Mack Avenue Skullgame
Vinnie Pick of the Week
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Southern Man don't need
you around anyhow!
[ Full Review ]








03.24.06
SKULLGAME STANDS TALL AGAIN. MOSTLY BY LAYING DOWN & HAVING THE POLE SLUT GET US DRINKS, ASPIRIN. PLUS: CHARLIE SHEEN TRYING TO GET HISSELF KILT, STAR JONES IN TITTY HORROR & MR. KATE MOSS HIGH ON LIFE. & HEROIN. IN EERIE ECHO OF OUR WEEK AT SXSW

AND the SkullGame personal of the week was forwarded to us by Musashi. While the engrish is not the best, you probably get the fucking point. Help this motherfucker. Help him. By sending snack foods. Or something.

Japanese Transsexual R&B singer Looking for some Help

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...ANY KIND OF HELP AT ALL.....

Reply to: comm-143084284@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-03-18, 4:36PM

I am a Japanese transsexual finger, from East New York, Brooklyn.

I was doing my demo and my picture to be shopped.

But about 2 years ago, I was robbed and raped.

And then 10 months later, I was raped robbed kidnapped and assulted in the same time again.

And then one more time was I robbed, raped, tied, tortured, and traumaed.

Due to the incidents, I got a Majpr Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, so there was no choice but i had to stop what i was doing.

aAnd dur to the mental sickness I became not to be able to work, so I have to move places to places...while I was doin ghtat, I lost my music, photos and my contact with my people that were helping me.

I wanna get back on track and start anew.

If you are producer, songwriter, studio owner, composer etc...and could help me gettin back to the business, that would be appraciated.

I appraciate any help I could get.

Please get back to me.

Thanks for the reading.


Help is on the way Musashi. The only kind of help a DAVE DIETRICH can give. Penis help.



BULLSHIT LIES SURROUNDING 9/11 SO OBVIOUS, FINALLY NOTICED BY CHARLIE SHEEN. COULD ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. BE THE NEXT TO FUCKING NOTICE?!?!

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"OH YEAHHHH...AND YOUR PANTS CAN CAUSE YOU CANCER....IT'S TRUE!!!" CHARLIE SHEEN SEEING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE MILITARY-APPAREL COMPLEX.


LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Actor CHARLIE SHEEN refuses to accept the official and obviously false explanation behind the terrorist atrocities of September 11, 2001, and believes the U.S. government covered up what really happened, in order to prevent him from banging yet another ho and getting away with it.

Conspiracy theorist Sheen claims New York City's Twin Towers fell as the result of a "controlled demolition...of my ability to construct a credible cover story on the night in question." Talking on the radio show The Alex Jones Show on the GGN network, he said, "It seems to me like 19 amateurs with box-cutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75 percent of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions. Specifically regarding how I could have been at Jason's house when Jason's house was at Ground Zero over on White St."

He added, "It is up to us to reveal the truth. As we see it. To our wives. It is up to us because we owe it to the families, we owe it to the victims, we owe it to everyone's life who was drastically altered, honorifically, that day and forever. We owe it to them to uncover what happened when my cover story fell apart like so much wet sand. It is to this cause that I've dedicated approximately the next 30 minutes of my life which, coincidentally, is as long as it'll be before my ho shows up."



MR. KATE MOSS "TAKES" "DRUGS" IN FRONT OF REPORTER

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"THIS ONE'S GOT A FINE, PIQUANT BOUQUET....IT'S QUITE FRANKLY THE FINEST CRACK I'VE SMOKED SINCE YOU STARTED READING THIS SENTENCE."


LONDON (SkullGame) -- "Troubled" "rocker" PETE DOHERTY openly took heroin and crack cocaine throughout an interview with Rolling Stone magazine -- shocking a journalist not working for SkullGame.

Writer Mark Binelli met the Babyshambles frontman and former "boyfriend" of dirty-footed cokehead and supermodel KATE MOSS in a rundown flat in the Hackney area of London. Binelli says, "Over the next three hours, Doherty will also smoke crack, shoot heroin and take an ecstasy pill. He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us. He offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I, er, um, decline. Yeah, I decline. The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes incoherent, though occasionally he seems confused."

Doherty is due in a London court Thursday to answer drug possession charges. He is accused of carrying an assortment of illegal substances recovered by police in incidents in December and January. And February. And the first few days of March. And yesterday. And today, just minutes after your eyes finish reading this sentence.




CRUISE CLEARS NON-GAY STUNT WITH "FIANCEE" HOLMES

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"THIS NEXT STUNT IS CALLED 'HEY YOU, HERE'S MY ROOM KEY!'"


LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Non-Gay Hollywood superstar TOM CRUISE only agreed to do all of his own stunts in the upcoming movie Mission: Impossible 3 after getting permission from pregnant fiancee KATIE HOLMES.

The actor proposed to the impressionable Holmes, 16 years his junior, in Paris last summer following a whirlwind romance of couch jumping, chest beating and otherwise wild public demonstrations of behavior deemed to be "heterosexual iin nature" -- and they are set to wed later this year after she gives birth to their first child.

Cruise says, "She trusts me. She loves me. We show her the cut footage of my stunts. The car chase ones. The greased pole ones. The backrub ones. The locker room ones. And, well, she digs it. She's fun. And stuff. Like I can roll her on her stomach and call her 'Bob.' That's why I'm marrying her."




IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHO STAR JONES IS, THE FACT THAT HER TITS HAVE EXPLODED IN NO WAY MITIGATES YOUR EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY.

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BEFORE?!?! AFTER?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING US!!!!


LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- TV host STAR JONES Reynolds has undergone cosmetic surgery to have her rather large and pendulous breasts lifted, in the vain hope that it will, in some way, ameliorate her otherwise outstandingly macabre attributes that have in total contributed to staffers nicknaming her "Beefalo" and/or "Snuffaluffagus."

The recently married co-presenter of ABC's The View has spoken out about her procedure following reports her elective breast lift procedure went wrong and she suffered "critical complications. Namely: giant killer tits. Wandering the savannahs. Wild. And dangerous."

Sources close to Jones Reynolds claim she was taken to Santa Monica, Calif.'s Saint John's Health Center, where she underwent a blood transfusion on Friday night. The "View" star's husband, Al Reynolds, also found himself in hospital over the weekend, after suffering two lacerations to his head after slipping while fleeing, or attempting to, at the gym.


 


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