Dane

Rating: FIVE "Alllllll Over The Place" BUSTED NUTS

BLOOD. SNOT. PISS. VOMIT.

You turned on yet? No? Fuck. Tough crowd.

How about THIS? SHIT? DIRTY POOPY SHITS?

I can see you warming up to this now. BLOODY SNOTTY PISSY VOMITING SHITTY DIRTY POOPY SHIT PANTS!!!!

Fuck it, babe. That was greeaaaatttt....Now get me a beer.

"I FORCE GIRLS TO DRINK MY PISS, FIST-FUCK THEM, REAM THEIR ASSES, AND DRILL THEIR THROATS UNTIL THEY PUKE! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO THEY ARE, WHERE THEY CAME FROM, OR HOW OLD THEY ARE!" -- MAX HARDCORE, HUMANITARIAN

You see it takes a real skill to associate that which is typically not associated with the ass-cleansing function and make it ride on the same track as the load-extracting tract. In this instance, even though the Wizard of Oz who runs this whole MACK AVENUE deal has declared a black out on ol' MAX HARDCORE, mostly on account of the eventuality that he will end up in the same jail that houses PHIL SPECTOR, in the same cell formerly occupied by ROBERT "BARETTA" BLAKE, that had been specifically reserved for The Knifing Negro, OJ, tis only Max who could, and does, pull this whole PEEPEE POOPY CA-CA thing right off like a prom dress.

Now there was some darkly murmured rumor mongering concerning Max's early stage departure from Dane and the vid doesn't trade so heavily on him being in this thing instead choosing to cruise on the genius title alone but he's pictured there....fucking, sticking and drawing choco-sticks from shit pipes and making it do what any good porn needs to do: create a sense that you're about to go straight to fucking hell for participating in activity that though not technically illegal is probably highly immoral and likely to disappoint your mother.

Well that's just your fucking fantasy.

In reality?

To paraphrase the Hustler store logo: RELAX. IT'S ONLY SEX. IN THE ASSHOLE. WITH VISIBLE FECAL MATTER CLINGING TO THE FUCKSTICK.

Well this and big-tittied, copious-assed bitches fucking like they have no plans indeed of every turning 40. Which, given an association with Max, might be more than a little prescient. -- VINNIE ROSE

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