And because we believe the children are the future, we celebrate this, our first SKULLGAME Children's Day with the release of our newest monograph, soon to be available in the SkullGame store.

TREAT THEM WELL AND LET THEM LEAD THE WAY.

UFC 49: UNFINISHED BUSINESS: RANDY COUTURE V. VITOR BELFORT, YVES EDWARDS V. JOSH THOMSON, VINNIE ROSE V. THE RING GIRL

YES. THIS ONE.

LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) -- It was a Certs encounter of the highest order. He looked at her. She looked at him. He chose to speak to KEVIN RANDLEMAN instead. But THIS time the unfinished business will BE finished by our own intrepid VINNIE ROSE. In exactly 2:35 of the first series of strokes. Loser and still champion...by premature ejaculation. Smart money rides on Rose.

RICH, RICH, RICH NEGROES GET RICHER: WATCHING HO'S BE HO'S

IN THE TIME IT'LL TAKE YOU TO READ THIS? YUP. I MADE YET ANOTHER MIL. WELCOME TO HELL, MOTHERFUCKER.

CHATSWORTH, (SkullGame) -- In January 2004, DIGITAL SIN, having correctly guessed that G-UNIT recording artists LLOYD BANKS, YOUNG BUCK and 50 CENT, already richer than GOD, were not quite yet rich enough, signed a deal for them to host an interactive sex DVD entitled GROUPIE LOVE. The thinking being, we guess, that if we didn't already feel bad enough seeing guys whose only extant skill is talking cool over bass heavy beats and getting shot make 300 million dollars a year and fuck starlets, that we'd really be pushed to suicidally significant heights by watching them and their entourages laugh all the way from stretch limos to private jets and all up inside the likes of MONICA SWEETHEART, KAYLANI LEI and LACEY DUVALL.

According to press releases the girls are programmed to respond directly to the viewer's direction up to and including the sobbed pleas for it all to stop, goddamn it, just make it stop.

ASIA ARGENTO TAKES OFF HER CLOTHES AND THEN DROPS A TURD

ASIA WITH A SMALL, AFROED CHILD BETWEEN HER LEGS

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- "Actor" MICHAEL PITT [who?] is reportedly devastated after being dumped by lover, daughter of the director of SUSPIRIA and "actress" ASIA ARGENTO [who?]. According to insiders, the actor enjoyed a steamy fling on the set of the upcoming movie, "The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things," and their affair continued throughout the recent filming of Gus Van Sant's rock drama "Last Days."

However, on completion of the film -- which is loosely based on the life of tragic Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain -- Asia decided to end the romance, by having him shotgunned to death in their Seattle home.

VINCENT GALLO GETS HIS COCK SUCKED ON SUNSET BOULEVARD

YEAH. HIM AND EVERYBODY ELSE.

LOS ANGELES (SkullGame) -- A billboard promoting the film "The Brown Bunny" is pictured along Sunset boulevard in Hollywood. The billboard features a blurred photograph of the film's stars avid SkullGame reader VINCENT GALLO getting sucked off by CHLOE SEVIGNY, his real life former bitch. The film about a motorbike racer and his lost love, debuted at the Cannes film festival in May 2004 and features what some who have never ever seen any of the movies we fucking see have termed the most graphic sex scene ever portrayed on screen.

Whatever.

NEXT WEEK: SKULLGAME LEAVES TO GERMANY 8/26, RETURNING 9/06. BE PREPARED TO READ RE-RUNS, VINCE. I MEAN WHAT BETWEEN YOU GETTING SUCKED OFF AND ALL BY STARLETS.