As of this writing, 2 A.M. on Monday morning, it seems not everybody named LISA STUBBING is capable of handling LISA STUBBING's alcohol or is even capable of handling the thought that the SkullGame-sponsored dinner (a burrito) brought up again by LISA STUBBING and her desire to impress us by drinking waaaaaayyyy more than LISA STUBBING should have, will go to waste.
WE THANK YOU LISA STUBBING & YOUR ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE OF SELF ESTEEM, YOU VOMIT EATER YOU!!!
IN PHOTO-SOCIOLOGICAL ESSAY COURTNEY LOVE, UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT OF "CELEBRITY" "ROAST" PLACES LIPS TO LONG MEAT TO THE AMUSEMENT & SHOCK OF ONE GUY IN BURKINA FASO. MAYBE.
"CAN YOU SMELL MY PUSSY FROM OVER THERE? YEAH. I THOUGHT SO. I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE 'NOT-SO-FRESH', UM, DECADES..."
JUST WHAT AMERICA NEEDS LESS OF: MURDERING MILLIONAIRE SKANKS RAPING OUR EYES.
STEVE LAUGHS BECAUSE HE HATES HIS COCK, WHILE NICK (LEFT) LAUGHS BECAUSE THIS IS A TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF SOMETHING ELSE THAT SHOULD NOT BE DONE EVEN WITH "YOUR COCK".
ANOTHER ITALIAN SALVO: GWYNETH PALTROW IS A WHORE.
HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD!!! THAT WICKY WACKY TICKY TACKY HOLLYWOOD!!!
LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- Dope of stage and screen GWYNETH PALTROW says: “Hollywood” is “hard” for “women” Referring to the fact that women, and women writers in particular, often get mistreated by studio heads, who take their often personal screenplays and fill them full of so many clichés that they often become indiscernible from every other big budget female movie put out, most of which are starring Adam Sandler and incidentally enough…Gwyneth Paltrow… and Drew Barrymore… and CAMERON DIAZ; here listed in order of mind numbing irrelevance.
Paltrow goes on to say “These Studio executives think that by adding the song 'Respect' to any movie soundtrack it will immediately turn it into a you-go-girl feel good woman’s film.” Going on to say “You can’t just pair someone off with Adam Sandler and a penguin, or even more disturbingly, BEN AFFLECK, and say there you go: a movie by women for women.”
When asked for comment every Studio Exec we contacted pretty much said: “Who?”
Paltrow who until recently was known by her Hollywood nom de guerre Paltrow-Barrymore-Diaz has begun to fancy herself a writer/director debuting her new talents with Dealbreakers, a short movie about the pitfalls of the singles' scene. When asked if the movie will include poorly applied suck jobs to self-absorbed pseudo-musicians, or a scene wherein she runs a sperm-filled hand through her hair Paltrow said: “ NO…well, yes and no…mostly yes.” To which we will have to agree that the answer is invariably…mostly yes.
RUN GWYNETH. RUN WILD. RUN FREE.
TERRELL OWENS IN HISSY FIT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS SLAPS HIS MAN VALET NAMED ANDRE, STORMS OFF FIELD & CRIES. JUST CRIES. ANDY REID SENDS HIM HOMO TO "SLEEP IT OFF".
TERRELL OWENS & A CLOSE PERSONAL MAN FRIEND NAMED TWAN
PHILADELPHIA (SkullGame) -- After an argument about "just the tone of his voice and whatnot," TERRELL OWENS was sent away/stormed off to his front yard where he tore off his shirt and proceeded to weightlift his troubles away whilst proclaiming that he was going to go to the Bahamas until ANDY REID called next week to apologize for being irredeemably rude.
"I don't know what I was thinking," said a visibly perturbed and lip pursed Owens. "Him and McNabb's..." almost overcome with the emotion of the moment, "lemme just say that I'm going to fight this the only way I know how: with my ass."
