Totally Tasteless Video

Rating: FIVE "Like A Kind Of Penis Polident" BUSTED NUTS

NINE OLD COCKSUCKERS.... indeed. Sort of the same thought I had today standing around in the fucking Supermarket waiting for Grandma Goddamned Moses to do a feeble-hand pull of all 87 cents, in pennies, from her fucking purse so that she could pay for her 13th item, one over the express line limit, which happened to be? Yes. You may have guessed it: some shit to make her shit somewhat more to her shit-taking standard. But the box of this vid would have better served my purposes had it been emblazoned instead with what I was mumbling under my breathe: dirty old cocksucker with balky shit.

CANDY VEGAS: "OLD" & LOOKING TO GAG HER THROAT.

But this vid, brought to you by the genius if not obviously named house o' porn, TOTALLY TASTELESS VIDEO, features both old broads and "old" broads. The latter group is composed of hot-looking bitches over 35 maybe who are still hoping to show that they got it by gargling loads of loads with frenzied abandon (see: SHARON STONE. The former group, where my true preferences lie, are like my erstwhile supermarket slut: mothball reeking mothers of grandchildren who somehow have stumbled on the likes of me what's like to see them glazed like the donuts they most recently gummed for breakfast (see: WENDY ASON, star of SkullGame Reel Life Tragedy #6).

In any case this vid's got both. Well make that all three. The old ones, the "old" ones and copious amounts of my loads.

JUST PLAIN OL' OLD. AND PRONE TO MISUSING CARROTS. IN PLACE OF EX LAX.

Groaning and moaning in some palsied imitation of erotic excitement, almost here too readily confused with various attacks (lumbago, impetigo, nervous bowels, parkinsons, who the fuck knows?), these chicks fuck and suck with the kind of withering embrace that marks thems that can sense that the end is near. And I LOVE IT. Add in the fact that this is a GAGGING video, that is: hour after hour of unsuccessful attempts at deep throatology and the fact that there are any number of reasons an old broad might be gagging even with a joint in her mouth (ham sandwiches, a bolus of metamucil, creeping death) AND the sausage handlers that are with unrepentant joy plumbing the depths of dentures and spit, and well, man....it really doesn't get much better than this.

Stuff you want to see but are thanking God you don't have to DO in order to see?

You goddamned right. -- VINNIE ROSE

Buy It NOW!