Private

Rating: ONE & A HALF "Mmmaghh Feshi Wha?" BUSTED NUTS

Private is famous for being the company to go all out. In the mid- to late-90s, when big production porn was at its peak, Private had Lamborghinis and helicopters in their fuck flicks. Hell, they even had a fucking cruise liner with “PRIVATE” written in 100,000 point font on the side of the ship.

KAYLANI LEI'S SOME COCK ON HER TONGUE

DELILAH is the latest Private movie in which a considerable amount of money (for porn, anyway) had been thrown into it. So we have to ask the question: don’t you think they could have used some of that dough to buy some goddamn microphones?

DELILAH is a reprise of a bullshit story of people who can put on some fantasy fucking high-tech glasses and get virtually laid. Fine. But the killer is all the talking, which of course is important to story development, except for two things:

1) all the actors – who, despite being Americans speaking in their native language (English) – have their voices over-dubbed in English by something that could only have come out of a can, or an ANTONIO ADAMO movie. The lip-synching is not too bad, but not quite right. And all these people speak perfectly fine in their other movies, so what gives?

2) In light of #1, the sheer amount of talking. Oh, yeah, the fucking is also over-dubbed.

PIERRE WOODMAN's Private movies were all dubbed. And badly. But somehow it added to the charm. Practically, the actors were from all over the place, so having a uniform soundtrack made some sense. Also, it seems to be Pierre’s style to not shut the fuck up during his direction. DELILAH, however, is inexplicable and inexcusable.

But the movie’s got KAYLANI LEI, which accounts for a lot. Lei is just fucking gorgeous, but it’s time for her to step up to the bigs and start doing anal, especially for a European company that makes it such a big part of their marketability.

To sum up, DELILAH has some trace good points, but it all gets erased by the abysmally executed fluff. -- STEELY ROB

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