, heterosexual father? No. This guy lives for his gay porn. And she drummed all this up so he can't see his gay porn. It is the single worst behavior of a parent I have ever seen to impede a free, white man's access to gay porn!!!."
Burg also attacks Richards' decision to use the press to battle Sheen: "There are groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. Denise needs to go to National Enquirer Anonymous. Or Anti-Gay Porn Anonymous. This shouldn't be fought in the press. Present company excepted.
"But is Charlie upset about the gay porn? Yes. Did he threaten, in conversations with ROBERT BLAKE, to kill her? No. Would he kill her? For gay porn?!?! Probably, um, not. No way. Probably. I think."
HATH NOT A JEW EYES? THE MAX STEINER STORY BY STEELY ROB
MAX HARDCORE. NEXT UP: FIDDLER ON THE ROOF
“Taking part in a MAX HARDCORE shoot is like watching a bull fight,” BRANDON IRON told us prior to our meeting Max in person, “everyone involved is cool, calm and collected. No one ever raises their voice; it’s total professionalism all the way. But in the end, you know the bull’s gonna get slaughtered.”
Max’s hardcore scenes are infamous for being the most extreme, while still being within the limits of the law. And then, they’re often not.
Last time, we were talking to Max about how he got started in the business. He was about to continue when LAYLA RIVERA walked in.
Rivera is Max’s latest girl, which means she lives with him, is in a good deal of his scenes, and acts as her pseudo-agent for outside work. She had just spent the day in shackles and restraints in an S&M scene.
Just out of the shower, and wearing micro shorts and high-heeled porn shoes, Rivera looked tight and thin, which made her large fake breasts seem even more out of proportion. Before we knew it, she had pulled down her halter top at the wave of Max’s hand, and was sitting on his desk with her new assets out, all the while multitasking by taking care of some personal business on the phone.
“When you see the whole chassis, you’ll see that it’s a marvel of human engineering and human genetics,” he said.
THE WATER, THE BOWL, MAX'S HAT BEHIND HER. IN THE LITERARY WORLD WE CALL THIS FORESHADOWING.
We tried to get Max to elaborate on who exactly he was referring to when talked about the low quality porn that was so present when he first broke in. But he wouldn’t. Maybe it was Vivid?
“Regardless of what type of porno that you like, there’s no denying that Vivid put forth a tremendous effort and spent a lot of resources to make a really fine product: the best that they could do. I don’t think it’s really fair to put them in a position of not being erotic for the hardcore strokers. They certainly have a large market. There’s a much larger percentage of people that would feel comfortable and enjoy seeing a Vivid movie than would enjoy seeing one of mine. I’m quite certain of that. They put out a great product and my hat’s off to them.
Most of those features are shot on film! And if you have any understanding of putting together a movie, anytime you have film in the mix, it raises the cost two or three-fold. It also makes logistics of shooting a sex scene much more problematic in that you have to change reels every 15 minutes maximum. I think they’re doing a tremendous job in their lighting, their sets, and their costumes. I don’t feel comfortable being compared to them; and I shouldn’t be compared to them. I could have gone in that direction if I had first been introduced to PAUL THOMAS.”
So what WAS it that sucked so bad?
“What really peeved me in was BUTTMAN. I thought it was crap at the time. But what I didn’t realize 'til later was that the production values and the “crap” (as it were, the sub-par elements) were in fact the man’s genius. At first the shaky camera work and the talking, and the going up and down, up and down... headache camera, I called it... I said that I could do better.
And then there was ED POWERS, who would use incandescent lights for his sets. He had a weiner about three inches long, and hair growing up over half of that...and to this day, I’m mystified at the popularity of that. Be that as it may – I make no judgments about it – at the time, I thought I could do a much better job.
What I discovered was that the more elaborate the story, the more the sex would suffer. Some of the best stuff I had seen – the old seven-minute reels: GOLDEN GIRLS, DIAMOND COLLECTION, SWEDISH EROTICA – and in seven minutes, they would have an introduction and progress to five to six minutes of fucking. And it was well done.”
What about James Avalon’s film work for Red Light District?
“It’s fantastic. I admire what he does. I don’t have the patience [for stuff like that]. I would never have lasted in Hollywood, where a single 90-minute movie could take five years from ‘ok, we’re going to do this’ to it coming out in the theaters. So that’s why, despite the advice not to from lawyers and distributors, that I decided to make short stories – vignettes – and make it as hard as possible: gaping anal, exposed, shaved fucking pussy so the girls look more youthful and innocent, and we’re going to focus in on the fucking and sucking.”
And speaking of fucking and sucking, let’s take a look at MAX FAKTOR 16, which a propos stars BRANDON IRON, our favorite Canadian porner taking the lead as Max Steiner takes a back seat as assistant camera man.
This movie is an aberration in the storied Max line: scenes not featuring Max, and scenes with more than one guy. You can get a look at pre-boob job Layla Rivera in this movie as she tag-team fucks a baker’s dozen’s worth of guys with HAILEY YOUNG, right after helping Max plough KRISSY in the ass and give her that special, shiny, mysterious Max glow.
Finally, KELLY WELLS does the only thing that she can do best: supply a thoroughly vile, revolting, feral sexual performance. Note the arm and ankle restraints. We’ll be hearing more about those next time.....
