HOW the fuck were things around Casa Skull this weekend? [Like you really give a shit.] According to ITALIAN SAL PACINO in the recently aired on NPR, The Vinnie Chronicles said: "I put my finger in my girlfriend's ass. When she stopped me what due to her hating ass fucking, and my cock, I started screaming and ran out of her house and into the hallway of her apartment building naked. This, I believe, was the right thing to do."

Of course, as much as his girlfriend ANGEL hates cocks? She apparently LOVES bananas.

A BANANA A DAY, OR THREE, KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY. AND THE COCK. SPECIFICALLY, SAL'S.

AND then there's this after our welcome back party went on too long and too hard.

THESE EVENTS ARE, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, VERY DEFINITELY CONNECTED.

PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE BARACK OBAMA WORKS TO ATTRACT ERRANT CLINTON SUPPORTERS.

"HEYYYYYY, BITCHESSSSS!!! HOOK ME THE FUCK UP!!!" THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN APPROVED BY "BARACK MOTHERFUCKING ROCK, OBAMA, MAMA...BITCHES!!!"

SUPERMODEL OF THE WORLD & PHONE THROWER NAOMI CAMPBELL

"I'SH, ER, FAKIN', UM, FERSHLUNGER...EGGS!!!

DRUNKABRIA, ITALY (SkullGame) -- British supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL has laughed and laughed and laughed off reports she collapsed after a recent reportedly boozy night in Italy, insisting she was just playing a game with pals. A game that apparently involves laughing and laughing and laughing. And falling down. And hitting serving sluts with Virtus.

The catwalk queen was snapped this week seemingly unable to stand, while being surrounded by male "friends" who look as though they are battling to help the beauty to her feet. Reports suggested the star, who was holidaying on the Italian island of Capri, had become so intoxicated while partying, she couldn't stand and had to be carried back to her hotel by "concerned pals" who, if history is any indicator, carried their concerns via their cocks, and each other's mouths, completely ignoring the prostrate, naked and incapacitated model.

However, the star's representative states the 38-year-old was not suffering the effects of a heavy night of drinking, but, in fact, was playing a "trust" game with friends. "It was just a bit of fun and not down to drink. Naomi was playing this trust game, where you fall into a friend's arms." And in a bizarre twist, the representative also blames Italy's scorching temperatures on the stumble: "It's very hot there, so that could also have had something to do with it."

Yeah. That's what we said.

AND BECAUSE WE'RE DRUNK & WE PROMISED: OUR BUKKAKE PSA...