IN an all-too-rare sit down interview with ITALIAN SAL PACINO we, in the first of a series are going to go deep, deep, deep into the mind of a SkullGame writer, for the premier edition of YOU DON'T SAY?

"WELL ACTUALLY I'M HAVING MY PERIOD RIGHT NOW. AND I HAVE A YEAST INFECTION. AND I'M A LESBIAN. WITH HERPES. AND DID I MENTION I'M MARRIED?" SAL WITH PORN SLUT FRANCESCA LE & A WHOLE BUTTLOAD OF REASONS WHY NOT TO.

"So if your Ex is a dirty filthy fucking whore, and I don't mean that in a bad way, but if she IS a dirty filthy whore I need to educate you on what's going through her head during each and every one of these exercises in absolutely sluttish behavior: in some weird math equation of failure-fucking she has figured out that by choosing those less worthy than you, she can effectively lower your worth to HALF of those losers she fucks."

YOU DON'T SAY?

"I do goddamned too say."

TIGER WOODS' PGA WIN DOESN'T IN ANYWAY DIM HIS WIFE'S EXTANT SLUTTERY

MR. WOODS IMMEDIATELY POST-FINDING OUT THAT SKULLGAME TELLS THE TRUTH, "SAY IT AIN'T SO, MY WHITE SCANDINAVIAN WIFE, PLEASE SAY IT AIN'T SO."

TULSA, Okla. (SkullGame) — A season of first-time major winners ended with a familiar champion — TIGER WOODS, who seems to win them all, despite the fact that his wife's nude pictures have provided many habitues of SkullGame with hours and hours of masturbatory fantasy.

Challenged only briefly Sunday along the back nine of steamy, sultry, and yielding Southern Hills, Woods captured the PGA Championship to win at least one major for the third straight season and run his career total to 13 as he moves closer to the standard set by Jack Nicklaus. One arena in which he is well ahead of Jack Nicklaus, however, is in nude pics of his wife on the Internets.

Woods closed with a 1-under 69 for a two-shot victory over Woody Austin, a gritty journeyman whose consolation prize was earning a spot on the U.S. team for the Presidents Cup and the only thing different about this title was how it ended. With people passing around iPhone pics of Elin's big, ol' juicy tits while Woods became the first major champion in seven tries to make a par on the 72nd hole at Southern Hills.

"That's a feeling I've never experienced before," Woods said. "To have both of her tits here, it brings chills to me. To know that all of America's got their cranks out to her. It's just so cool. In a very sad way."

AND A BRIEF ENDNOTE FROM THE MONEY MAN BEHIND THE MAN HERE AT SKULLGAME....

AND THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE: "YOU GOT MORE TO WORRY ABOUT THAN GOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW....."

Hence our re-running [below] of a private public service announcement....

"WHAT? You motherfuckers think I'm JOKING?!?! Jesus spoke to me today and, well, I don't remember exactly what he said but I'm pretty goddamned sure that it had to do with the amount of porn you purchase from me and his willingness to not go after my gentles...so BUY bitches. SkullGame t-shirts count too, you heartless bastards!!!!"

AN "ARTIST'S" "DEPICTION" OF MR. ROSE POST-JESUS-COCK CUTTING.