ONE GODDAMNED WORD....
BUY THIS FUCKING BOOK: FIGHT: OR, EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ASS-KICKING BUT WERE AFRAID YOU'D GET YOUR ASS KICKED FOR ASKING. IT SUCKS ABOUT AS MUCH AS GETTING HEAD FROM ABOUT 30 SLUTS AT ONCE DOES.
AND FROM earlier in the week....
GAY SEX GONE PUBLIC AS KID ROCK & TOMMY LEE EXCHANGE PENILE PLEASANTRIES AT MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS. ATTENDEES REPORT BEING AWED, APPALLED, BUT...NOT A DAMN BIT SURPRISED AT ALL. PLUS: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SLUTTERY, WITH PICS. OF SLUTTERY. BUTTERY.
Robert Ritchie (screen name Kid Rock) fresh from a heartfelt duet sung with lead male star Tommy Lee at MTV’s Jacques Morali benefit concert. Horrifed onlookers allege that the twosome performed a charged medley of “Hot Cop” and “Action Man” entirely via interpretive dance before celebrating Freddie Mercury's birthday by catching something new from Pamela Anderson and then denying it to the press.
LAS VEGAS (SkullGame) - Surrounded by men hired to be seen with them in public, and equally befuddled by the other having actually been invited to a party, documented homosexual Kid Rock and aging transvestite Tommy Lee, obviously moved by an impassioned Alicia Keys performance, traded words and blows at MTV’s esteemed Video Music Awards Sunday night – a public display of affection that led to both washed up rock stars being escorted by security out of the Pearl Theater in the Palms Casino Resort and to the nearest karaoke bar to sign autographs for Midwestern tourists.
In what the Associated Press has verified was an attempt to convince non-blacks of what blacks have known all along: that he was from the suburbs of Detroit, Rock reportedly slapped Lee after the former Motley Crue drummer was overheard informing him that they had both married a man.
Eyewitness accounts gathered by SkullGame editors report that Lee, gay, attempted to grab Rock’s penis and put it back where they both know it has already been but was interrupted by a poorly thrown punch by the star of VH1s first known financial delving into organized Satanism - A Kid Rock Christmas - sending the former retreating and weeping to what show attendee Jermaine Dupri surmised was “the same place we’ve all been trying to get since, what, 1999? Away from white people rapping over country songs.”
Security quickly detained both men, with Lee being ushered out of the venue. Rock, on the other hand, was held back momentarily until Lee was out of felatting distance and then calmly exited alongside security, asking each and every one of them for their phone numbers.
"I never hit nobody for nothing before," Rock was overhead saying in the lobby of the casino. "I told him to shut the fuck up or I was going to have mouth sex with him too."
“What?”
According to a spokesperson for the Las Vegas Police Department, Rock was cited for misdemeanor battery for his assault on Lee but was not detained or taken into police custody, instead being issued a summons to return to Vegas for a future court date. If convicted, he faces a $500 fine and up to six months behind bars – something Rock’s attorney told SkullGame Tuesday morning that “he’s been waiting forever to do. Not the paying people $500 part – he doesn’t even have that anymore. I’m talking about the blowing a whole bunch of dudes part. ”
Media professionals speculate that the catalyst of the night’s “man on man behavior” was former Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, who has been married to both Rock and Lee in the past 12 years and was present at the awards ceremony dressed as a woman.
“The love triangle's presence in one setting”, MTV.com says, “set the stage for an explosive situation that detonated in an ugly fashion.” As inside source and “friend of the movement” that wishes to remain known only as Danny Smith II of 713 South St, Lafayette, IN says “this wasn't the first scuffle between the three mens.” On New Year's Eve of 2006, less than two months after Anderson traveled all the way to Massachusetts to file for divorce from Rock, Smith alleges that the "Bawitdaba" scribe reportedly learned that his ex had wandered back into Lee's arms.
Witnesses claim that Rock, after drinking a handful of Smirnoff Ices, tried to track Lee down at a local gay bar, but found Smith instead. The two then retreated to Rock’s hotel room at Circus Circus and penned the poems that would make up Rock’s upcoming release A Man’s Tail: Or Me and Danny Smith II of 713 South St. Lafayette, IN At Circus Circus Watching Reruns Of Will And Grace With Our Pants Off.
AND FROM earlier in the week...
REPUBLICAN BATTLES BATHROOM BUGGERY CHARGE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW: ASS FIRST. PLUS: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL'S STAR VANESSA HUDGENS' BOYFRIEND RUINS IT FOR REST OF US BY GIVING SKULLGAME HER NUDE PICS. FOR US TO JACK OFF TO. AND PETE DOHERTY'S CRACK CAT.
THIS Republican Rimjobbery edition of SkullGame is brought to you by BLUBBERY WHITE BROAD, INC., a wholly owned subsidiary of TRAILER PARK TRAMP...
...WHERE EATING CHEETOS IS OUR BUSINESS. AND BLUBBERING. AND SUCKING. AND APPEARING ON TALK SHOWS WHEREIN YOU BLUBBER, SUCK AND EAT CHEETOS. THIS IS OUR BUSINESS.
REPUBLICAN SENATOR LARRY CRAIG, BATHROOM BLOWJOBBERY NOTWITHSTANDING, FIGHTING CHARGES OF FAGGOTRY LEVELED AT HIM BY HULK HOGAN, DONALD RUMSFELD, NATION, WHAT ON ACCOUNT OF HIM NOT EVER SUCKING COCK. MUCH. EVER. BEFORE. IF YOU DON'T COUNT THOSE FEW TIMES AT JFK. AND SFO. AND OF COURSE LAX. WHILE WAITING ON A FLIGHT TO CHG. WHICH YOU CAN'T REALLY COUNT SINCE THOSE COCKS FOUND HIM AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AND BESIDES WHICH IF THE SENATOR IS DOING THE COCKSUCKING DOESN'T THAT MAKE THE OTHER GUY GAY?!?!?
WASHINGTON, D.C. (SkullGame) -- Not-Gay Republican Sen. LARRY CRAIG will file court documents today asking to withdraw his guilty plea to crawling under a bathroom stall for "hot, hot cock" in a sex sting that seems likely to end his career of crawling under bathroom stalls for "hot, hot cock," his attorney said.
Craig, an Idaho Republican, pleaded guilty from penis piracy in August to disorderly conduct following a sting operation in a men's bathroom at the Minneapolis airport designed to catch all and sundry like butt bandits.
He has said he regrets that decision, which he said he made hastily in the full post-coital blush of buggery, and without talking to an attorney who, it might even be said, possibly sported a "hot, hot cock." He said he was under stress of searching from stall to stall for cock and pleaded guilty only to put the matter BEHIND him.
Attorney William Martin said Sunday night that a request to withdraw that plea for penis would be filed Monday. "My job is to get him back to where he was before his rights to suck as much cock as is his wont were taken away," Martin said.
"Mmm, boy. He sure loves that cock," Martin said in his closing statement while shaking his head and making the universal jerk-off sign in the air.
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SLUT'S BOYFRIEND RUINS IT FOR THE REST OF US TRYING TO GET SLUTS TO POSE NAKED FOR US BY SENDING SKULLGAME PICS OF SAID SLUT SO WE COULD SHOW YOU WHAT A SLUT WHO'D HAVE SEX WITH A GUY WHO RUINS IT FOR EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE.
YUP. SHE'S GOT 2 TITTIES. JUST AS WE SUSPECTED. BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH THAT UNRULY GODDAMNED THATCH BETWEEN HER LEGS?!?! IS SHE TRYING TO MAKE US SICK?!?
HOLLYWOOD (SkullGame) -- VANESSA HUDGENS' representative has confirmed reports that odds makers were furious that nude photos circulating on the Internet are of the "High School Musical" star marking her as the first official teen star of the popular Disney phenomena to draw infamy on the enterprise ahead of CORBIN, the Negro.
Last week, the National Enquirer reported saucy images of the 18-year-old singer/actress had been taken from her possession. Mostly when they had been taken by her non-Negro boyfriend's cell phone. To all of his friends. Including CORNHOLIO here at SkullGame.
After the images began appearing on the Internet on this week, Hudgens' representative released a statement, confirming their authenticity. The rep says, "It is a personal matter between a slut & her suitcase pimp and it is unfortunate that this has become public. This was a photo which was taken privately. Without the dildo, even."
"I'LL SUCK YO' DICK FOR A DOLLAR...." SAYS PETE DOHERTY'S CAT. ANOTHER SAD VICTIM OF CRACK. AND PETE DOHERTY.
"I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS JOE ROGAN. BUT I SMOKE ROCK."
LONDON (SkullGame) -- Troubled crackhead PETE DOHERTY has been captured on camera with his crackhead cat, forcing her to smoke crack, turn tricks, according to reports.
Friends have leaked a picture to Britain's The Sun, which shows the rocker appearing to hold a miniature crack pipe against the feline's mouth. A "pal" tells the newspaper, "The levels of think tank like thinking that went into actually inventing a cat crack pipe should actually win Pete a Nobel Peace Prize. How much suffering will this alleviate when strung out female felines are shunted into careers in crack whoreage thereby thus alleviating the suffering of tom cats caused by twice yearly estrus cycles. YOU try only fucking twice a year and see how YOU like it."
It was revealed in August that the Royal Society for the Protection of Animals were planning to investigate the rocker after his cat was rushed to a clinic and found to have ingested cocaine.
