WHAT happens when you mix one JIMMY THE "G", one ENGLISH BOB, a slut named NINA who will apparently do anything for a one-way plane ticket to Europe, a digital camera and instructions from VINNIE ROSE to bring home some SkullGame content that "plays to your strengths: cars and faggots"?
EDITORIAL FUCKING HILARITY.
MULTIMILLIONAIRE MURDERESS DENIES THE DENIAL OF EVERY DENIED DETAIL IN DRUG, DICK, & DUCK IN THE OVEN DRAMA; STEVE COOGAN DRAWS A NATIONS PITY
STEVE COOGAN, THE ALLEGED FUCKER, AS WELL AS NOW, APPARENTLY, FUCKEE, IN HAPPIER NON-PIG TIMES WITH HOT FRENCH BITCH. LO, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN...
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Elmer J. Fudd-esque COURTNEY LOVE has slammed 8-Balls, stoli and Red Bull, some crosstops and reports that she is expecting grossly maligned English comedian Steve Coogan's baby, declaring their relationship is purely platonic. Which, coming from a known lying skag like her is much more a public admission of ding dongery than was ever going to be good for Steve's Former Career: comedian.
Britain's News of the World claimed Love had burbled, "Yesh, I'm am pregnanisant with Steve's semen, but I'd rather not talk about our two-week 'relationship' and its copious amounts and bouts of analingus which, while it might be assumed is an Irish airline, is really just code for: diarrhea poop and Stevie's affection for same."
"IF YOU CAN HAVE A BABY FROM ASS SEX, WELL THEN I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABYYYY!!!
However, the 41-year-old "singer" has released an "official" "statement" through her "management" company, Sanctuary Artist Management, denying she is pregnant: "Courtney Love wishes to make it clear that she," reading from a wrinkled 7-11 bag, management continued, "denies recent stories suggesting she is pregnant or has had a relationship with Steve Coogan that involves his penis, her mouth, anus, or scabbified quim. She confirms that she and Steve are 'good' friends and have met a few times in Los Angeles."
Yesterday, Alan Partridge, Coogan's fake spokesperson, said, "He is astonished by this. This will have an anticipated serious and negative impact on the getting and accruing of other celebrity trim by Mr. Coogan what on account of the deleterious effects of public perception of him now being a diarrhea poop mouth."
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: HOW TO WRITE PERSONALS ADS THAT WORK!!!
LONG TIME GIRLFRIEND DIED LAST WEEKEND, NEED A DRINK TONIGHT
Date: 2005-08-21, 11:09PM PDT
My partner for 7 years passed on last weekend. She had been dying for over a year now and withered away to nothing. I would really like to have a drink with a woman tonight, just sit across from a pretty woman and talk, nothing else.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER RETURNS TO GREENWICH VILLAGE NIGHTCLUB CIRCUIT; RODE HOME BY FORMER MARLBORO MAN.
WHOOOOAAAA-HOOOOO, NELLIE.....
By JUDGE ROY BEAN
After a much celebrated break from the public eye; world class equine and certified intolerable bitch SARAH JESSICA PARKER was once again seen last Friday night leaving snail trails on bar seats and attempting to chew corn through chain link fences outside the ultra-chic Discotheque; leaving one onlooker wondering why she wasn’t wearing one of those “fucking shitbag things” city ordinance requires for all horses, and whores, working public streets.
The Sex in the City star was allegedly de-muzzled for only the second time this year by actor/husband/equestrian Matthew Broderick—the first time in nearly three months since being ousted by champion Giacomo at the 2005 Kentucky Derby. After having her feet nailed with a new pair of designer Pradas at a Neiman Marcus stable and being fit with a new Louis Vuitton saddle, as well as getting her mane did, Broderick allowed her to roam freely for 6 hours on Friday evening—only to be left pacing and distraught Saturday afternoon when she had still failed to return to their Midtown condo.
Parker, 40, had been seen cavorting with former co-star and prolific human handkerchief KIM CATTRALL before leaving the famed club with what appeared to be a whole group of drunken Idaho tourists—only to be tied to a light post and have turn after turn taken on her by said company.
The actor’s husband could not be reached for comment this weekend, as he was reportedly busy kicking her legs out and smacking her with glove after weighted glove.
THE SUN REPORTS NOTHING AIN'T NONE OF US ALREADY GUESSED: MICK JAGGER'S GOT BIG BALLS, TINY DICK.
HO-HUM.
THE AVUNCULAR MONSIEUR MICHAEL JAGGER VS. HUGH HEFNER: QUIEN ES MAS SCARY?!?!
BOSTON (SkullGame) -- Senior Citizen & Classic Rocker Mick Jagger has a "tiny willy," says his Rolling Stones bandmate Keith Richards, referring to the diminutive front man's midgetly member. Keith, 61, into whose passed out mouth that famous "willy" has worked its way in to many a night, shattered the myth of womanizer Mick’s legendary manhood as the Stones kicked off their world tour in the US.
The guitarist said: “His cock’s on the end of his nose. And a very small one at that. Huge balls. Small cock. Ask Marianne Faithfull.” He also scoffingly referred to his old friend’s willy as “that little thing” in an interview with Q magazine. Mick, 61, the only sex god in adult diapers outside of LARRY KING was still trying to live up to the image as he pranced around stage in Boston in tight trousers, and even looked like he was pointing at his "willy" as if to say "look...look at it....fear it....love it....touch it....it won't hurt you....It CAIN'T!!!!"
